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If possible can you contact the CCCs and lower the cash advance amount to $0? It's a horrible way to borrow money with high fees and no grace period most of the time!
@wHiTeSoL wrote:If possible can you contact the CCCs and lower the cash advance amount to $0? It's a horrible way to borrow money with high fees and no grace period most of the time!
You're right. I don't see a reason to cash advance unless there's an emergency.
Do you think I can make the request online?
To everyone:
Thanks for your input. It's Thursday, and DH and I haven't spoken since Sunday. I work 12-hour shifts, and he works nights, so it isn't unusual that we don't see each other. But we just haven't talked. I'm so torn about what to do. I just paid the CC bills today and left his cash advance alone. I have kids and a house to take care of. He can worry about his bull. But I know I'm going to end up paying his CC anyway because his credit can't get messed up. Our anniversary is coming up this month, too. I had plans to take him to Baltimore to watch the Ravens beat the Jets, but now I don't want to spend the money. He just makes me so mad.
@Ravensfan2001 wrote:To everyone:
Thanks for your input. It's Thursday, and DH and I haven't spoken since Sunday. I work 12-hour shifts, and he works nights, so it isn't unusual that we don't see each other. But we just haven't talked. I'm so torn about what to do. I just paid the CC bills today and left his cash advance alone. I have kids and a house to take care of. He can worry about his bull. But I know I'm going to end up paying his CC anyway because his credit can't get messed up. Our anniversary is coming up this month, too. I had plans to take him to Baltimore to watch the Ravens beat the Jets, but now I don't want to spend the money. He just makes me so mad.
I'm sorry =(
Current: EQ FICO 0, TU FICO 0, EX FICO 0 | Starting Score: 0 (08/21/2013) Starting total revolving credit: $0 | Current total revolving credit: $1600.00 Inquiries (12 Months): EQ 3-4 TU Unsure EX Unsure | Most Recent: 8/19/2013 | Mechanically Sound Car | Fifth Third $300 U.S. Bank Harley Davidson $300 Capital One Platinum $500 2nd Capital One Platinum $500 |
Have you thought of contacting 1-888-BETS-OFF? Though it may not be the best idea to do it right away, I'd keep it as a possibility and have a serious financial discussion with him first. He likely doesn't see the harm he's causing... And he has the potential to cause significant financial damage to you and your family.
Edit: It may only be available in Missouri - google it and ttake a look at their site anyways as it does contain some good info.
I used to gamble with that reasoning. Personally, I'm a strong willed person and I was able to talk myself out of it by breaking down how much I was wasting, and how I was impeding my own success. However, its not that easy for everyone, Itll probably be tough; a serious recomendation I would make is to talk to his family about it if you are comfortable with them.
I also suggest playing casino like games at home, play poker with the chips, its just as fun and you don't go home empty handed.
Let him have the $100/week to gamble with if you are comfortable with that. Tell him that is all your family can afford. If he can't adhere to that, he either has a gambling problem that needs professional help or he doesn't value what you and the kids need in life, in which case kick him to the curb (sorry to sound so harsh).
I used to be like your husband, well I am like him since I could easily slip up whenever. We have a new mortgage, new car, and a kid together. I had horrible credit and gambling probably put me behind 20k in my 20s. The only way he's going to stop is if he wants to. I only stopped b/c of our child and desire for a home and a normal family life. Now my credit is in the 700s, and like I stated, we have a home and bought a car. I still have urges here and there, that I do fantasy sports and football pools to hold over that feeling of "action" and the "rush". Although, casino and sports gambling are a bit different. It probably doesn't help now that Maryland Live opened up, I know I want to go down there every day. You could police every dollar he has, and he'll find a way to get money for gambling. Gambling is as bad as drug addictions. They are extremely frugal with their money and will try ways to find extra money so they can save every last dollar for gambling.
You should have a sit down with him and let him know how you feel w/o seeming to be aggressive or on the attack. Let him know, you understand he has fun with it but he needs to be in a controlled enviroment. I used to gamble on sports online. Now I will do sports pools to appease my addiction and it'll do a decent job. It's 10 dollars a week and it makes me happy enough (coming from someone who used to gamble 1k on games). He probably plays table games, so if you could find him a home game... that would probably be best. Setting a limit can be dangerous. I know I'm not really into the casino, but the one time I went to Maryland Live, I would goto the cashier once I lost. Being at the casino is an extremely hard place for anyone to set a limit esp. someone with an addiction.
Since no one stated the obvious: OP should stop gambling, too.
@Jaguars28fan wrote:I used to be like your husband, well I am like him since I could easily slip up whenever. We have a new mortgage, new car, and a kid together. I had horrible credit and gambling probably put me behind 20k in my 20s. The only way he's going to stop is if he wants to. I only stopped b/c of our child and desire for a home and a normal family life. Now my credit is in the 700s, and like I stated, we have a home and bought a car. I still have urges here and there, that I do fantasy sports and football pools to hold over that feeling of "action" and the "rush". Although, casino and sports gambling are a bit different. It probably doesn't help now that Maryland Live opened up, I know I want to go down there every day. You could police every dollar he has, and he'll find a way to get money for gambling. Gambling is as bad as drug addictions. They are extremely frugal with their money and will try ways to find extra money so they can save every last dollar for gambling.
You should have a sit down with him and let him know how you feel w/o seeming to be aggressive or on the attack. Let him know, you understand he has fun with it but he needs to be in a controlled enviroment. I used to gamble on sports online. Now I will do sports pools to appease my addiction and it'll do a decent job. It's 10 dollars a week and it makes me happy enough (coming from someone who used to gamble 1k on games). He probably plays table games, so if you could find him a home game... that would probably be best. Setting a limit can be dangerous. I know I'm not really into the casino, but the one time I went to Maryland Live, I would goto the cashier once I lost. Being at the casino is an extremely hard place for anyone to set a limit esp. someone with an addiction.
That's one of the biggest issues - convenience to the casino. It's about a 40-minute drive for us. Plus, since the mall is right there, it's another reason to go.
DH hasn't really done anything since that cash advance. And it's paid now. He does his online Texas Hold Em thing, which distracts him. Plus, he misplaced his credit card. This ends up being a positive thing because when he receives the replacement, I can keep it. He never bothers getting the mail. One card is plenty for him.