@Anonymous-own-fico wrote:If someone is responsible with credit cards, he’s more likely to talk about them. If he’s reckless or against them and uses a debit card, chances are he doesn’t know enough about credit or may have run into a financial pothole. So if you sense resistance, there may be more to it than the privacy issue; after all, doesn’t steady dating include getting to know each other? At some point down the road, an issue not easily touched on could be a signal of trouble, and who wants to marry into that?
Exactly!! I'm slowly learning that not everyone feels the way you do though. Thank you for the feedback.
Starting Score: 400s
I think this is a two way street, as I too get curious about a woman's financial status but want to be tact about asking questions related.
The way I do it, I make a joke about being in the golden years and then ask about retirement ideas. If you can gather the person has the ability to be successfully saving for a retirement\savings goal, that is a good lead that they have some financial stability. If not then you can kind of assume they are living check to check or in some kind of debt.
Income is a very personal inquiry and I think that should never be discussed, and for the most part I find it irrelevant; it is more important what their expenses are versus their income, if they are in the "green" meaning their total expenses/debts per month are significantly less then their earnings, they are in a pretty solid financial state.
@ACsteel wrote:
it is more important what their expenses are versus their income
It hasn’t gotten any easier though. So as FICO agrees with you, companies have increasingly looked into whether employees with lower credit scores are more likely to steal from them, but studies show they are not. They did find however that credit scores are correlated with less desirable personality traits; ranking high on the scale of conscientiousness apparently isn’t the same as being a good person! How’s that for a Monday morning wake-up call? 
@ACsteel wrote:I think this is a two way street, as I too get curious about a woman's financial status but want to be tact about asking questions related.
The way I do it, I make a joke about being in the golden years and then ask about retirement ideas. If you can gather the person has the ability to be successfully saving for a retirement\savings goal, that is a good lead that they have some financial stability. If not then you can kind of assume they are living check to check or in some kind of debt.
Income is a very personal inquiry and I think that should never be discussed, and for the most part I find it irrelevant; it is more important what their expenses are versus their income, if they are in the "green" meaning their total expenses/debts per month are significantly less then their earnings, they are in a pretty solid financial state.
Thank you for your feedback!
@Anonymous wrote:I got divorced nine years ago. A few months ago, I got remarried. I own a home and two cars in a fairly affluent community. So may people assumed I had money in the bank and good credit! Not so much! After my divorce my credit score dropped down to 520. This happened mostly because the equity on my house took a hit when my ex took her piece out. So my "debt to income ratio" didnt look so great.
American Express took my card away simply because of that debt to income ratio, not because I was late with payments. Visa dropped my limit from "no limit" to $300!
What a mess! Today, my score is back up to 727. I have an American Express in my pocket and a Visa card that has a $5000 limit that i barely use. etc..etc...
My point is this: You can probably tell more about his financial state by keeping your eyes open for the cards in his wallet and the way he lives.
Is he easy on the topic of money? Does he ever talk about investments? Or simply; does he seem like a sensible guy?
I can tell you this: During those years that I dated there were a few people who had the wroing impression about my financial state. And yes, goldiggers abound out there!
Either way; It would be a real turn off if someone flat out asked me what my credit rating was!
If he is a sensible guy, it will show up in more ways than one. Good luck!
Thanks for the tips. I will definately keep an eye open and look for signs.
@Sheisaking wrote:
@Anonymous wrote:Heard this topic being discussed on the radio a few weeks ago (when is it OK for a woman to ask a guy about their income/credit). VERY mixed, polarizing views on the subject by both men and women who called in, so definitely seems like something that needs to be navigated with caution.
Me? I'd welcome it even on the first date, even though I have extremely average credit right now. OK, not on the first date, but definitely a few months in, no problem. I think finances are very important in a relationship- not necessarily in terms of how much you make, but do you have a handle on yours? I think it's pretty smart and prudent to figure out whether someone is financially mature (or can be) before deciding whether to commit to them potentially for the rest of your lives. Don't they say that most marraiges fail at least in part due to arguments about money?
Also just wanted to add that although I focused on credit and responsible money management, asking about income would be OK too. I never understood why it's so taboo to bring up this kind of stuff earlier in relationships. How is it any more superficial to worry about your partner's finances than it is about their face, their height, their weight, the clothes they wear, etc? As long as you remain faithful to each other and are both genuinely happy, I just don't see the problem.
Interesting point of view. I personally feel the same way, but I know the topic can be touchy. What I was looking for is how the average man feels about it. You definitely helped with your response. Thank you.
Grin, nothing really to add other than to state the opinions found on this forum will be far from average on this topic.
I would have zero issue even if a woman brought it up on a first date with me, none whatsoever and I'd even welcome it as it saves me the awkwardness of trying to figure out how to bring the subject up; income is usually fairly easy to figure out assuming they're employed within 10K give or take, but fiscal responsibility is hard. End of the day at some point I'm going to want to swap Experian reports before we take that final leap of faith: sad and unromantic as it is, finances are just too damned important to ignore in a relationship.
