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Financial Deal Breakers

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ScoreSensei
New Member

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

It's interesting how financial compatibility is such a big deal in relationships these days.

Message 21 of 30
kczchwcz
New Visitor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@ScoreSensei wrote:

It's interesting how financial compatibility is such a big deal in relationships these days.



Women in the U.S. couldn't open bank accounts without a male co-signer until 1974, so to me, it makes sense that the issue of financial compatibility wouldn't start bubbling up until a while after that.

Message 22 of 30
Horseshoez
Senior Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@kczchwcz wrote:

@ScoreSensei wrote:

It's interesting how financial compatibility is such a big deal in relationships these days.



Women in the U.S. couldn't open bank accounts without a male co-signer until 1974, so to me, it makes sense that the issue of financial compatibility wouldn't start bubbling up until a while after that.


Sorry, gotta call B.S. on that; my grandmother was widowed during WWII and opened many bank accounts, and started several businesses on her own before she ultimately got remarried in the late 1960.  Then there was my grandmother's sister, never married, had several bank account dating back to the depression.

Chapter 13:

  • Burned: AMEX, Chase, Citi, Wells Fargo, and South County Bank (now Bank of Southern California)
  • Filed: 26-Feb-2015
  • MoC: 01-Mar-2015
  • 1st Payment (posted): 23-Mar-2015
  • Last Payment (posted): 07-Feb-2020
  • Discharged: 04-Mar-2020
  • Closed: 23-Jun-2020

 

I categorically refuse to do AZEO!

In the proverbial sock drawer:
Message 23 of 30
Thomas_Thumb
Senior Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

The equal credit opportunities act of 1974 ensured single, divorced and widowed women had the right to get bank accounts without a male cosigner. It also ensured women could get credit cards in their own name.

 

There was no law that said a bank could not provide women with bank accounts prior to this time. They just were not required to do so without cosign.

 

 

Fico 9: .......EQ 850 TU 850 EX 850
Fico 8: .......EQ 850 TU 850 EX 850
Fico 4 .....:. EQ 809 TU 823 EX 830 EX Fico 98: 842
Fico 8 BC:. EQ 892 TU 900 EX 900
Fico 8 AU:. EQ 887 TU 897 EX 899
Fico 4 BC:. EQ 826 TU 858, EX Fico 98 BC: 870
Fico 4 AU:. EQ 831 TU 872, EX Fico 98 AU: 861
VS 3.0:...... EQ 835 TU 835 EX 835
CBIS: ........EQ LN Auto 940 EQ LN Home 870 TU Auto 902 TU Home 950
Message 24 of 30
IsambardPrince
Established Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@Citylights18 wrote:

Article on Yahoo talking about how personal loans are a big detail in dating.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comes-dating-earning-less-30-091144167.html

 

I guess I'm not seeing how someone having a personal loan is a big turnoff. Personal loans are usually for very productive reasons. 


Discover reached out to us with an offer today.

 

Apparently, you can get a personal loan to cover vanity plastic surgery, adoption, and IVF, but not a car that can get you to work and back and bring home food.

 

Very productive loans.

Message 25 of 30
IsambardPrince
Established Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@FireMedic1 wrote:

Hi. My name is FM1. You are? Nice to meet you. Your very attractive. Single? Why yes. Would you like to go have lunch one day on the beach? Sure! Noon at Joes Crab Shack? Sounds great! Bring your MyFICO 3B report. 750's your in. 500's. Had a great date. Nice company. Had fun. Next. Smiley Very Happy

cs.JPG


I was bankrupt when I got married. Bankrupt and facing legal problems.

 

I'm better now. You know, if my spouse had judged me based on one moment in my life, they would have tossed a perfectly good man away who has always had their back and made sure that they got everything they needed and built us both up.

 

Not everything is what it looks like.

 

You can come across a person who has an 850 FICO that's a complete......Psycho? The High FICO Psycho. Turns out the guy is a gigantic fake and a con man who is living on debt and it all comes unraveled soon after you marry. Smiley Happy

 

It's not unheard of.

 

A year before that mess I had an 806 FICO and nothing going wrong. What if we met then? Would I pass at that point? A year later my FICO score was 492. Today it's 711. I mean, these are just numbers that can end up anywhere depending vaguely on what's going on that moment.

