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Financial Deal Breakers

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Citylights18
Valued Contributor

Financial Deal Breakers

Article on Yahoo talking about how personal loans are a big detail in dating.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comes-dating-earning-less-30-091144167.html

 

I guess I'm not seeing how someone having a personal loan is a big turnoff. Personal loans are usually for very productive reasons. 

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Message 1 of 24
23 REPLIES 23
MarkintheHV
Frequent Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Interesting.....  Personally, I refuse to get into any financial discussions until things start getting serious.  Unless we are looking at marriage then it remains none of her business.  If we were to be mulling cohabitating, all that she needs to know is that I can pay my portion of the bills.

 

If my salary is a deal breaker as far as dating goes, then to me that is a big red flag.  She should be dating me for what I am, not what my bank accounts look like.

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Message 2 of 24
Citylights18
Valued Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@MarkintheHV wrote:

Interesting.....  Personally, I refuse to get into any financial discussions until things start getting serious.  Unless we are looking at marriage then it remains none of her business.  If we were to be mulling cohabitating, all that she needs to know is that I can pay my portion of the bills.

 

If my salary is a deal breaker as far as dating goes, then to me that is a big red flag.  She should be dating me for what I am, not what my bank accounts look like.


Yeah. I just feel like if there is no common vison around the relationship there is really no point to becoming concerned about finances.

 

Depends on how they are approaching it too. If they are approaching the relationship like they want a piece of the bank account or if they are approaching it like their finances are their own problem.

 

I had one where the problem was she needed to be constantly contained rather work on needs for the household. When she left I knew it gave me time to finish up the house and give other personal matters the attention it deserved. Some people don't understand the concept of approaching a relationship as a team.

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Message 3 of 24
Brian_Earl_Spilner
Credit Mentor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@Citylights18 wrote:

Article on Yahoo talking about how personal loans are a big detail in dating.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comes-dating-earning-less-30-091144167.html

 

I guess I'm not seeing how someone having a personal loan is a big turnoff. Personal loans are usually for very productive reasons. 


Most people take out personal loans for frivolous things. At least, just about everyone I've ever known. Project cars, ATVs, extravagant vacations. Some took them out to pay down debt, then ran up the cards again. HELOCs weren't much better. Started with good intentions, then they got a new trailer with some sea-doos plus what's a renovation without an 80" tv and full surround sound. The kitchen can wait.

    
Message 4 of 24
CreditCuriosity
Moderator Emeritus

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Honestly I wouldn't really want to date someone that has financial issues or big financial burdons as I don't want to inherit those if it was to get serious and wouldn't get serious with someone that doesn't have their financial house in order and is carrying alot of debt whether personal loans, cc or combination of them or other things.  Just my personal opinion.  You don't want to have the talk right off, but eventually you need to know someones financial situation eventually and hopefully they are honest to you.

Message 5 of 24
EAT_SLEEP_JEEP
Valued Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:

@Citylights18 wrote:

Article on Yahoo talking about how personal loans are a big detail in dating.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comes-dating-earning-less-30-091144167.html

 

I guess I'm not seeing how someone having a personal loan is a big turnoff. Personal loans are usually for very productive reasons. 


Most people take out personal loans for frivolous things. At least, just about everyone I've ever known. Project cars, ATVs, extravagant vacations. Some took them out to pay down debt, then ran up the cards again. HELOCs weren't much better. Started with good intentions, then they got a new trailer with some sea-doos plus what's a renovation without an 80" tv and full surround sound. The kitchen can wait.


While im sure there are exceptions and not everyone does it, this has been my experience also. Done it personally in the past when i was still doing dumb things and everyone I knew that was doing it at the time were all doing it for the same reason, To buy crap we didn't have the money to buy otherwise...

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Message 6 of 24
TheRedHat
Established Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Can't really have fun with someone who is constantly living paycheck to paycheck and has a lot of debt to pay. It's not so much how much they make than how they manage their finances. I want to enjoy my life and do fun things. That usually costs money. I never liked the idea of "vacationing on a budget." So even though money is okay for me at the moment, I'm not dating anyone until I finish paying off all my debts. It is so much better that way.

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Message 7 of 24
iced
Valued Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers


@EAT_SLEEP_JEEP wrote:

@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:

@Citylights18 wrote:

Article on Yahoo talking about how personal loans are a big detail in dating.

 

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/comes-dating-earning-less-30-091144167.html

 

I guess I'm not seeing how someone having a personal loan is a big turnoff. Personal loans are usually for very productive reasons. 


Most people take out personal loans for frivolous things. At least, just about everyone I've ever known. Project cars, ATVs, extravagant vacations. Some took them out to pay down debt, then ran up the cards again. HELOCs weren't much better. Started with good intentions, then they got a new trailer with some sea-doos plus what's a renovation without an 80" tv and full surround sound. The kitchen can wait.


While im sure there are exceptions and not everyone does it, this has been my experience also. Done it personally in the past when i was still doing dumb things and everyone I knew that was doing it at the time were all doing it for the same reason, To buy crap we didn't have the money to buy otherwise...


Also agree. I don't know anyone who has a personal loan for a good reason. It's invariably some pursuit of frivolous luxury in an attempt to impress their friends and neighbors...or to pay off debt they accrued via credit cards in pursuit of frivolous luxury in a past attempt to impress their friends and neighbors.

 

As such, it is something that could very much be a dealbreaker for me were I to date someone in this situation. It reveals a larger problem -- lack of delayed gratification and poor impulse control. Both of those are weaknesses that bleed into many aspects of a relationship that would inevitably negatively impact them, me, and the relationship.

Message 8 of 24
iced
Valued Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Also, where's Gen X in this study? They cover Boomers, Milennials, and Gen Z, and the forgotten generation is -- as usual -- forgotten.

Message 9 of 24
FireMedic1
Community Leader
Mega Contributor

Re: Financial Deal Breakers

Hi. My name is FM1. You are? Nice to meet you. Your very attractive. Single? Why yes. Would you like to go have lunch one day on the beach? Sure! Noon at Joes Crab Shack? Sounds great! Bring your MyFICO 3B report. 750's your in. 500's. Had a great date. Nice company. Had fun. Next. Smiley Very Happy

cs.JPG


Message 10 of 24
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