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Daughter and her husband

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Backwoods
New Member

Daughter and her husband

My dear 40 year old is driving me crazy.   She is terrible at saving her husband mouches off his family. Daughter had good job paying $140,000 for last  year.  At end of year they illimanted her job.  She got new job paying $120,000 and two months later  they fired her for refusing to fire an emplyee simply because he was 65.   Her husband until January was only making  $40,000 now he  got   huge promotion to $85,000    She was floating his bills and making all house payments and house expenes.   As well as he rcar  payment.   He wont help her now with car house or her credit cards and just bought a new tesla .  She complains daily   She about to loose  car How do I covicence her to leave?  her car is 5 years years old is a small enconomy car.  All I hear is daily complaints but no action.   She starts a new job lower level week at $95,000     

Message 1 of 5
4 REPLIES 4
DR527
Regular Contributor

Re: Daughter and her husband

Once she leaves she will be paying him alimony. And possibly child support(if they have kids). Cheaper to keep him, as far as her money problems. I would stay out of if. She is a 40 year old woman, she's not 18. 

Message 2 of 5
GreatLife
Regular Contributor

Re: Daughter and her husband

Letting your daughter vent frustrations to someone she can trust is probably helping her more than you might realize. Lots of married folks complain about each other and still have love - at some point incessant ranting became a normal part of their relationship. A good reason not to interfere or give unsolicited advice in someone elses marriage. Continue providing emotional support for your daughter. Consider starting a secret money fund that could help financially if she ever decides to leave her husband.

Message 3 of 5
coldfusion
Community Leader
Mega Contributor

Re: Daughter and her husband

Divorces are expensive because they're worth it but DD is old enogh to make her own choices and face consequences. In general, MYOB.

 

You should map out in your own mind what support you're willing to provide such as contributing toward a divorce attorney's retainer (pay the attorney yourself directly) and/or letting her move back in with you temporarily if she helps with the cost of communal expenses but don't loan money for whatever reason with the expectation that you'll ever see any of it again.

 

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Artist formerly known as the_old_curmudgeon who was formerly known as coldfusion
Message 4 of 5
Backwoods
New Member

Re: Daughter and her husband

Thanks for all the replies.   What  I am going to do is search for divorce  attorneys in her state    She lives in another state.   Moving in with  in with us is out of the question.   Her skill skill set is very specialized and needed by Russell 2000 company  main office,    Where I live she would be very hard pressed to get a job with her skills and even then they migh pay $60,000 at best.   I will support her in what ever decision she makes. 

 

  This is my first time back since pandemic.   All my old badges and rank are gone.   The pandemic almost wiped us out.   The governmet quasi closed our type of business and kept saying any day now.   We are rebuilding with scores just under 700 with no deiquencies but high cranberry.           

Message 5 of 5
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