How to handle child support?

[Creditplz]

Hey everyone, I come to you all with some sad news on my behalf... me and DW are going to be separating after 15+ years together. 

I met her in college my freshman year and I've loved her ever since... she did well and she went on to be a doctor that im very proud of.. I love her with all my heart and well this is where it gets tricky, we are welcoming our very first child in March!! A little baby girl Im already a proud dad. 
My income is roughly 1.6M for this last year and her income is $290k, Ive already expressed that I would like joint custody, even if it's supervised. 
I've offered her $5000/mo while I take care of our marital home bills and childcare/medical expenses, her response was that she wants to go to court, I am trying to handle this amicablely, without the need for court intervention.. 

Has anyone been through something like this before? How do you guys handle this?.

[JoeRockhead]

While I can empathize with what you're dealing with, I've also often said no matter how great a relationship once was, or seemed to be... you never really know someone until you divorce them... you're about to experience that. 

I've experienced both avenues by way of two divorces. The common denominator... a great attorney.  

[dfwxjer]

Oh man, that's not how things work... 

You're offering her .3% of your annual gross income. Most states have guideline child support set at 20% of your *gross* income. The majority of the time you'll be on the hook for that AND medical insurance. 

You're looking at over $25k a month in guideline child support. This is calculated on your pre-tax income and is paid from your post-tax income. She will receive the child support tax free in it's entirety. 

I would recommend hiring the best attorney you can, and prepare for this to get ugly fast. Remind yourself daily that she's no longer your friend, and whatever lingering feelings you have for her are no longer valid. Enter in to this like a business transaction and remove the emotion from it. 

[USMCOne]

First take the advice of the other poster "she's no longer your friend". Take it from one who has gotten a divorce its about to get nasty if everything you say is true. You also can't prevent her from going to court. Your firewalls have been breached on this and its every person for themselves at this point.

In regards to your 5k a month. I make substainially less a month and pay about 2000 a month in child support. The formulas they use are pretty simple and they will apply this like a Vulcan with pure logic. In my case they used the last 3 years income average and came to a determination based on income.

The other thing is you have been married for quite sometime. You will have to split many assets. Just the reality of this. It will be long and a slug fest. 5k and what your offering is a joke. Not when you can get 25k a month, everything your offering and a sizeable amount of your assets. Because the baby is young you will have till the age of 18 or graduation of highschool in paying this.

Welcome to the suck my friend. You will make it though plenty of us have.

[Creditplz]

I sent this to my attorney cause I was shocked at the number, 20% does not apply in my state (CA), but I'm looking at 8-10k unfortunately, since we are sharing 50/50 custody, I own a development company and my income fluctuates while she's salaried..

Attorney advised me to keep CC's active, not to be seen as financial abuse... and well, she spent 27k on AMEX this cycle + requested $6000/mo for a nanny since her maternity leave ended. All while I still pay all the bills, it seems like the abuse is what I'm receiving

[JoeRockhead]

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@Creditplz wrote:

I sent this to my attorney cause I was shocked at the number, 20% does not apply in my state (CA), but I'm looking at 8-10k unfortunately, since we are sharing 50/50 custody, I own a development company and my income fluctuates while she's salaried..

Attorney advised me to keep CC's active, not to be seen as financial abuse... and well, she spent 27k on AMEX this cycle + requested $6000/mo for a nanny since her maternity leave ended. All while I still pay all the bills, it seems like the abuse is what I'm receiving

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If you haven't considered it already,  I'd seek the opinion of another attorney.

[indiolatino61]

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@Creditplz wrote:

Hey everyone, I come to you all with some sad news on my behalf... me and DW are going to be separating after 15+ years together. 

I met her in college my freshman year and I've loved her ever since... she did well and she went on to be a doctor that im very proud of.. I love her with all my heart and well this is where it gets tricky, we are welcoming our very first child in March!! A little baby girl Im already a proud dad. 
My income is roughly 1.6M for this last year and her income is $290k, Ive already expressed that I would like joint custody, even if it's supervised. 
I've offered her $5000/mo while I take care of our marital home bills and childcare/medical expenses, her response was that she wants to go to court, I am trying to handle this amicablely, without the need for court intervention.. 

Has anyone been through something like this before? How do you guys handle this?.

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First of all, everyone's advice is crucial...please get a stellar lawyer. It is the only way you are going to get a fair shake. That being said, speaking as a husband, I see no reason, other than greed or some kind of vindictiveness, that a single mother making $290K/Year needs to rake her ex-husband over the coals via child support. Will she also be filing for alimony as well? Yes, I know there are court rules and child support minimums "set in stone," but why is it that every one of my friends who have gone through a divorce always get skewered by their child support payments? Not to mention alimony if it was granted as well. I'm not saying children don't deserve the best life you can give them. Just don't ruin the paying parent in the interim. Some states will nearly leave the paying parent destitute if he/she makes less than a substantial sum. The best of luck to you.