A great relationship in the making here on and out. We actually take it further in our case. We don't do gifts at all and haven't done it for years and we love it this way. Maturity in a relationship is a wonderful thing. It is about having good communication, being compatible financially and intellectually among other things. You seem to have a very good guy so take good care of him and treat him like the king he is. [ I mean king in a jovial way]
I definitely will!
For us, we don't tend to do gifts on traditional dates like birthdays, anniversary, Christmas, or Valentine's. We do, however, fantastically enjoy gifting each other out of the blue, when inspired/able. I agree compatibility is key. We've been together for nearly 2 years now and never did anything special for valentine's or anniversaries or anything. I'm just the type that doesn't pay much attention to that. He typically mentions it as a "significant' date is approaching, and the main thing that shuts him up is when I say "Babe, what all those people want on valentine's and anniversaries and such is the same kind of amazing affection, connection, and care that you give me loads of EVERY SINGLE DAY. I am not being short-changed here!"
He still grumbles about intentions to take me out on fancy date because I "deserve it", and then he goes and applies for jobs instead like he know he should LOL.
That is soo nice Batsy.... You have an amazing relationship..
This thread seemed an appropriate place to stick this:
My ring cost a grand total of $26, including shipping. I picked it out, after much agonizing. My partner said he'd get whatever I wanted. Anything I wanted. No matter how expensive. And after going to lots of jewelry stores, I realized what I wanted was something simple, cheap, and pretty. I wanted something that felt like "me". We bought it on Etsy. It's rose gold filled and sterling silver.
Feels like we're starting this thing off right, y'know?
I have been on both sides this issue. I was married for 22 yrs and we were not on he same page at all. We got paid and she went shopping, I then had to figure out how to keep the lights on. Went thorough BK, lost house to taxes, lots of baddies. Got divorced and the bleeding stopped but the damage was done.
Now remarried for 3.5 yrs and we are on the same page. Have some money saved, most of old debt paid, baddies are dropping off and I am rebuilding.
I will take being on the same page any day over the alternative.
I think it's important to recognize that this tradition of extremely expensive offerings for a hand in marriage came from dowries, a man was purchasing a woman.
Doing away with it, mutually, is fantastic.
No offense to anyone who adores this tradition, of course, and if you have disposable income, it may seem like pennies to the rest of us. It's all relative.
I think its also important to know that buying expensive diamonds for an engagement ring has only been a common thing for the past 100 years or so, and was primarily the result of a sales campaign by one particular dimamond seller. Think "Only men who dont really love their women don't buy large diamond enagement rings."
But, as you said... To each their own. Whatever makes the wife happy, while not forcing a change in yoru lifestyle to afford it.
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The main attention is not the cost of decoration. Many girls are happy with the wedding ring, twisted from the delay from champagne, the main thing is that they are loved.