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Flying for love...

Frequent Contributor

Flying for love...

Hey guys, so I'm 26, from Cali, met this chick from a dating site but yeah she's from MS. Now, I don't understand I looked from flying Southwest going to New Orleans, okay $300 or so makes sense. However, when I tried to fly from there to MS, they want another $350+, but its only 4 hrs away, I don't understand. I might as well fly from SFO straight to MS for $350+...

Also, how do I get her on the same plane as me sitting next to me? Its been a very long time since I flew.
Could I have her pay for her own ticket and also tell her the seating aisle and that way she could sit next to me or do I have to pay for her and myself on the same ticket?
If I do a RT, it would be cheaper than to go one way, but a coworker was telling me do a one way from Cali to MS, and then a one way back, that's so expensive... and if I do a RT, and she does a one way, would she be able to be on the same plane as me?

So her situation is she's scared of flying, rollercoasters, anything to do with heights. She wants me to fly to her and we go back together to Cali, she doesn't even want to move here since she says its expensive and all that stuff. She doesn't want to take the bus or train cause she wants me to be with her. What should I do? Thanks!
Message 1 of 11
Valued Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

Okay, this is a bit different, but I'll give my thought. I also have never been on a plane, so I can't really give you much there with the exception of saying yes, the $350+ to MS would seem more financially effective.

Now to the woman involved here. What stood out to me when reading this is that while I can see that she is really into you, according to what you said, everything is geared towards her. There is nothing wrong with wanting to go out of your way for someone, especially as a man. However, there is something to be said for both people making some sacrifices to make it work.

Everything you brought up about meeting her and beyond either involves you taking action, or it being more of a headache because of something she likes/doesn't like or will do/won't do. Guess what that leads to again? You going out of your way. Also, the biggest thing is that at the end, you mentioned her not wanting to move or stay in Cali after all of that. Guess what???? .......You got it!! You end up on the hook again to make a move for it to work.

What I am saying is there needs to be some level of compromise and sacrifice between the both of you. You also need to weigh out how worth it this is because the truth is you can do all of this out of the way stuff on your end, only for it to not work out. It's very risky. If she truly wants it to work as well, you will see her willing to go out of her least a little.


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Message 2 of 11
Frequent Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

Hahah, yeah you're right bro lol, I mean I tell her come to Cali temporarily and I told her about how expensive it is here but also living here all my life nothing really happens here as far as earthquakes, maybe once in a blue moon there are earthquakes, just recently we had a wildfire but its not worst as other places that has snow, floods, etc. Man, I feel like I'm doing way too much, going above and beyond for her, and she tells me that she works full time, but help her mom out, her dad is out of the picture and she is broke so I don't know what else to do. She doesn't even have a car. Mind you that, there's some people younger than her traveled alone, but I don't understand why she wouldn't want to go alone, I would even pay for her trip to come here but it seems a lot of a hassle too. 


Eventually, I do want to move out of California. I just don't see myself living here, we are just paying for the weather here and to start a business, the state wants $800/y which is insane, the laws here and people here I just can't do it anymore. What really scares me the most is me traveling over there and she never shows up... 

Message 3 of 11
Valued Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

That last sentence, exactly lol! I believe if you choose to get involved in this situation, you are looking a putting a lot of $$$ into it. Plus, back to her, you don't know how for real she is. She just may be trying to latch onto you because she thinks she can.

Another interesting thing here is being that these forums overall deal with finances, credit, and so on, I think you run a risk long term of potentially getting into credit problems over the situation. Not saying you would, but how many times do we hear a mon or woman dedicated themselves to someone, then it gets so dip that they start spending money they don't have. Or they completely screw up the budget they once followed. All for someone who ended up not appreciating it.

It's up to you. I say if you can't help it and want to at least meet her once, pay close attention to her actions and be very protective of yourself. You'll then get a quick lesson on what her thought process is. Then, you can bail out if need be, but it was only 1 visit and 1 set of expenses. You can just charge that to the game!

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Message 4 of 11
Established Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

My flying notes:


Smaller airports are more expensive.  Might be cheaper to fly somewhere further away and rent a car.


Don't book online. Find the flights you want and book on the phone.  A agent will be able to book a round trip and a one way on the same itinerary and reserve seats next to each other.


Use google flights to find the cheapest option across carriers.  SW might not be the cheapest choice.


Don't buy "economy basic", it might save you 50-100 monies, but will make it much harder to sit together.


Message 5 of 11
New Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

A couple of things:

1) airline fares are not rational from a perspective that flights are priced based on distance. Flight pricing has much more to do with competive situations, city pairs with lots of competition are generally cheaper than ones with only a single airline. Non-stops are often more expensive than taking a connection since many flyers consider them more desirable and are willing to pay more. Round trips are often cheaper than flying one direction only since the latter are purchased more by business travelers who are generally less price sensitive than tourists.


2) Sitting together depends on the airline, but Southwest is one of the easiest. They do not assign seats in advance, you pick any open seat when you board. Boarding positions are assigned by check in time. If you are in the A or B groups, you should be able to find two seats together, if you are in the C group, your chances go down. Check in online exactly 24 hours before flight time and you'll get an A or low B position. On other airlines unless you buy far in advance you might not find two seats together unless you pay extra for "premium" seats that generally offer a little more legroom.


3) as far as the relationship in general - YMMV, but I'd look for someone closer to home.

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Message 6 of 11
Frequent Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

Well one option would be, fly to her and rent a car and drive back together. You could still get the RT ticket, because I would guess she will need to get back to MS at some point, so will need driving back. That drive will certainly give you enough time together, you should know all there is to know by the time you get to your destination.

Message 7 of 11
Frequent Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

Thank you all for the advice, unfortunately it didn't work out, a lot of trust issues and whatnot but honestly I would never move for a girl, and I'm in a state where its fast pace, I don't want to go to a slow state 😂 lol.
Message 8 of 11
Super Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

You need to find the smallest and most bumpy flight you can so you can rescue her while you are flying and let nature take it's course.


Seriously, as long as I could find a good job with work I like, I would have no problem moving for love since as much as I hate moving, I could always move back if things didn't work out and maybe I would like the new job and area better then the old one.  You never know.

12/19/2018: FICO 838 EQ 830 TU 827 EX
Message 9 of 11
Valued Contributor

Re: Flying for love...

@Kree wrote:


Don't book online. Find the flights you want and book on the phone.  A agent will be able to book a round trip and a one way on the same itinerary and reserve seats next to each other.


-1. Booking over the phone is often significantly more expensive (and never cheaper).


Others have already discussed the relationship side of this whole scenario. None of us know her as well as OP, so I won't get into that. (But do be careful -- my LDR didn't work out.)


While you should comparison shop, SWA would be a good option because of their open seating policy, if you're making your reservation separate from hers. (If she's not willing to pay for at least her flight, that's a red flag...) Pay for the Early Bird check in ($15-25 per) and you'll both likely be among the "A" group. (The first 45-60 people after wheelchairs, etc.) You can both board together with the latter of the two and sit together wherever is open.

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Message 10 of 11