OP, I do the same to my DH especially since we’re in the process of purchasing a home.
Arguing over money is not a new marital problem. You both have things going on that you’re focused on. I try to see it as we have each other backs. DH thinks I’m annoying and is a big frustrated at me.
This idea might help. I’ve learned to create my own spreadsheets on my credit data. I can mine it for information, input data, and use it to help me make decisions. I don’t feel the need to share all the info with DH because I have it recorded. And it’s helped me strategized. 14 months ago, I cried after being approved for a Cap One Platinum with SL of $500. Now we’re in contract the purchase a house conventional along with the additional cards in my siggy.
Find a system that works for you. Enjoy the kids. Happy wife happy life. Or in my case happy hubby happy life. 😉
Well, considering my SO uses Ibotta and Walmart Savings Catcher it not too hard to sell them on cards like Amazon Prime with 5%, 2%, and 1% cash back. We are currently reviewing the possibility of them getting a Citi DC for 2% cash back on everything else along with the sign up bonus currently offered.
I'm interested to hear what kind of deal the OP is getting that is worth the strain on their relationhsip? Do you pay the statements in full every month? Cash back isn't worth much if you're paying interest or fees.
Regarding my relationship finances, we keep everything seperate, it started that way while dating and it works for us the same down the road too. Also makes gift buying easier, lol.
What does DW mean?
DW= Dear wife DH= Dear Husband
I don't try to micomanage. Dw knows that certain regular bills go on certain cards. Amex BCP for grocery, US Bank cash plus utility, and eating out. BCP gas most of the time. Citi Dc misc. C1 QS for misc. Big Misc either BCP Amex or Disco due to limits.
I try to watch for shop with chase, Amex deals, and disco deals but I am not going to sweat. if I miss something. We earned well over $1K in cash back last year but its just extra play money. The world is not going to come to an end if charge is on inferior card.
Focusing on credit-related things isn't for everyone. We're [us forum members] in the minority here overall. All of us here get it, no doubt... but as for our partners? Not so much. My last relationship ended largely over money/finances. At the time we were together, both of us had low-mid 700 FICO scores. I spent a decent amount of time trying to get my Ex to focus on her credit, but she never had even a fraction of the interest I did. We ultimately split up anyway and she's been straddling 600 credit scores for the last year where hit my first 850 last week. It is what it is.
My wife is annoyed with my financial management. She's convinced we can afford more home than I do. I don't see how it's possible, given the numbers, which usually sets off some eye rolling and irritation about how others are doing with less so we should be able to.
Fortunately, we don't have any problems with credit cards. When it's her turn to buy, she'll usually use whatever card of hers is running a bigger promotion or higher award rate (5% groceries, for example). When it's my turn to buy, I follow my system with my cards. Everyone's happy.