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Financial situation between former friends

New Member

Financial situation between former friends

Hey everyone. Just for a little discretion, this isn’t about credit cards or scores or anything like that. I’m more so writing this for advice or just to hear someone else’s personal experiences with this, just so I know I’m not the first person this has happened to. My name is Jared and I have a disorder called autism. I’m very high functioning and have a job as a cashier at a skiing and hiking store, as well as being a student at the local community college. But I’m not very far from being considered normal. (please forgive me, but just for my own benefit, I’m going to be referring to someone who does not have autism as “normal” even though I myself am adverse to that type of terminology). My co-worker who I’ve worked with and known for 2 years is my age and for the last 2 years, has been one of my best friends. He is dyslexic and claims one of his best friends is autistic, though besides the diagnosis of dyslexia, he is “normal.” The other day, we had a falling out when he said autism isn’t “real” is just an “excuse” for people to act like a$$holes. Obviously, I was offended by this, as I’m actually an advocate for children on the spectrum. I attend hearings and meetings and I speak in front of crowds of people about my goals and aspirations and how I got to where I am. He continued throughout the day and I just had enough and I laid my hands on him. Not a great decision, I’m aware, but he said things to me no ones ever said before. Frankly, I feel horrible even typing these words. I held him by the collar of his shirt and told him not to say another word. I pushed him away and he snickered, obviously implying he was safe and did not feel threatened in any way. He then reported me and I’m currently serving a 2 day unpaid suspension, while my supposed “best friend” gets off scot free. Honestly, I don’t care about that. I know who I am and I know who he is, even though he doesn’t know who I am. I’ve been in the process of searching for other jobs anyway, though I know it’s still good to leave a job on a good note. I ended up blocking this person on all social media and his phone number. (Now, here’s where we start to get at least a little bit financial). 2 weeks prior to this, we had a bet together regarding something at work. The bet was 10 dollars, which I won. He “conveniently” doesn’t carry cash on him, which is fine because we both use Venmo and he could’ve sent me the money in seconds. In 2 weeks, he’s had several opportunities to do this because he’s even Venmo’ed me since then from other occasions. In the past 2 weeks, he’s been offering “trades” such as an crappy old speaker I don’t want, multiple gift cards, some with 3.48 to amazon and some with 2.59 to Starbucks, and he’s offered taking 10 dollars off the ticket price of a baseball game we were supposed to go to together. Needless to say, I don’t plan on going anywhere with him. I don’t want him as my friend. I barely want him as my co-worker. Honestly, the 10 dollars is all I care about because as far as I’m concerned, those 1000 pennies are worth more to me than he ever was. He now refuses to pay me and claims that I should owe HIM money for his suffering. *rolls eyes* This boy (notice I’m choosing to call him a boy because, even though he is 19, he is far from a man) was one of the best wrestlers in New England in his weight class last season. Sorry, but I have trouble believe he suffered too much, especially after that snicker he gave when I let go. I will not try to defend what I did, but that has nothing to do with a bet placed 2 weeks before this alteration. I know I will probably never see those 10 dollars. I am grateful, however, that it was a bet, so I’m not losing anything, and I can’t do to the small count because it’s a 25 dollar filing fee, so obviously, especially because I don’t have any sort of proof, it would definitely not be worth it. In all honesty, I don’t even want his money. I was going to donate it just because I don’t want a bill that once belonged to him in my wallet. The principals still remain however that we shook hands and agreed like a pair of gentlemen, but he obviously isn’t ready to do the same.

And if you’ve read through my whole rant, thank you very much and I really do appreciate it. I’m just wondering if anyone has any thoughts on this or their own personal experiences in a similar situation. Yes, I know I shouldn’t have put my hands on him, even if I wasn’t going to harm him, so it’s really unnecessary for the both of us if you comment that. But if you do have anything constructive or even just want to go on a rant of your own, please be my guest. Thanks again for reading and have a great rest of your day!
Message 1 of 7
6 REPLIES
Frequent Contributor

Re: Financial situation between former friends

Just my 2 cents...

 

Walk away from the things in life that cause you stress and walk towards the things that make you happy.

 

I think you're focusing on the ten bucks because it represents the hurt you feel on losing a friend. Principles are only worthy when we ourselves uphold them. Imposing them on others will only cause you frustration. 

 

I've been burned by friends, family and lovers in my 56 years on this planet and each time, in the hope of making good from bad, I've counted it as a lesson learned. I encourage you to do the same. =)

 

Luck to you =)

 

Message 2 of 7
Moderator

Re: Financial situation between former friends

You are an Aspberger so am I. Walk away, it will hurt him more in the long run than you, hold no animosity towards him or you defeat yourself.


"If there's a lack of money in your life, understand that feeling worried, envious, jealous, disappointed, discouraged, doubtful or fearful about money can never bring more money to you, because those feelings come from a lack of gratitude for the money you have."

"Reactions are powerful creators because they contain every element needed to manifest—they're a combination of thought, belief, and feeling in action. Positive reactions create more positive things, and negative reactions create more negative things. If you can respond to negative situations calmly and lightly, instead of with emotional turbulence, what happens next in your life will be so much better."

- Rhonda Byrne

Message 3 of 7
Regular Contributor

Re: Financial situation between former friends

It is nice that you are able to post here in this forum.

 

But please, forget 100% of the bet. walk away.


From here on out, do not communicate with him other than needs for the job requirements.

You do not want anything to get out of control.

If there is anything that continues or any "teasing", be proud and strong and let it go...do not fall for the jokes.

And anything in the future, let any manager or boss know of what is going on. That is needed.

 

Do not associate yourself with those tyes of people, or you will be one yourself.

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Message 4 of 7
New Contributor

Re: Financial situation between former friends

Yeah here's some advice. It's 10 bucks, move on dude. its trivial amount of money. Look, he sounds like he could be a jerk. Welcome to real life, jerks are around. Just let it go

 

<mod edited: to tone down your comment.  --CC>

Message 5 of 7
Regular Contributor

Re: Financial situation between former friends

$10 just isn’t worth it. The advise to walk away is good. He isn’t a friend. If he valued your friendship he would have paid. He reneged on a bet. It happens. I hope you find that new job. Then you won’t have to worry about being around this person. Think of it this way, you never had that extra $10. So it isn’t a loss if he doesn’t pay. It’s just not a gain.



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Message 6 of 7
Established Contributor

Re: Financial situation between former friends

While it's hard cut yourself off he or she isn't worth your energy. Heart

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Message 7 of 7