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Info on paying Child Support?

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Anonymous
Not applicable

Info on paying Child Support?

Even though the forum is called relationships and money, I suppose speaking of a failed relationship and money would be worthwhile as well.  Specifically I'm talking about child support here.  Just looking for feedback from anyone that's had to go down this road since it seems like one I may find myself on sooner rather than later, unfortunately.  How did the whole process work, did you work out out between the two of you or were courts involved, was it reasonable based on your incomes or was it unreasonable, etc.  If anyone would like to share publicly here that would be great, otherwise if you are cool with talking through PM please get in touch with me there.  Thank you!

Message 1 of 30
29 REPLIES 29
IOBA
Senior Contributor

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

Each state has a worksheet and a formula for figuring out child support.

 

If one person is unemployed or underemployed, the state "inputs" their income at a certain level.  There's a chart for that too.

 

Combined income - total amount of child support.

 

Total amount of child support - which percentage each parent is liable for.

 

Who ever has residential custody will receive the portion the other parent is liable for.  Key thing to remember - BOTH parents have a financial responsibility for the child, not just one.

 

Work related daycare and medical insurance are factored in.  If Grandma babysits for free, no charge, no affect on the child support.  If one parent can provide medical insurance for a nominal cost, then they should and the cost of the insurance is factored in.

 

Send me a private message if you have other questions or want more information.

Message 2 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

I have not been down that road, but if you do work things out without involving the courts be sure to keep meticulous records and proof of payments. She may later get ticked off and decide to take you to court claiming that you haven't paid anything.

Message 3 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Info on paying Child Support?


@IOBA wrote:

Each state has a worksheet and a formula for figuring out child support.

 

If one person is unemployed or underemployed, the state "inputs" their income at a certain level.  There's a chart for that too.

 

Combined income - total amount of child support.

 

Total amount of child support - which percentage each parent is liable for.

 

Who ever has residential custody will receive the portion the other parent is liable for.  Key thing to remember - BOTH parents have a financial responsibility for the child, not just one.

 

Work related daycare and medical insurance are factored in.  If Grandma babysits for free, no charge, no affect on the child support.  If one parent can provide medical insurance for a nominal cost, then they should and the cost of the insurance is factored in.

 

Send me a private message if you have other questions or want more information.


+100

 

Having been through a divorce, making the agreement official through the courts is the way to go.  People start off civil but things can change...quickly.  

Message 4 of 30
IOBA
Senior Contributor

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

PS - One more thing.  Or two more things.  Or three more things.  Or four things.

 

1.)  If you pay by check make sure you write in the memo line, "Child Support for [child's full name] for [insert the month AND the year that child support is for].  Send my mail, CMRR.  If the person does NOT cash the check, you technically still "owe" the support even though you can prove that the person received the check via CMRR.

 

2.)  If you wire the funds to the person's bank account, set it up to occur on the same day each month.  Write on the memo line that it is for child support - see above.

 

And make PAPER copies of the bank statements showing the money was wired to that person's bank account, as well as keeping electronic copies.

 

If your bank sends a paper check through bill pay (instead of wiring the money), then make sure you go back and get a copy of the front and the back of the check.

 

3)  If the person requests cash or a bill to be paid as "child support" - say NO!!!  Absolutely don't do it!!!  Keep to the same payment schedule and method.  Tell the person that they can withdraw the cash they need after the support has been paid.  Tell the person they can pay said bill after they have received the child support.  STICK to the schedule!  I have known cases where the person paying support paid cash and the other person claimed no money was received.  I have known cases where the person paying support made the rent payment or a utility payment or a car payment (by request) as child support and the other person claimed no money was received!

 

4.)  Set up a special bank account strictly for paying child support.  Have money deposited to it each month.  This way if the bank records are subpoenaed it will show just the child support business and not the rest of your business.  (Some people are very vindictive and will use everything they can get their hands on to increase payments or to make you pay in other ways...)

 

***

 

I was using bill pay to pay back a personal loan to a then friend.  The bill payer service would send a paper check from my bank account to the then friend every two weeks.  Then the bill payer decided to automatically withdraw the funds from my account on the payment date and then send a check from THEIR bank account.  The friend always ran to cash the checks .  

 

The then friend claimed I had stopped making payments and then later claimed I never made any payments!  I was sued for the full amount of the loan.

