@iced I don’t understand why you don’t understand my statement about the house. No where did I say there would be no discussion but if I make more I might want a nicer house than my husband may afford so we would decide how we would handle it whether it means me paying a higher portion of the mortgage.
I read "Say your wife wants a certain type of house that would ordinarily be out of your budget, how can you possibly split the mortgage and other household bills 50/50 without draining your paycheck every month with little money left over for savings and other misc. items you may want to purchase?" as the wife putting her partner in an uncomfortable position by asking he/she pay 50%, which is unaffordable in this case.
In other words, I think that this situation wouldn't have happened in a healthy relationship because either:
1. The wife would have offered up-front to pay a larger percentage if the partner agreed to the home purchase (thus never having to consider splitting 50/50), or
2. The wife backed off on the house idea once the partner expressed discomfort with being able to make their share of the payment and/or discomfort at the wife wanting the more expensive type of home.
Easy question have sep. accounts and one main account for shared expenses less headaches.