Credit Score and Dating....

[Startome]

I think considering a partner's credit score is entirely reasonable. But you should also be willing to hear out what happened. You may find out that they were, and still are, incredibly irresponsible. That would be an easy decision then on when it's time to leave the situation. But they could have had a parent co-sign then completely mess up their credit score. You never know until you ask .

[Ditovera]

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@JM-AM wrote:

This entire thread really makes me laugh...

I guess since Im old it really didn't have much bearing in our time. Most woman did not work, and majority of households had limited credit. Most things were purchased in cash. Most houses were small and kids doubled and tripled up in bedrooms, unless you were considered very well off. Men worked and woman budgeted for the most part. They always found a way to make things work with the income they had. Divorce while existed, was not a common thing, parents struggled and just dealt with things for the sake of their children (which I never agreed with).

In today's society to many base relationships on looks still, and then on what's in it for them. Some will base it first on what's in it for them and then on looks.  But serious folks it will always take two to make a relationship work. Looks will fade, and your financial picture will either improve, stay the same, or get worse. It is how you deal with these issues that will make or break a relationship.

I guess our generation plays a big part of how your generation perceives things now. We had our struggles and always wanted better for our kids. We saved and spent to offer you a little better way of life if it was possible. Sometimes it just isn't possible to assist financially, but your opportunities offered today for assistance were not available back in our time.

Our daughter had this way of thinking for several years, granted she was spoiled as we have become financially able to provide things for our kids, that many are not able to offer their kids. But thank goodness our ways of trying to show her the realities of life finally hit home. Now her outlook is a little different, and we are proud of her achievements and progress for a change in her attitude towards finding a partner.

Financially all 4 of our kids will have a better way of life because of what we have built up, and will eventually be theirs. But that doesn't mean when someone is dating them they should look at their credit profile. My kids have an advantage of mom and dad who can afford to assist and make those lives easier. What will happen, and how they will handle and do things after we are no longer here, only time will know.

Looks, credit, debt, health, and other things, while it can play a part in how much work is needed to make a relationship work, it should never be a reason to impact a decision of they are not for you. I know you will all slam me, but if you base your decisions on these things, does that mean as soon as one of these things happens you are going to walk away from the relationship?

You date a gorgeous, sexy woman, or a handsome, nice butt man... Have an accident and over night looks change, do you dump them? Divorce them?

You date a woman or man with a 800 credit score... Some emergency happens and have to pay an outrageous medical bill and credit drops cause they can't afford the bill, do you dump them? Divorce them?

You date a healthy gorgeous, sexy woman, or handsome man... Then one day in a normal check up they find out they have cancer, do you dump them? Divorce them?

I guess the shallow ones who feel they are perfect, would actually run for the hills.

True love will always come from within, and is very hard to find. Money can't buy love, it can only buy a little easier way of life for some, and some will never have enough.

Time to actually wake up and smell the roses, life will never be perfect.

It can only be as perfect as you make it to be, whether it is on your own or with a partner.

Either way I personally wish you all to find exactly what you wish for, just no crying after you get that wish and doesn't turn out to be what you expected.

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+1 

Well said!!!  I honestly don't understand how people define "Love" on financial compatibility and other outrageous criteria. Its as if they are looking for a business partner or a roommate they can get along with.  Its just ridiculous to me. "For better or for worse" has no meaning to most people when they get into a marriage. Relationships nowadays are about oneself and ones needs. I could go on a rant about today's misguided values and understanding of Love and marriage, that attribute  to high divorce rates and just plain immaturity. 

[Startome]

I'm not sure why you're saying for better or for worse has no meaning when the thread author never said it didn't. They're looking for dating partners first, not spouses. The whole idea of this thread is to find someone you can see yourself sticking with no matter what happens. It's wise to attach yourself to the kind of person who will build you up and support you in life, and that includes someone who can help you make wise decisions. It is so much better to commit to "for better or for worse" with someone you will be happy holding that commitment to, rather than miserable holding it to. I know personally, when I am married, it will be because I am married. For better or for worse will be held the way it was intended, as a commitment. But I sure want to make sure I make an both an informed logically and emotionally loving decision. The best of both worlds, a relationship where we make each other stronger and trust each other, finances included. Not ruin each other's lives.

[MoreRewards]

I agree with those saying you need to know WHY their score is low & their report as well as current spending habits.

Don't agree at all low score / limited credit or even bad in some cases = irresponsible

A good score doesn't always mean responsible either & it also means that they can gain access to more credit very easy to use irresponsibly.

My personal experience. My ex had good credit score, very irresponsible & clueless with money. His mom handled his finances before I came along & did (which became increasingly frustrating w/ someone so irresponsible). Maybe that was a sign but I knew at times he worked some crazy hours w/ his business so it's not always easy to get to banks, pay bills, ect so it was understandable.
To make long story as short as possible he started getting more & more credit cards & financing things. To the point of when $ tanked we didn't have a lot extra but his still good score allowed him to get even more credit. Then when $ started coming in again debts that were promised to be paid of course were not. Just keep making those min payments.
When he went for auto loan his score had dropped it was just under 720 & internal score where he got last loan was 5pts under the required for the financing he wanted.
I'm sure is score might not be excellent again but I bet it's still in the good range (he's also opened another credit card that I know of & who knows what else) despite his financial irresponsibility & being practically broke.

