Hi everyone again,
Getting ready to start the saturation technique GW campaign. Can you read my letter below and tell me if its ok, good, or bad? Anything I need to change or add?
Thanks in advance!!
Jane Doe
Acct #5XXXXXXXXXX
Acct #5XXXXXXXXXX
Acct #5XXXXXXXXXX
October 14, 2019
123-123-1234
Richard D. Fairbank
Founder
Chairman, Chief Executive Officer
Dear Richard Fairbanks:
I have enjoyed doing business with your company and hope to continue to do so for many years. I am writing to see whether CAPITAL ONE would consider making a goodwill deletion to the credit reporting bureaus on my accounts. I am an established customer to CAPITAL ONE with three opened accounts and have made on time payments for all in the past several months. I am asking if you will please remove the adverse late payments from these accounts reporting to the credit bureaus. I understand this is a rather unusual request--particularly as my account fell behind upwards of 120 days in 2018.
CAPITAL ONE employees have been extremely helpful in working with me to repair my credit after a time of turmoil in the past. The ease with which I was able to obtain these new accounts gave me something to rebuild my credit history and helped me to move forward. In 2017, I lost my grandfather to a stroke and a month later my best friend to a heart attack. 3 months after those tragic losses I separated from my husband. During this time, I picked up everything and moved to MD to be closer to my now widowed grandmother who was completely alone. After some time of living in MD I decided to divorce my husband. With the huge unplanned move and legal fees, it became very hard to keep up with all the payments. I tried as hard as I could to pay whenever I was able. Capital one was incredibly patient with me and for that I will never forget.
I am now in a very stable position. I was promoted at work to Corporate Social Media Specialist. I have received two raises since the promotion, one just recently on October 1, 2019. I have NOT made any late payment to your corporation since the promotion. I have managed to pay my bill above the minimum balance every single time.
If what I ask is too much, then any goodwill adjustment to the reporting bureaus would be most appreciated. I am trying very hard as a recently divorced mother to stay on top of my financial matters, while helping my grandmother and family continue to deal with these tragic losses. So, any help from you will be so VERY much appreciated.
However, regardless of your decision, please know that my son and I thank you for helping us at a time when it was needed, and we will continue to keep a positive payment history with your company.
Sincerely,
Jane Doe.
Starting Score: TU-470 4/11/19, EQ-482 4/11/19, EX-486 4/11/19
@Tuscani wrote:Seems a little long to me.. but you want to tell the story so to speak. Looks good otherwise!
Thanks for the feedback! Was a little worried there. I see what you mean, on here it does look a little long but in my word doc it all fits on one page.
@Izzesparks,
I concur about the length as the first paragraph is a bit wordy. I would add the specific derogatory report you’d like to remove with month and specific page it’s reporting.
Good luck. Let us know if it works.
I concur about the length as the first paragraph is a bit wordy. I would add the specific derogatory report you’d like to remove with month and specific page it’s reporting.
Good luck. Let us know if it works.
Comments:
* I like the tone of the piece: respectful; dignified; sincere;
* I don't like the opening -- you ask for the GW before making him want to help you;
* I don't like the ending -- you give him an easy out to say NO; the whole idea of this is to provide a compelling reason for him/her to say YES and to make it hurt him/her to say NO.
* I agree it's too long. Trim. Read other letters online that have had success.
It's a good start. Keep at it. Good luck.
Starting Score: (5/24/2018) -- FICO 08 EXP: 643; FICO 08 TU: 642; FICO 08 EQ: 677
@James_A wrote:Comments:
* I like the tone of the piece: respectful; dignified; sincere;
* I don't like the opening -- you ask for the GW before making him want to help you;
* I don't like the ending -- you give him an easy out to say NO; the whole idea of this is to provide a compelling reason for him/her to say YES and to make it hurt him/her to say NO.
* I agree it's too long. Trim. Read other letters online that have had success.
It's a good start. Keep at it. Good luck.
Thanks for the tips and advice, it is very much appreciated I will edit it now. 