 

The way a lot of people care about their FICO is temporarily while they spend a few years sweeping everything under the rug to get a mortgage and then it all goes bad again.

 

It doesn't surprise me that as people fail financially a lot, their FICO scores have never been higher.


Every year, things get worse and FICOs get higher. Why?

 

Well, for one thing, the industry tried to spend forever making sure the consumer never knew what was on their credit report, or their score, or in a position to challenge anything. Now everyone knows more than ever about what goes into a score and can get regular credit updates and sit there and watch it and dispute things, and work the system so it looks like they're effectively managing trade lines.

 

I mean, Thufir Hawat in Dune (1984) said, "The first step in avoiding a trap, is knowing of its existence." Back in the day, if someone said something bad about you on your credit report and it was wrong, you didn't even know it was there or how to fight it.

 

Today, even with my bankruptcy crap, I went down the list going "This is wrong, that's wrong, that's illegal, this is wrong. That's wrong."

 

Lenders put down a lot of sloppy things on negative information, including incorrect removal dates, illegal post-bankruptcy reporting, you name it. And it has absolutely increased my credit score to fight back and make them correct it.

Message 26 of 30
IsambardPrince
Established Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@Thomas_Thumb wrote:

The equal credit opportunities act of 1974 ensured single, divorced and widowed women had the right to get bank accounts without a male cosigner. It also ensured women could get credit cards in their own name.

 

There was no law that said a bank could not provide women with bank accounts prior to this time. They just were not required to do so without cosign.

 

 


Yeah, the United States has basically been the Republic of Gilead within my mother's lifetime, and the last elements of that were disappearing when I was a child.

 

Some people want that to come back. I won't name names, but you know who you are.

Message 27 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Where's my dinner

Message 28 of 30
Minimalist
Valued Member

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

I wonder about anyone amongst this group that 'NOT' using credit cards is a red flag.  I remember reading about such a demographic a while back, they'd seem like a decent fit on these forums. Smiley Very Happy

 

As long as they are financially secure, live below their means, and not looking for a sugar daddy I'm not super picky otherwise. Credit cards aren't a deal breaker as long as it's not 10 or more, then we'd have to micromanage their credit card usage, which is no bueno!

 

Minimalist's Rules:
1. Finances Before FICO
2. No AZEO
3. No Churning
4. No more than 1-2 cards
5. $100k in the bank is worth more than $100k CL
6.Cash is still king

"Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but having few wants." - Epictetus

"The rich rule over the poor, and the debtor is slave to the lender." - Proverbs 22:7
Message 29 of 30
Buzzybee34
New Member

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

This is an interesting thought at my current standing. When I was in my twenties, I wouldn't have cared because cash was king and I didn't even need a bank account. Much less a credit card. 

Now that I'm 34 and my immediate goals include building or buying a dream home with my husband for our family so that we have a home that's paid off at retirement and something to pass down, it would definitely matter if things got serious. 

If someone is bad with their money at my age or older, it's a habit. If someone is bad at money and credit in their early to mid 20s, they're still learning and I wouldn't care as much. 

I think the more important questions at the beginning, if you're on the prowl for a spouse, are values, morals, goals, past relationships and children, education, and relationship expectations (want kids?, have kids?, want to live in another state?, do you allow your family to be over involved in your relationship?, are you not involved with your family at all?, etc).

I'm glad I'm not dating. I've been with my husband every day of almost 12 years and we are still madly in love. I was 23 when we met. He was 29. We both had bad pasts and bad credit. We had the same goals for life and expectations for how a relationship would go for each of us, ideally. We built our lives together and now own a home, have college educations, have a fantastic 10 year old boy that we live for, and have built our credit from poor (580) to very good/excellent (760 to 800 between the two of us) in 2.5 years. 

What made all the difference was that we had the same beliefs about life goals and how a relationship would go. We had both been in relationships where our partners thought we were possessive and jealous because they valued their nights out drinking at bars (single behavior) and privacy online. We felt those things were risky behavior that often leads to cheating, and since we both had those beliefs, it worked out fabulous. That's just an example. 

However, as I said. I think this topic varies in importance by age and only if you intend to look for your life partner. 

That's my two cents. 

Message 30 of 30
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