I told my Mother "WE" would help her rebuild.

[newmomnewme]

myFico Family, I got a little excited about my rebuilding success...made the mistake of telling my mom and now she wants help.

She did major damage within the last 6 months. In March, she planned to file BK, lawyer told her she had the ability to pay, so she joined National Debt Helper??? They set up an automatic withdrawl $500 monthly (3 months so far); said she would have her debt paid off in 36 months? She gave them POA to talk to all of her creditors....but,  It sounds super shady.

They claim to stop collection actions, settle each of her accounts one at a time when she got enough money in her "account"....so far $1500 and they haven't paid anything. I told her to cancel it, I hope I they dont try to keep her $1500. Then, i pulled her EQ here on myFico and this is what I found out:

Basically, she has a mortgage (never late) an auto loan (never late) and at least 20 CC (all  with 120 days late)...no CA on CR yet. She told me she stopped paying all of her CC when she thought she was going to file BK. She said she would send me POA, but I don't know where to start. I don't think any CCs will re-open her accounts...I don't know what to do for her. She only has about $500-$600 per month to pay everyone...

[llecs]

First off...know that whatever you do, she has to know. And only take action if you feel she's 100% on board with whatever it is you are doing. If she's not willing to buy new reports, write letters or at least be enthusiastic about the ones you write, follow your steps/requests to a "T", then walk away. My FIL asked for my help but after one month his enthusiasm waned and he didn't care if I wrote letters or not. He didn't want to sit down with me to hear what I was saying or to hear updates on the success thus far. So, I stopped helping. I think if I continued it would have hurt him. He hadn't reached that magical pain point of wanting to do more to fix things.

You know the steps. IMO, focus on the car and mortgage for obvious reasons. I'd have her rip up her own CCs. I'd focus on the TLs that can be saved as well as TLs that might cause major headaches later (some really like to sue). I'd also focus on the newest baddies first and lowest balances first. I'd have her pull her credit daily to track the changes, GWs, status updates, TLs being sold, etc. Make sure she ignores the calls. Finally, I'd have her rebudget, sell stuff around the house, and cash in any assets like savings or retirement. 

[newmomnewme]

Thanks @ IIecs. I fear that she will lose interest quickly....we aren't in the same state either...so I would have to do phone calls with her weekly and hope that she is making the phonecalls she needs to make. I am going to get started on a plan of attack. I wonder if any of the accounts that are 120 late are still open. 

[benandjerry]

To put it bluntly: people need to rebuild their credit themselves, but you can help them. The minute you start doing things for them, they will possibly consider it your responsibility and may even end up blaming you if things don't go as planned.

So you can tell them where to find information on standard letters to write, who to call and what to ask for etc, but in the end they need to take the actual actions.

Own the debt, own the responsibility.

[madmann26]

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@benandjerry wrote:

To put it bluntly: "people need to rebuild their credit themselves,"

This is why I haven't helped my sister any more then I have. If I do it for her, then she won't appreciate it near as much. I've told her that once she gets her derogs taken care of that I would add her as an AU on one of my cards (though, no physical card will be issued) just to help her  but she has to do the footwork. I gave her the link to this site and now it's up to her.

[newmomnewme]

Thanks guys. I will start her off....it really is going to be a lot of work. She has to contact all of her creditors (since they haven't gone to CAs yet) and set up some arrangements. It is a mess!

[newmomnewme]

Update: She is going to a BK attorney today....I am going to go over the BK boards here and see if I can find out any information for her....She doesn't have the means to pay and she is getting stressed out with all of the phonecalls.

[Bleu]

Similiar story but with my brother. I just told him go to this site and read. He's doing better , but i personally wouldnt help anyone with their credit. Do it yourself.