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I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

Community Leader
Super Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


Broke_Triathlete wrote:

mlm75 wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 

(BK7 d/c-08/2013/FICO-400's) ~ Current scores....Your guess is as good as mine! ???
Scores being held down by tons of INQ/New acts Smiley Wink
Message 21 of 27
Valued Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


pizza1 wrote:

Broke_Triathlete wrote:

mlm75 wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 


I agree with everything you said Pizza. What I meant by mistake was that it was a mistake thinking it was ok to do what she did. It was no mistake as what she did was completely intentional and completely inexcusable. But her thought thinking it was a good idea or ok, was the mistake. 

Message 22 of 27
Regular Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

 



Broke_Triathlete wrote:

pizza1 wrote:

Broke_Triathlete wrote:

mlm75 wrote:

how could he not know you have done this,i check my cards many times a day. if my wife would had done this to me, knowing how much pride i take in keeping my credit score good, there would be a divorce coming, but to each there own .


This happened to me, but a little different. While I was in college and oblivious with credit my dad opened up and $100K in debt in my name. I was away so I never say any statements. I graduated and came home to lawsuit letters from BOA and a few other creditors. I had to file BR because of it in 2012. I've come a long way and it's one thing I'll probably never forget or forgive. 

 

Now to the OP, if I was married to you I wouldn't be able to deal with that. I couldn't imagine my wife doing this to me. That would be the end. He's going to be battling this for 7 years and the first few are going to be the worst. It's completely unfair to him and you've put him in a very tough financial position. Just being real. 

 

I hope he's more forgiving than I would be. You need to come clean because it's going to be even worse if he tries getting a loan or CC and gets denied only to find out what you did. You certainly at worst need to pay off all the debts and beg for forgiveness everyday. 

 

With that said. We make mistakes and I truly hope you get through it. Good luck! 


Im gonna be very blunt here. This was no mistake.  This was not like, "oh shoot, I paid the bill from the wrong acct!".....this was a knowingly sane act that was done. OP sat down and opened up several CC's in her husbands name without him knowing, and racked up debt,  and then hid it from him....plain and simple.  I would have zero tolerance for that, and if I found out I would immediately file for divorce.  She can no longer be trusted, and violated that trust between a husband and a wife. But thats me...Im kind of a reactor, but I know that I would never be able to trust or respect that person again, and if you dont respect and trust...you dont have anything. 

 

What happens if the car breaks down, or they need a house loan for something?  He will find out then....OP needs to come clean, pray the worse he does is file for divorce, and not file a police report on her.  This isnt just a "honey, Im sorry" thing.  This is serious stuff. 


I agree with everything you said Pizza. What I meant by mistake was that it was a mistake thinking it was ok to do what she did. It was no mistake as what she did was completely intentional and completely inexcusable. But her thought thinking it was a good idea or ok, was the mistake. 


I agree with some points here but i think jumping the gun to a divorce is way too hasty. There are too many variables. What the debt was spent on, her attitude toward the debt etc. I have read many posts on here about being young and dumb and ruining your own credit. And yes i understand ruining your own credit is different than ruining someone elses. But for me the principal is still the same. Making stupid decisions when it comes to credit out of ignorance of how those decisions are going to have long terms effects. There are many people who barely know what a credit score is, let alone that a late payment will be on a report for 7 years. I take my credit seriosuly now, a year ago you could have opneed 100 cards in my name and i would have been none the wiser. Not everyone gets the in's and out's of credit. But yes, i imagine she knew that opening them in her husband name with his ss was WRONG. And it was. For me though it doesnt sound like she understood the full credit consequences of what she did. Many people don't. It's not an excuse, but to me someone ruining my credit cause they were ignorant of the deep effects of their choices is different than someone knowing EXACTLY what new accounts, inquiries, high utilization and charge offs would do to my credit and simply not giving a rats a$$. And if my husband tanked my score i would de devastated , and pissed. and im not saying i wouldn't pack some stuff and leave for a bit until i cooled off. I take my credit seriously, but i take my marriage alot more serious tbh. And can't imagine telling my kids their world is going to change cause daddy ruined mommys credit. I have read these forums enough to know that nothing in credit world is damaged forever. I think the damage to her marriage is far worse than to his credit. Damaged, but not ruined. That's my 2 cents. I think there are multiple ways for her to earn back her husband's trust and respect.

 

op, can anything you bought be returned or sold to make extra cash to pay off the debt? Can you get a job to earn cash to solely pay this off? If your husband is the breadwinner its not fair that all extra cash go to pay off your mistake. Be totally honest with him. And never do something so foolish and selfish. I think this wound can be healed over time, both credit wise and marriage wise.