My current SO has limited credit history with a low score (around 600 its had recent increase). We are worKing on that together as we'd like to buy a home. They have mainly always been cash pay, even when doing well financially & for large purchases credit wasn't important. They do have a couple of baddies on report, I'm thinking one should be able to get removed as it's erroneous but I've got to look into it. Only recently started working on their credit (started on mine first no baddies but limited I was huge on cash too even while w/ my credit crazy ex so only had 2 accounts a card & a auto loan  in my history until past few years). He is Auth user on 2 of my cards still trying to get him in habit of using them like when he paid $70 to fill gas tank that's cash back lost lol. He has put at least $400 through the card though & he PIF. I trust him completely way more than my good score ex. Even if I left all cards, cash & account info it'd all be safe no spending spree.

Also still been going through divorce. Once I finally filed it has cost numerous thousands more & nearly 2yrs still not over so I feel it's holding me back too. Simply taking a lot of extra $ & waiting to get home & new vehicles till it is over!

I know people who are completely a wreck & will never change. Won't get out of debt, stop wasteful spending, always be in collections, owing rent & bill companies, ect RUN from those types fast!

[missjae]

I think it's super important to be with someone who has similar ideals about money and credit. When I met my ex-husband, he had horrible credit which included 2 repos. I had bad credit as well. We both had it for different reasons. I stupidly felt it didn't matter.

During our marriage, he always spent money irresponsibly. He would charge things and carry a balance (on my cards that he was AU on no less) when he had money to pay for the items. He'd run through money like nobody's business and never had any explanation....no strippers or anything. I even tried to discuss the issues with him on several occasions, but he always regarded me as not knowing anything and refused marriage counseling.

We ended up divorcing. I would have honored my for better or worse commitment while grinding my teeth, but he wanted to leave.

To this day, he still spends irresponsibly. I have paid off my debt, including debt he helped run up. It's been over a year since we made the agreement and he still owes me money...pays me late....

If I ever marry again, that person will have to have similar financial ideals. It's not just about bad credit. It's about their views on money period. It's one part of a relationship, but it's a part that can cause huge problems. I don't want to be with someone that takes vacations on credit cards but can't pay all or most of it off, someone that charges trashbags and is willing to pay 24% APR on them and someone who is more concerned with keeping up with the jonses rather than having a secure financial future.

[ksantangelo23]

I believe it's entirely reasonable to want to know somebodies credit report and how they manage their finances.

Lenders invest is us borrowers, but need a reassurance.

When dating, we invest in others and knowing someone has a good credit report is another form of reassurance.

[jetsfan2013]

Credit is just one side of it. Knowing how that S/O views money can make the most physically attractive person very ugly very fast.

[1_2]

I'm older than most here I assume. 57 ugh!. I had to rebuild my credit all by myself after my ex caused us to lose everything we ever worked for by becoming a raging alcoholic. I ended up homeless. 

I've worked very hard to become a home owner again and have excellent credit. Its very important to me. Life with bad credit was horrible. I had a terrible time even getting someone to rent to me and I dont blame them. 

At any rate, I was seeing a man last year who I liked. He was well educated, had a good job, we had a lot of common interests. He told me he had lost his home when the economy crashed and also had gotten divorced around that time. He lives in a much nicer home than mine and drives a BMW.  I assumed he owned his home so I asked him about how he repaired his credit. He said he didnt, he was renting from a relative and was leasing his car in his son's name. He further said, he didnt care about his credit and hadnt done a thing to repair it. 

I dunno...it just really turned me off and I stopped seeing him. I would drive an old beater and live in a trailer to repay my debts and rebuild my credit...I can say that because I did it. I did without a great many things to get myself back on track. In my mind  he was just putting on a show with no regards to actually repairing his mistakes or taking responsibilty for them. 

Maybe I am shallow but it seriously was the reason I stopped seeing him . 

[sumthin28]

I would, if I thought she was worth it.  No amount of money owed would stop me from being with the right girl. When you have dated enough, and you realise how rare a true connection is(at least for me) then the value of that goes way the heck up.

[youdontkillmoney]

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@sumthin28 wrote:

I would, if I thought she was worth it.  No amount of money owed would stop me from being with the right girl. When you have dated enough, and you realise how rare a true connection is(at least for me) then the value of that goes way the heck up.

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^^^

Hypothetically, what if she keeps on spending and spending on expensive purses (Celine, Chanel, etc that are min. $2,500 each), diamonds, etc and doesn't listen to you so your paycheck is gone every pay period to pay credit card bills and you want to save to have extra cash and/or buy a home, and you are drained, do you think your feelings wil change after a period of time under these circumstances?