my stupid fault

[fishbjc]

First:  Don't beat yourself up over this.  Use this as a LESSON, and you'll work harder next time.

If at all possible, snag a holiday p/t job.  Put everything toward paying these off.  Cut back on entertaining, do only the minimums for yourself and this is very doable for the average person.  Use eBay to gain $$$.

Congrats for jumping on this forum and asking for help.

[Anonymous]

Definitley some good points on here about the psychology of money. All of us have a tendancy to overspend and live beyond our means. Thats why I like this forum is there is little BS, its all truthful and everyone jumps to help the people who want help. As stated above, dont beat yourself up, everyone here will help you build a plan to move forward towards home ownership. You did good job laying out the debts, so once you get the budget ready and posted we will all be able to give you some advice. Just remember though that a budget only works if you stick to the budget. Budgeting $30 for entertainment and then spending $100 on dinner and movie kind of destroyes the budget. I constantly overspend on my budget, I budget $200 for food and then go out to eat and blow $200 in two weeks lol. It always happens, but atleast we have a support group to help us build.

[logansmom0117]

Here is my budget so far.  My other half just started working again this week,  It will be sporadic depending on how he is feeling.  I am hoping he will be able to bring home close to 700/month. That would cover the deficit.  And the grocery budget is crazy.  We have two kids.  But live w my mom and college aged brother.....we all share for the most part.  

                                        monthly

rent/mortgage                    500

credit cards                       350

car payment                      400

car insurance                    121

Gas (car)                          300

tolls                                  10

Food                                 600

registration/dl renewal        12

inspections/emissions        75

Subscriptions (Prime and BJS)        20

phone                                200

play money (eating out, smokes for Jon, etc)   400

daycare                             840

                          Total Out 3828

               Total Paychecks 3180

                                        -648

[Anonymous]

Ok, So first we have to figure out how to balance the budget. Having a balanced budget is key to having a healthy life and credit.

There is no doubt that the following is going to be stressful but here are some Questions:

1) is it possible to reduce the food budget at all? Maybe change what you eat until your husband gets back to work full time? If not, maybe get your brother and mother to help out a little on the food budget since they eat the food as well. I switch to ramen noodles and PBJ when in difficult times, it sucks but less stressful then not being able to pay bills.

2) Are you in a contract for your phone? If not I would try switching to prepaid, I use page plus which is same as Verizon but only costs me $50/month

3) Play Money, this is always the category where cuts should be made first when budget is out of balance. This is also the hardest category to cut from because it is the category that provides the most emotional support while going through hard times. Just keep in mind that this is a hard time and things are temporary.

4) Daycare, is it possible to have your mother/brother/trusted friend watch the kids for less money. This is a huge exspense so if you could do something different that would be huge help. If not then it is what it is.

Most important point I am trying to covey is that you are in a financial crisis and therefore tough choices have to be made. On the bright side your other half is getting healthy again and this crisis may be short lived.

[logansmom0117]

ugh and I also didn't put in my personal loan.  Thats 132 per month.  learning process I guess. 

[Anonymous]

I'll throw in another suggestion ... because we were stuggling with this a bit earlier this summer. 

I signed up with Mint, so that I could see where all of our money was going. I did this religiously for six months. And I was brutally honest, even making mental and physical notes outside of Mint, so that I could keep certain things in mind. I also created a monthly bills spreadsheet, that lists all of our monthly hard expenses (mortgage, car loans, insurance, utilities, etc). It shows how much it is, or thereabouts for bills that can fluctuate, and the dates the bills are due. It lists our direct deposts and the dates they come in.

So my spreadsheet lists all the bills, but then off to the side of the spreadsheet it also lists our deposit dates, and I can copy and paste expenses under the appropriate deposit when those bills are due. That way I know what ABSOLUTELY has to be paid on specific dates (this also helps me make my CC payments and keep UTI down). I've also gotten us to the point where I'd say half of our "monthly spend" for bills is on my Quicksilver card. That gives us a little wiggle room in the budget to pay things when they're due, but then pay off the credit card with certain deposits, before my statement cuts.

So between tracking the hard costs, and the money that was tracking in Mint, I was able to determine just how much of our "excess" money was going out and specifically where it was going. 

We have family in Minnesota, and in southern Wisconsin, and we were spending between $300 and $600 a month visiting them. It was staggering. 

We were also eating out a lot ... way more than we should have been, especially in light of how much we were spending on groceries. 

I say all this to help you see that you might be missing spending that you're not counting, or that sometimes what we think we spent is actually lower than the truth. 

When you're budgeting you have to be BRUTALLY honest with yourself first. And let me tell you, it's sobering, and then I had to show my wife, and it opened her eyes too. We've cut back on dining out, and we've cut back on our travel. 

Granted, we don't have the difficulty with income like you do, but there may be costs you're forgetting about or overlooking and that may help with the shortfall

[logansmom0117]

Thank you!  I need my other half on target with all this too.  We are getting better.  But still learning.  i am making a decent living....if we didn't have 8 cards....we would be a little better on one income.  

[Anonymous]

Happy to help ... 

I say it always ... but get organized. It's paramount to your success. It's been a key for mine(ours)

[logansmom0117]

I need help in that department too!