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Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

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SunriseEarth
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....


@Anonymous wrote:

        I asked my best friend / on and off partner to put me one one of his cards as a authorized user and he stopped talking to me...then after a month we finally talked again and he said I should not have asked him to do that and that I should have asked a family member.   I have known this person for 14 to 15 years and I considered him family. I would have asked a family member but no one in family has good enough credit for me to ask to AU to help me rebuild my credit. I explained to him that I just wanted it to help rebuild my credit and that I don't want to use his cards and I explained how it would help my credit in the rebuilding process.

 

         I should say this has been very eye opening and hurtful to me because I thought this person was a good close friend. I should also say that I have been a good friend to him as well that I have never used him of did him wrong in anyway.   He treated me like I was trying to rob him or something after I asked him.   I explained the pros and cons of him putting me on his card as a AU and I sent him links with info about it so he could know everything.   I also said I did not want a card and that he did not even have to ask for a card for me when if he put me on as a AU. 

          

          Was it wrong to ask what I thought was a good friend/  to do this ?  He said he talked to his parents and a brother about it and they said it was not a good idea. Now he is distancing himself from me.   


People get miffed about financial issues.   I personally don't think it was wrong of you to ask him, nor do I think it was wrong of him to say "no."   I think he may not be as knowledgable about credit as you and perhaps didn't fully understand potential risks and your proposal to avoid those risks.

 

But perhaps to address the elephant in the room, you've also stated that your friend is "an on and off partner."   That being the case, you two have had a long and likely complicated history with one another.   That being the case, there might also be some emotional issues at hand that need to be dealt with.   I think you should affirm the fact that your request was made with no intention of putting him in financial risk and perhaps simply give him some space for the time being.  In time, hopefully he'll move past what he sees as an issue and things will be as they were.  



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Message 11 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

Some people are overly cautious when it comes to finances. Foe example , I know plenty of married couples who chose to maintain separate bank accounts , credit cards, even cell phone bills. That is becoming more and more common and I do not see anything wrong with it , even I would not want that in my relationship/life. If your friend chose to not put you as an AU , I completely understand why , as do you ,, I am sure. What bothers me , is the WAY he chose to go about it.  You asked , he said no and as far as i am concerned that should have been it. If he chose to end your friendship over that ,well, then I dont know how strong of a relationship you had to begin with.. I would sit down with him and try to clear the air , if he refuses or nothing comes of it ,say "oh well, i tried " and move on

Message 12 of 30
davidsl
Member

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

As an AU, no part of your friend's credit history - good or bad - will have an impact on your credit report. If your credit is that poor, whatever difference this one account could potentially make would likely be negligible when weighted against your record.

 

My first and only problem with a request of this type is that the AU becomes in fact AUTHORIZED. As such, it's very easy then for you to get an actual card without ever alerting the original cardholder. There is no way to place a credit limit on individual users of the account but even if there was once you have that card in hand you're able to use it in all the the myriad ways poor credit decisions ruin many lives.  

 

Your friend may not have handled your request to your liking. It seems to me you continued to argue your case after the first "no" - even after you understood how uncomfortable he felt. He has no choice but 'distance' himself.  

Message 13 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....


@davidsl wrote:

As an AU, no part of your friend's credit history - good or bad - will have an impact on your credit report. If your credit is that poor, whatever difference this one account could potentially make would likely be negligible when weighted against your record.

 

My first and only problem with a request of this type is that the AU becomes in fact AUTHORIZED. As such, it's very easy then for you to get an actual card without ever alerting the original cardholder. There is no way to place a credit limit on individual users of the account but even if there was once you have that card in hand you're able to use it in all the the myriad ways poor credit decisions ruin many lives.  

 

Your friend may not have handled your request to your liking. It seems to me you continued to argue your case after the first "no" - even after you understood how uncomfortable he felt. He has no choice but 'distance' himself.  


@davidsl,

 

Well said.  I once co-signed on a car loan for a friend and it was the worst decision ever.  Ruin our friendship.  There are rules when it comes to friends,  there are certain things that crosses the line and that is one of them.. Sorry.

Message 14 of 30
davidsl
Member

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

Yes-Its-Me, I agree that finances and friends (and family) should never mix. It's impossible not to feel used when a loan goes bad and suddenly you're the bad guy (but how great were you when you agreed to help, right?). In this instance so much can go so wrong. The OP isn't a bad guy - I'm just convinced he doesn't fully comprehend exactly what it is he's asking - or how this transaction will likely not do much to help him.  

Message 15 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

Just to clarify one small issue.  One company, American Exoress, does allow you to set limits for AUs.  There might be others but I know for sure that AMEX does

Message 16 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....


@davidsl wrote:

Yes-Its-Me, I agree that finances and friends (and family) should never mix. It's impossible not to feel used when a loan goes bad and suddenly you're the bad guy (but how great were you when you agreed to help, right?). In this instance so much can go so wrong. The OP isn't a bad guy - I'm just convinced he doesn't fully comprehend exactly what it is he's asking - or how this transaction will likely not do much to help him.  


@davidsl,

 

I am absolutely with you.

Message 17 of 30
vanillabean
Valued Contributor

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

See, this is one of the reasons why I'm sceptical about couples keeping the finances separate. Sooner or later one of them is in a temporary squeeze and may ask the other in order to stay afloat.

 

Message 18 of 30
davidsl
Member

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....

Thanks for the info... I just called AMEX and of course they agreed with you. I can set a limit as low as $0 (which effectively freezes the card). The AU is issued his own card, the last 4 digits of which will be different.

 

The actual benefit to the AU is cloudy to me. The CSA was wobbly about reporting. I checked several trusted financial pages and the consensus is that there is none. Where one says (FICO 2008) amended policy allows positive reporting in favor of the AU, another reports no benefit (in the same vein I suppose that any AU may request and will be removed from any delinquent account). Whether true or not that AU status can improve credit scores, it certainly can't hurt, right? Whatevah (Yah, I'm from New England). I'm enjoying leafing through the forums, reading the comments (I appreciate how helpful everyone is) and learning.     

Message 19 of 30
gdale6
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Asked a good friend to put me on as a AU on one of his cards.....


@davidsl wrote:

Thanks for the info... I just called AMEX and of course they agreed with you. I can set a limit as low as $0 (which effectively freezes the card). The AU is issued his own card, the last 4 digits of which will be different.

 

The actual benefit to the AU is cloudy to me. The CSA was wobbly about reporting. I checked several trusted financial pages and the consensus is that there is none. Where one says (FICO 2008) amended policy allows positive reporting in favor of the AU, another reports no benefit (in the same vein I suppose that any AU may request and will be removed from any delinquent account). Whether true or not that AU status can improve credit scores, it certainly can't hurt, right? Whatevah (Yah, I'm from New England). I'm enjoying leafing through the forums, reading the comments (I appreciate how helpful everyone is) and learning.     


Fico doesnt set reporting policy but its variables can be set to screen out certain TLs like AUs. Whether or not an account reports is up to the creditor who has issued the account. In versions of Fico that included AUs then your score is going to be affected by what that AU TL looks like. With AU accounts you really want ones that have a long history and 0 to no balance being reported on them at all.

Message 20 of 30
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