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Family homes

Senior Contributor

Re: Family homes


If my parents were alive they would be living with me. I miss them dearly.

That was the sweetest thing I've read in a long time!  Made me cry cuz I totally get it!  Heart

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Message 11 of 19
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Family homes


They say home prices outgrow wages by a 10:1 ratio. I make a bit less than my father did in the early 1990s, but the same house he bought for 220k is seilling for 800k.  Very depressing to consider that if the trend continues I might never afford a home.

I'm not sure of the exact numbers, but wages in real dollars have been stagnant (and the minimun wage has actually decreased), which housing prices have greatly outpaced inflation.   Yikes.  


I think mutli-generational housing is certianly more common these days, not only for economic reasons but also for cultural reasons.   Many cultures have traditionally had 3 generations living under one roof, especially as grandparents can be a tremendous help for parents (and vice versa).   So I absolutely agree that more people should be open to the idea.   Ultimately, it boils down to what works best for each family.  

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Message 12 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: Family homes

I agree that multi-generational living is the way to go. We added a house to my parents original house and it has been a great arrangement. I pay 50% of the bills and mortgage so I don’t feel like a dead beat and they don’t feel as stressed over money. In a nearby neighborhood brand new houses are built with grandparents quarters included which to me speaks to the fact that more people are seeing multi-generation homes as an option.
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Message 13 of 19
New Visitor

Re: Family homes

I  think a  child staying at home can be very good......If the child is learning life's lessons.  If they listen to advice  and set goals and make steps to achieve them.  Building a strong family core is a valuable life  lesson.  But if they just live their and not learn and grow its very bad.  I think it makes them unable to function in the real world when the day comes.  (the snow flake generation).   I think every family member should have some kind of weight to carry in the household no matter what age.  So keep them home,  continued to mold them into strong  men and women.    Just my opinion.

Message 14 of 19
Regular Contributor

Re: Family homes

I have a concept brought to my attention by a dear friend of mine a few years ago. After his high school graduation his parents helped him get a full time job making $12/hr and made a deal with him he could continue to live at home as long as he paid $500 a month for living expenses which included food and amenities. He agreed as it was substantially cheaper than living on his own plus he had his own bedroom in the basement with a separate entrance so he basically had his own little apartment. Unbeknownst to him his father took his monthly payments and put them into a high interest savings. He was able to get better paying jobs and he now makes $50k a year. He lived with them until he turned 25 when he met the woman whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. They decided they wanted a home and a family and his parents told them they could live with them for a year paying the same $500 a month and build their savings to purchase a home. After the year was up they had about $10k saved at which point his father pulled him aside and opened up an account showing him a balance in excess of $55k explaining how it was his money to be used to purchase his home and he simply had been building it for his future. My friend said he just about had a heart attack and hadn't realized his father had taught him two important lessons. 1. Hard work pays off and 2. Financial stability can be secured while living at home. So instead of his father allowing him to blow all of his money foolishly he helped him save for his future home thinking he was paying rent. So he had $65k for a downpayment on their home and him and his wife now own their home and dont have to deal with the stress of a mortgage. He intends to do the same with his children and teach them the same lessons he learned.
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Message 15 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: Family homes

@ABCD2199 wrote:

So it really depends on the child, the parents, the opportunities and the responsibilities of all parties.



Message 16 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: Family homes

You aren't helping you children by keeping them at home.  You don't want them to be 40 and look back at their wasted life.  A year after college should be enough time to grow up and become an adult.  It was different when everyone lived on a farm and parents needed their children to help them run their farm.  However my mom lived on a farm and left home at 14 to work as her sister did the year before.  Didn't hurt them as they are in their mid 80's and doing fine.  

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Message 17 of 19
Frequent Contributor

Re: Family homes

^ how ignorant! I disagree completely. I don't make enough money to live on my own and would be homeless without my mom giving me a place to stay. Living at home is only really frowned upon in the United States where people are obsessed with keeping up with the Joneses. I lived overseas in a country with an abysmal real estate market where nobody rents. A small shoebox apartment cost over $1000000 with the exchange rate and the amount they get paid is not very much. And they have compulsory military service. Everyone in the entire country pretty much stays home after military service unless they have lots of money or a good job. I don't have either one and I think it's very ethnocentric to say parents aren't doing their kids any favors by keeping them at home. My mom is in her sixties and has over a hundred acres of property to maintain. Living at home allows her to live a longer and less painful life and allows me not to be homeless.

Must be nice to have it all figured out and be so independent and sure of yourself financially. That's not reality for the majority of people. Maybe lose the dickensian Scrooge mentality and have some empathy for other people.

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Message 18 of 19
Valued Contributor

Re: Family homes

Everytime I see some guy unable to find a girlfriend and they are approaching 30 it is because they are living with their parents and haven't grown up.

You can get a roommate if you cant afford a place of your own. Part of growing up is taking care of yourself. Anyway it isnt being a scrooge to tell you not to live at home after a certain age. You can make excuses but really the easy living with your parents as an adult is going to the less rewarding life. Nothing about keeping up with the Jonses it is called growing up.

If someone has a sick parent that they are caring for of course that is a different.
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Message 19 of 19
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