My wife and I have disparate incomes. What has worked for us is to simply pool everything in one account, and we discuss purchases that aren't neccessities over a certain amount, for us it's $50. I handle everything that comes out of the checking account so I always know what we have, she prefers it this way and doesn't like to discuss money. Her not knowing how much we have in our checking account means she is less likely to spend frivolously.
I suggest approaching a good local financial planner. They can perhaps help you determine your joint "goals" and a strategy to achieve them. Best of luck!!