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Do you and your SO have similar beliefs around money?

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PNWRambler
Regular Contributor

Re: Do you and your SO have similar beliefs around money?

Disagreements on money is one of the top causes of divorce, I think it should be brought up in a general sense (not specific numbers) very early on in the dating process. And discussed more thoroughly and specifically along the way.  The more your views differ, the more important this is.  If you live a debt-free "Dave Ramsey" lifestyle and your potential partner is a doctor with $650,000 in student loans, you don't want to wait to discuss this until you're married...  

 

This is what I did. We discussed, in a general sense, living below your means and planning for retirement and basic concepts pretty early on. A ways into the relationship we talked about ideal size of savings account, and our views on how to use debt and when it was appropriate (mortgage is fine, credit card debt isn't ideal, etc). By the time we were close to getting engaged we started to talk more specific numbers. And after getting engaged we did a mock up budget together, listed all our separate bills and expenses for each other, and discussed long-term financial goals.  We started sharing all the specifics and running larger purchases past each other. By the time we married and combined finances there were no surprises and it was a surprisingly smooth process. There were a few things we disagreed on in the early stages but we had plenty of time to see each other's point of view and find a place to meet in the middle before marriage & combining finances.

 

YMMV but I think this is the best way to handle things. Money is one of the top causes of divorce; I would personally wait to get married until I could manage to be on the same page about money.  

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