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I have this friend....

Senior Contributor

Re: I have this friend....

We are all very different, and all have had to strengthen those weak parts of ourselves, whatever they were. I don't think there is a right or wrong in this @TheVig and @Batsy  Just different genetics, tendencies, and upbringings. I don't know of many people that were just perfectly balanced from birth. Smiley Very Happy

Current Scores: EQ 679;TU 647; EX 679 Gardening since 11/7/18
Beginning Scores-- EQ 632; TU 576; EX 619 FICO 08 (06/13/16) - BK7 discharged 11/2015
Message 21 of 24
Valued Contributor

Re: I have this friend....

@800who wrote:

My good friend from work.. he's a smart guy... in some aspects. I've been working with this guy closely for over a year now and we frequent do stuff outside of work as well as other co-workers. He got into a relationship last july/august (9-10 months ago) and he's a full time 21 year old worker and shes a 21 year old college senior graudating with $100k in debt  going into a retail job with no relevance to her degree what so ever(waste of a degree???). My friend is very clingy when it comes to his gf, he pays for EVERYTHING when it comes to the two of them. He has his own trailer and he's talking about moving her in and he's going to help her with her student loans. My girlfriend and I split everything just about evenly even though shes a junior in college and i'm a full time worker. I tell him that he shouldn't be taking on all her financial responsibilies because that's a heavy strain on him now absorbing the financial burden of two people. When I ask him about it, he constantly assures that's him being a "good boyfriend" and that's what boyfriends are supposed to do. I am predicting a not so happy ending result of that relationship. My friend is a very "proud" person, as well as a know it all/my way is the best way kind of person. I do acknowledge the fact that it's his life not mine and it doesn't affect me, and I do respect that, I guess I am concerned as I friend. Considering I am 20 years old and have never been in a relatinship to the point where finances are a shared part of the relationship, I am looking for everyone's opinion on what they think of my friend's mindset and his financial decisions towards his relationship.

I dont see why you want to tell him what to do.  If he wants to take care of his girlfriend financially that is his business.  Nothing wrong with what he is doing. 

More cards than I can mention in a signature.
Message 22 of 24
Community Leader
Senior Contributor

Re: I have this friend....

Agreed that there’s nothing wrong with it in and of itself, but I also feel that it’s not the smartest way of going about things. But he’s an adult and has to make his own decisions and live with the results. Life’s a tough school in that you get the test first and the lesson later. Hopefully it works out for him.

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5/24, 1/24, 76445/24, who cares #HappyWithAmex

TCL $63,350 | Agg. Util under 7%
Message 23 of 24
Valued Contributor

Re: I have this friend....

OP, You asked what we thought, so here is my opinion. I usually have given friends advice when asked, but if I feel strongly that my friend is making a huge mistake, I may once, offer advise that is not sought. After that it is my friends mistake to make, and my friend will have to learn the hard way. Now, I have some Nieces that I have bailed out of financial trouble repeatedly, so by getting my help, they made their finances that were not any of my business, become my business. Point being, I will only persue offering unwanted advice repeatedly if I am also willing to help them with the consequences of their mistakes. Beyond that, it is not my business.

TU fico08=822 06/28/20
EX fico08=819 07/03/20
EQ fico08=835 06/03/20
EX fico09=834 06/03/20
EQ fico bankcard08=858 06/23/20
TU Fico Bankcard 08=859 06/23/20
EQ NG1 fico=802 05/06/20
EQ Resilience index score=59 04/26/20
Message 24 of 24
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