Do you ask your parents to pay you money back when they ask to borrow money?

[Anonymous]

Definetly would ask them to pay me back. My parents waste money on an opulent lifestyle, regardless they have never asked. I also agree with other posters that I don't lend money to anyone and do not cosign either. 

[sarge12]

I can never get my Mother to accept not paying me back, but I would prefer that she just accept it as a gift. She always says she does not want to take advantage of me. If I gave her 1000 dollars a month, I might get even with her for what she has given to me since I became an adult in about 10 years....maybe! No way I'll ever ask her to pay me anything back.

[IOBA]

I've shared some of my personal experiences with the "parents" on here.

By choice, the parents don't live within their means or manage their money well.  I won't go hungry again or rob Peter to pay Paul so they can keep watching cable.  Especially since cable is NOT in my budget!  They don't want me to know how they spend their money.  A recent example was they could not pay their cell phone bill.  Again.  Since the contract was up, I had suggested that I mail them my old phone and add them to my phone plan.  They would pay the $15 a month it would cost to have them on the phone plan [to me, automatic transfer].  We'd share minutes and data.  Nope.  Instead, she opted to go to her provide and beg for a lower rate.  She pays double (? - her bill was $60 a month, just talk) what should would have been paying on my cell plan.  Why?  Cuz she doesn't want me to know how she uses the cell phone.

It's really tough to live within my means and very challenging to stay on a cash basis and save some money.  But I do my best.  

What was the question again?  Would I ask them to pay me back?  No.  Would I loan them money?  No.  Would I help them find a way to take care of their bills?  Absolutley.  Have in the past and will again.  

The bank of IOBA has closed to family members.

[sarge12]

---

@IOBA wrote:

I've shared some of my personal experiences with the "parents" on here.

By choice, the parents don't live within their means or manage their money well.  I won't go hungry again or rob Peter to pay Paul so they can keep watching cable.  Especially since cable is NOT in my budget!  They don't want me to know how they spend their money.  A recent example was they could not pay their cell phone bill.  Again.  Since the contract was up, I had suggested that I mail them my old phone and add them to my phone plan.  They would pay the $15 a month it would cost to have them on the phone plan [to me, automatic transfer].  We'd share minutes and data.  Nope.  Instead, she opted to go to her provide and beg for a lower rate.  She pays double (? - her bill was $60 a month, just talk) what should would have been paying on my cell plan.  Why?  Cuz she doesn't want me to know how she uses the cell phone.

It's really tough to live within my means and very challenging to stay on a cash basis and save some money.  But I do my best.  

What was the question again?  Would I ask them to pay me back?  No.  Would I loan them money?  No.  Would I help them find a way to take care of their bills?  Absolutley.  Have in the past and will again.  

The bank of IOBA has closed to family members.

---

I think the answers here depend on the relationship between each person and their parents, as well as the responsibility of each individual and his or her parents. Some people do not have responsible parents, and some parents have self involved children who can hardly take care of themselves.

[IOBA]

Agreed.  

Financially irrresponsible people come in all ages.

Tough times hit people of all ages and circumstances.

My last "loan" to the folks was 5k.  They made promises to pay $100 a month until it was paid back.  I had to take out a loan to loan them the money.  (They knew that.)  Haven't seen a penny.  After that big one, there have been requests for smaller amounts...always a couple hundred plus.  I've said no.  And they have found the money in other places.

*sigh*  Wouldn't it be great if everyone was financially responsible??  The collection agencies would be out of a job.  People would be happier.    Well some people might be happier.  

[Gunnar419]

Agree with those who say "it depends."

If parents are irresponsible and taking money from their children to go on funding their irresponsibility, either don't loan to them at all or loan but make sure they understand they must pay back and do so on a schedule.

If parents are responsible people asking for money from their children for true emergencies or needs, then give.  And payback depends on the quality and established terms of the relationship.

[Thomas_Thumb]

It is a moot point for me as my parents are deceased. That being said, my parents provided for all their children and made personal sacrifices along the way. As a result I would feel obligated to take care of them - help with living/medical costs in whatever way was necessary, given I have the means to do so.

Financial gifts for parents - yes within reason. Loans, no - seriously, retired parents on fixed income with a loan re-payment plan?

I think it is tragic that many ailing and/or financially strapped parents are often left to fend for themselves - particularly if offspring have the means to help.

[Turbobuick]

Mine are also deceased, long ago. It's hard to imagine my folks borrowing from family as they always lived within their meager means.  Most of us 5 kids likely borrowed, and repaid, them at some point in our adult lives. Being children of the great depression, no doubt, helped teach them to spend wisely. I wouldn't have hesitated to give them whatever they needed and never would would expect repayment or spoke of it again.

[tcbofade]

Interesting question, and I think you'll find as many different answers as there are different people in the world.

I'm an odd duck, raised with THREE parents.  (Mother, Step-Father, and Father)...

...and I have three different answers for you. 

I have helped my mother too many times.  She's not good with money, and repayment is always an issue.

I helped my step-father many, many times.  Never had to ask for repayment, he paid me back promptly and in full on each occassion.  He's gone now, but if he were still here, I'd happily help him with dollars and not ask for repayment.

My Father asked me to help once.  I did.  He did pay me back...eventually.  Not sure I'll do that again.

[stellar]

Not all parents are created equal lol!  Not all parents truly provided for or raised their children or protected them.

I had horrible parents.  People who come from normal or good families cannot comprehend how awful some parents can be.

And there are certain people who are just leeches ready to take whatever they can get.  So don't loan them money.  Sometimes you have to let them learn hard lessons on their own.