Ex-wife running up daughter's medical bills and I get stuck with paying

[valley_man0505]

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@Anonymous wrote:

 Also, if it does go to your credit report contact them and tell them the situation and after the bill is paid most of the time they will take a medical bill off your credit report.

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Up until now, that hasn't been too much of a problem.  I have had MANY of her med bills from when we were married removed from my report after I paid them.  However, there are two more now and the CA refuses to remove them even if I pay.  They keep telling me it is illegal for them to do that.  When I tell them that every other CA I have dealt with for similar medical bills has been willing to delete, they tell me I am lying. 

[GregB]

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@valley_man0505 wrote:

..... 

This may all end beeing a moot discussion anyway now--my ex is now in jail for a probation violation and will be there for at least a couple months.  I am using this opportunity to go for sole legal custody of our daughter.

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Let me preface this with "I'm in California. If you are in a different state the reality may be VERY different"

The biggest mistake I made during my 6-year divorce with huge expenses was: being the nice guy and not going after my ex for damages/custody/whatever when a stupid stunt put her in a bad position. The opportunities were numerous such as when she wanted to buy a house, needed money, got arrested, etc. Now that more than 90% of my total assets have been wasted, I realize that a divorce should be either completely amicable or completely ruthless.

If you have primary legal custody, you have more control. You can still be the nice guy and let your ex see your child whenever she wants. Just make sure to never say anything negative to your child about his/her mother.

The laws allow the irresponsible/idiot spouse to do tremendous damage to the responsible one. If you have a child together, you will NEVER be completely free from her stupidity. Do what you can to minimize the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Just wanted to say that whenever I've taken my oldest child to the ER (from my divorce) they always bill me. Which is fine. I think so far I have taken her 3 times since she was born, once while we were still married. He carries the insurance on her, but they've always billed the parent that accompanies the child. Maybe its a state by state thing, or hospital policy. That would suck though. Its 75 bucks a pop anytime I take one of the kiddos to the ER. I imagine you'd be paying something similar.

Some women are just vindictive (or crazy). Some men, too. Best of luck to you on getting custody.

[valley_man0505]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Just wanted to say that whenever I've taken my oldest child to the ER (from my divorce) they always bill me. Which is fine. I think so far I have taken her 3 times since she was born, once while we were still married. He carries the insurance on her, but they've always billed the parent that accompanies the child. Maybe its a state by state thing, or hospital policy. That would suck though. Its 75 bucks a pop anytime I take one of the kiddos to the ER. I imagine you'd be paying something similar.

Some women are just vindictive (or crazy). Some men, too. Best of luck to you on getting custody.

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Oh, they still BILL my ex-wife, but if she doesn't pay the bill, I am responsible.  That is part of the problem-she will give them her name and billing address and use my insurance card and I oftentimes won't even see the bill until it pops up in collections because the bill went to her.  In the end, even though the bill is in her name, they can still come after me for it.  I was told by the hospital, the insurance company, and an attorney that if insurance is used to cover part of a bill, the insurance holder is ultimately legally responsible for the unpaid portion that remains after insurance.