 

It was easy to get copies of the checks that were mailed directly from my account.  (I was saving them each time they posted.)   It was near impossible to get copies of the checks that were mailed from the bill payer's account.  Thankfully, I was able to show my bank statements that clearly showed regular withdrawals from my account every two weeks to this person.  That coupled with the few checks I had copies of front and back, the judge ruled in my favor.  

 

Btw, I used one account JUST for paying back this loan.  No other business was conducted from this account.

Message 5 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

IOBA, sending you a PM now.  I appreciate your input above!

Message 6 of 30
spydergto
Regular Contributor

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

I agree with going through the courts heres a side issue you may run into and without paperwork theres nothing you can do, if she keeps the child from you or from seeing you. once you have paperwork you can keep a copy in your veichle then if she refuses you call the sherrif and show them hey this is current paperwork says i get xxx day xxx time shes refusing and then the cop can assit you without that paperwork even if you ARE bio dad she can tell you to fuc* off and the sherrif cant assit you.

 

its better to get court paperwork cause she cant mess with that a judge will put her in jail. also like mentioned above keep meticulous copies of your payments i lost 1.5 months of paid CS due to misplacing some of the money order recipets. and heres the thing , in texas its UP TO 20% for the first child. this doesnt mean she GETS 20 percent , you have to argue this , as mentioned above i didnt know about the spread sheets they use but its up to 20 percent for the first child this doesnt mean she automagically is entitled to 20 percent of your pay.  fight this as hard as you can because once its set its set mate and its like pulling teeth to get it lowered even with life changing circumstances like loss of work.

Ex 750 10/22/2013 Eq 651 11/09/2013 TU 721 12/9/2013

5/14/14 Equifax – 673 Experian – 744 Transunion – 722

already bought the house! closed with a great deal all thanks to information i learned here!
Message 7 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

Getting everything written and filed is mandatory.  No verbal agreements.  EVER.  Get a GOOD laywer.  Child support is based on your state, and both of your wages.  In Utah, new spouses do not matter.  Also, expect child support to only increase over time.  I was paying 300/mo, and it's now up to 600/mo due to a new job.

 

My biggest piece of advice for any divorce is, do not leave anything out of the divorce papers.  This is why an experienced lawyer is key.  You are supposed to foresee the future in these papers.  I did not forsee my ex wife would marry another guy in the Air Force and take my son to Alaska.  I had no way to fight her because it was not in the papers.

 

All because I was in a hurry to get divorced.  Take your time, and do it right.  Get exactly what you do and don't want in writing.  Do not leave out relocation.  Make it mandatory that any relocation, typically further than X miles must be approved by both parties.

 

I could dole out advice regarding this all day.  The main thing is I very much hope you two can stay friends.  I would kill for that.  

Message 8 of 30
Noctilum
Frequent Contributor

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

My ex-wife and I had an amplicable divorce, so we went by the state's calculator.  We filed the calculation with our divorce papers and it became court ordered and I had to submit it to my payroll person at work.  The money is taken out of each check (50% one check and 50% the next) for the month so there is no worrying about proof of payment.  If I get a third pay check that month then nothing is taken out of it.

 

I have been lucky due to being on good terms with the ex so my amount has not changed over the years.  8 more years for me and it will be like getting a raise!  Good luck to you.

 

HINT: The more time your wife gets with your child the more you'll have to pay.  Try and do 50/50 time if possible.  If not, try and get as close to as you can.  Every other weekend you will most likely have to pay a lot, even if she makes more than you.

Message 9 of 30
Anonymous
Not applicable

Re: Info on paying Child Support?

Not sure if I mentioned it in the original post or not, but she's my girlfriend and not my wife... even though we have a 5 year old together.

 

We've worked out a 50/50 custody plan verbally where she'll have him 50% of the week and me 50% of the week.  Basically the same 3 days for her and the same 3 days for me every week with Sunday being the swing day that alternates every other, resulting in 3.5 days per week over any 2-week period if that makes sense.

 

In meeting with a lawyer today, I was basically told that with that 50/50 split, instead of having to pay the full 17% of my gross wages (New York State) that I'd likely be responsible for half of that.  Financially that seems more more manageable and realistic which made me feel a little better. 

 

I can imagine I've got some interesting weeks moving forward here...

Message 10 of 30
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