Starting scores very low 600's, 7 months ago ~ Now EXP 738 ~ EQ 721 ~ TU 739 ~ Goal 800 club ~ No lates ~ Collections or Negatives ever
~ Very new to credit ~ AAOA 14 months ~
~Major credit cards~
~ Discover It AU 11,000 ~ Marvel 10,000 ~ PayPal Cashback MC 10,000 ~ Ebates 9,000 ~ Cabela's club visa 6,500 ~ Bloomingdale's AMEX 6,000 ~ CSP 5,000 ~ Boa 5,000 ~ Old Navy Visa 5,000 ~ Citi Costco 4,000 ~ Discover IT 3,100 ~ Disney Chase 2,000 ~ Blispay ~ 2,000 ~ ~ Wells Fargo Cash ~1,500 ~ Cap1 Quik1 1,350 ~ Hilton AMEX 1,000 ~ BCE AMEX 1,000 ~ ED AMEX 1,000 ~ Gm Buy-power ~ 500 ~ Walmart MasterCard 500

~Store cards~
Macys 20,000 ~ QVC 10,000 ~ Walmart Store Card 10,000 ~ GAP store card 9,000 ~ TJ MAXX 7,000 ~ Amazon store card 6,000 ~ JC Penny 6,000 ~ Victoria's secret 4,400 ~ American Eagle 4,000 ~ Sunglass Hut 3,300 ~ Buckle 2,500 ~ Kohl's 2,500 ~ Nieman Marcus ~ 1,500 ~ Maurice's ~ 300

~Inquiries and AAOA holding me down~
Message 23 of 27
Established Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.



Giving up on the images for now

Stepped out of the garden 10/9/16

Message 24 of 27
Regular Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


tidegirl wrote:

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.


for sure. Just stumbleded upon it and wanted to chime in.

Starting scores very low 600's, 7 months ago ~ Now EXP 738 ~ EQ 721 ~ TU 739 ~ Goal 800 club ~ No lates ~ Collections or Negatives ever
~ Very new to credit ~ AAOA 14 months ~
~Major credit cards~
~ Discover It AU 11,000 ~ Marvel 10,000 ~ PayPal Cashback MC 10,000 ~ Ebates 9,000 ~ Cabela's club visa 6,500 ~ Bloomingdale's AMEX 6,000 ~ CSP 5,000 ~ Boa 5,000 ~ Old Navy Visa 5,000 ~ Citi Costco 4,000 ~ Discover IT 3,100 ~ Disney Chase 2,000 ~ Blispay ~ 2,000 ~ ~ Wells Fargo Cash ~1,500 ~ Cap1 Quik1 1,350 ~ Hilton AMEX 1,000 ~ BCE AMEX 1,000 ~ ED AMEX 1,000 ~ Gm Buy-power ~ 500 ~ Walmart MasterCard 500

~Store cards~
Macys 20,000 ~ QVC 10,000 ~ Walmart Store Card 10,000 ~ GAP store card 9,000 ~ TJ MAXX 7,000 ~ Amazon store card 6,000 ~ JC Penny 6,000 ~ Victoria's secret 4,400 ~ American Eagle 4,000 ~ Sunglass Hut 3,300 ~ Buckle 2,500 ~ Kohl's 2,500 ~ Nieman Marcus ~ 1,500 ~ Maurice's ~ 300

~Inquiries and AAOA holding me down~
Message 25 of 27
Established Contributor

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it


@wrote:

tidegirl wrote:

OP hasn't been back to post since the day this was started.   In October.   I think we can let this drop unless we get a return from her.


for sure. Just stumbleded upon it and wanted to chime in.


I came back for updates of some kind nothing new perhaps everyone is happy Smiley LOL and back on track. Smiley Very Happy

Gardening 2020-2021
Total CL 113k+ UTIL 0.01% Uber Visa, DoubleCash, Quicksilver, Discover IT, Freedom Ulimited, Blue Cash, Premier Rewards GOLD
Message 26 of 27
Highlighted
Moderator

Re: I ruined my husband's credit and he doesn't know it

As OP has never returned, thread is now locked.


"If there's a lack of money in your life, understand that feeling worried, envious, jealous, disappointed, discouraged, doubtful or fearful about money can never bring more money to you, because those feelings come from a lack of gratitude for the money you have."

"Reactions are powerful creators because they contain every element needed to manifest—they're a combination of thought, belief, and feeling in action. Positive reactions create more positive things, and negative reactions create more negative things. If you can respond to negative situations calmly and lightly, instead of with emotional turbulence, what happens next in your life will be so much better."

- Rhonda Byrne
Message 27 of 27