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Do you give friends/family credit advice?

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Regular Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

When I was younger, I made irresponsible financial choices. Thing is, I always looked up to my Dad and I took some great financial advice from him (and later these forums) to really start getting my credit and finances on a good path. My Mom on the other hand, is extremely irresponsible with money to this day which, was one of the main reasons my parents ended up getting a divorce. 


I've tried giving my Mom some helpful advice on repairing her credit (which has been stuck in the low-mid 500's for 10+ years) and taking control of her finances. My Mom makes decent money, but still ends up just barely getting by without any ability to establish any long term savings (even taking out payday loans in the past). As soon as she has a little bit saved, she immediately spends it on a cruise vacation or, a new designer handbag / clothes. Everything substantial (home, car lease, etc.) is in her boyfriends name since she can't get an approval on her own. I express genuine concern to her, because she has no retirement savings or anything. If things were to ever turn sour (which, a couple times they have) with her boyfriend, she wouldn't have anything of her own to take with her and she wouldn't be able to finance a home, finance a car when her lease is up, and struggle passing credit checks for certain landlords. 


Yet anytime I express these concerns or try to offer helpful advice, she just rolls her eyes and says she'll be fine. I guess different people have different sets of priorities. Some people genuinely don't place any importance on financial health. I just don't want to see my Mom get stuck in a crappy situation due to her fianancial indifference. Yet the only way some people learn is to just fall hard and realize the impact then.



Message 41 of 84
Valued Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

Something that I've been thinking about recently is giving suggestions that are opposite than what I really mean. I've suggested a good local credit union (DCU) to a few friends. They have great rates plus provide a real EX score each month. Then they get a loan at a different back and pay more. I've given a few suggestions on how they can easily increase their scores by 10-20 points. 1 took the advice and saw that it worked. The other didn't do anything with it which is ok. Another friend has a 25 year old daughter that hardly has any credit. Just a car loan that her Dad co-signed for. She makes decent money too. I layed out a plan for her to get things rolling. Nothing. Oh well, as macuserftw mentioned (felllow Mac/Apple user here Smiley Happy ), some don't place any importance on financial health. And a lot of us probably haven't taken advice about things when others have offered it. 

Cap 1 - $23,000 / Lowe’s - $17,000 / Barclay Apple Rewards - $15,000 / Capital 1 - $15,000 / Walmart - $15,000
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EQ - 765 / TU - 761 / EX - 755
Message 42 of 84

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

Depends on the type of person. I am not going to tell someone irresponsible about maximizing point earns.

I am not wasting hours trying to convince a skeptic.

However, finding the responsible open minded friend or family member is a joy.

Hey do you want to take free vacations listen to this.....Lolz. I should get a commission for the amount of referrals I gave.

On a more serious note, I advise on how to maintain responsible credit or to recover from a bk. People who can't manage credit is usually a life style and spending issues minus emergencies.

So I try to address that first. But when you see a person turn credit responsible and show you there 700+ score after a bk. The tears
Message 43 of 84
Established Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

I give my kids and younger people advice. Older people refuse to listen. They think I am trying to tell them how to live their lives and they tell me they know what they are doing.


Despite my 35+ years financial background, I find most don't listen because they refuse to change the basic underlying spending problems and live within their means.

Message 44 of 84
Established Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

I wish I was raised to value credit when I was younger. My folks spent until everything was gone. Get paid and repeat. I have the hard way that credit, if used properly can help in many ways and keep thousand of dollars in your pocket yearly.
Message 45 of 84
Valued Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

The only time I give advice is based on experience and what I can back up lol.  I don't want anyone making credit decisions that could hurt them and I'm responsible for it.


Total Credit: $240,100Credit Utilization: 1%AAoA: 5 years, 7 monthsInstallments: Car Lease, Marcus LoanNegatives: 0

LOWES-35k | BOA-32.5k | AMEX-30k | DISC-27.1k | ALLIANT-25k | NFCU-25k | BARC-15k | BBUY-12k | CHASE-10k | WAL-10k | CITI-9.7k | PENFED-9.7k

Message 46 of 84
Valued Member

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

I've found a lot of the people I (want to) talk with are generally uninformed and don't care until it's too late..  I didn't know any better either when I bought my first house,  People I've tried to reason with in the past have jaded my future expectations so that I really don't bother unless they ask me first.  


And really it seems to go for any financial advice.  My parents have a "friend" that handles all of their retirement accounts.  They are mostly mutual funds with a 2.5-3.5% fee. I'm at a loss for how else to explain the fees to them.

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Message 47 of 84
Established Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

Those fees add up in ways that hurt. When my great aunt died, we calculate she spent over 375,000 in fees and the performance was nil with her financial manager. Well, she was hung up on names and prestige instead of performance.
Message 48 of 84
Established Member

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

I started off horribly for credit because of my mother. When i was 18 she used my card and never paid anything. I find out later that it was used and I had to pay. Made me aware of credit, but not enough to know how it worked. Fast forward  15 years later, my mom is in debt beyond belief and finally asks for help. She has 120,000 in collections because of life threatening issues and emergency surgeury. Hasn't looked at her credit score in 5 years. I look up her free credit report, 300. She FINALLY asks for advice.

Starting Score: 613
Current Score: 645
Goal Score: 720

Message 49 of 84
Frequent Contributor

Re: Do you give friends/family credit advice?

I give a lot of friends budgeting advice before I will give them advice about credit. Many times it leads to that anyway. 

I currently have a budgeting group online with about 600 members. We love to chat about budgeting. For me budgeting is a must. Your credit line won't always be there should something happen like (AA).  So learning how to control your money, pay off debts, save, and budgeting (spend within your means or lower) is very important. Then you can share credit details with them because their finances are in order. 


Family always wanted to borrow from us before. Now, I rarely share anything on facebook like I used to. I used to share my new toys, new stuff, new car or whatever. Now? I share nothing. I'm quiet and post one a week. It's better that no one knows anything.

Message 50 of 84
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