At 230k it owes you nothing... did its job, Keep looking forward :-)
Maybe get her engaged in this scoring/rebuilding process too. Less talk about the negs and more about the things you both (go team) can do together to recover together.
Maybe I am old fasioned, or just different. I believe this falls under the better or worse part of the vows. You could "let her sink" on her own but, ultimately, what does that say about your marriage?
Also, triplets and an extended stay in NICU - has she seen a therapist? There could be other underlying issues there.
I'm not trying to be an a-hole but maybe a couple of things to think about.
Just my opinion....
Credit is earned. At some point, a lot of us were given a tiny little credit line, that first chance, to see how we would handle things. It sounds like both you and your wife were given a second chance with credit. It's up to each of you what you want to do with that second chance.
You've said you are being responsible.
You've said your wife is NOT being responsible. With you making her minimum payments, she is not learning or earning more credit. Please stop paying HER bill for her. She can do it herself.
Not sure what electronics you have at home. I put things on my calendar and set up SOME alerts, and the calendar automatically populates on my husband's phone. The ALERTS will notify him of an event. I put reminders on there, for birthdays, date nights, etc. Sometimes he will call me and ask, "Hey I got an alert on my phoen for x, y, z. I'm on it." or "Thanks for the reminder!" or "Oh yeah, we got that thing tomorrow."
Can you do something like that for your wife? An alert or put the payment due date on her phone/calendar?
We also have a calendar on the fridge. I use it for the menu only. DH often wanders over to read it.
When we had a lot of debt (lots of student loans, mortgage, credit card debt, kids tuition, etc) I made a chart and had it on the fridge. The chart included payment due dates. I would cross it off when I made a pymt. Updated the chart every two weeks or so. You could make one of those for your car pymt and her cc. So what if someone else sees it? So what if the kids ask mommy why she has cc debt or if she's made her pymt yet.
I'm the queen of avoidance. It's taken me most of my life to pull my head out and just do the thing. I'm doing the thing quite nicely now, but it's taken a very long time for me to learn to not bury my head in the sand and pretend everything will be "just fine". Frequent monitoring and really seeing how each action has a reaction in my credit score has helped me become responsible with my borrrowing habits. Though a husband or two has tried to "make me" become responsible, only I could do that. You can try to help her remember when her payments are due, but you can't make her responsible until she's ready to be that. In the mean time, since you're both in the same boat, I'd do minimums and nothing else. If she asks why you're doing that, tell her that you want to avoid negative marks on her credit because those affect you as well, but that you're not willing to bear the full weight of her credit usage. Talking about this subject can be very difficult, because you want her to discuss things she doesn't want to think about, but it is necessary if you are in the long haul with her.
Old thread and is now locked. Please feel free to create a new thread regarding any relevant posts. Thanks.