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I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

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pizza1
Community Leader
Super Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


@Broke_Triathlete wrote:

@Anonymous wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 

Message 21 of 27
Broke_Triathlete
Valued Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


@pizza1 wrote:

@Broke_Triathlete wrote:

@Anonymous wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 


I agree with everything you said Pizza. What I meant by mistake was that it was a mistake thinking it was ok to do what she did. It was no mistake as what she did was completely intentional and completely inexcusable. But her thought thinking it was a good idea or ok, was the mistake. 

Personal:

Business:


Message 22 of 27
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

 



@Broke_Triathlete wrote:

@pizza1 wrote:

@Broke_Triathlete wrote:

@Anonymous wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 


I agree with everything you said Pizza. What I meant by mistake was that it was a mistake thinking it was ok to do what she did. It was no mistake as what she did was completely intentional and completely inexcusable. But her thought thinking it was a good idea or ok, was the mistake. 


I agree with some points here but i think jumping the gun to a divorce is way too hasty. There are too many variables. What the debt was spent on, her attitude toward the debt etc. I have read many posts on here about being young and dumb and ruining your own credit. And yes i understand ruining your own credit is different than ruining someone elses. But for me the principal is still the same. Making stupid decisions when it comes to credit out of ignorance of how those decisions are going to have long terms effects. There are many people who barely know what a credit score is, let alone that a late payment will be on a report for 7 years. I take my credit seriosuly now, a year ago you could have opneed 100 cards in my name and i would have been none the wiser. Not everyone gets the in's and out's of credit. But yes, i imagine she knew that opening them in her husband name with his ss was WRONG. And it was. For me though it doesnt sound like she understood the full credit consequences of what she did. Many people don't. It's not an excuse, but to me someone ruining my credit cause they were ignorant of the deep effects of their choices is different than someone knowing EXACTLY what new accounts, inquiries, high utilization and charge offs would do to my credit and simply not giving a rats a$$. And if my husband tanked my score i would de devastated , and pissed. and im not saying i wouldn't pack some stuff and leave for a bit until i cooled off. I take my credit seriously, but i take my marriage alot more serious tbh. And can't imagine telling my kids their world is going to change cause daddy ruined mommys credit. I have read these forums enough to know that nothing in credit world is damaged forever. I think the damage to her marriage is far worse than to his credit. Damaged, but not ruined. That's my 2 cents. I think there are multiple ways for her to earn back her husband's trust and respect.

 

op, can anything you bought be returned or sold to make extra cash to pay off the debt? Can you get a job to earn cash to solely pay this off? If your husband is the breadwinner its not fair that all extra cash go to pay off your mistake. Be totally honest with him. And never do something so foolish and selfish. I think this wound can be healed over time, both credit wise and marriage wise.

Message 23 of 27
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.

Message 24 of 27
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


@Anonymous wrote:

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.


for sure. Just stumbleded upon it and wanted to chime in.

Message 25 of 27
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


wrote:

@Anonymous wrote:

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.


for sure. Just stumbleded upon it and wanted to chime in.


I came back for updates of some kind nothing new perhaps everyone is happy Smiley LOL and back on track. Smiley Very Happy

Message 26 of 27
gdale6
Moderator Emeritus

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

As OP has never returned, thread is now locked.

Message 27 of 27
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