My Wife Is Financially Ignorant, Lazy and Inept. What Options Are Available For Me?

[Anonymous]

Hello All,

Back in 2008, like many Americans, we(my wife and I) went through a massive financial downfall. She didn't work, I did, but was laid off, and used my savings and unemployment to carry us for a while(two years). After recovering, I took the Dave Ramsey approach and paid cash for everything, rent, cars, health insurance, auto insurance and groceries, but our credit was in the toilet. So, for over ten years, I never applied for ANYTHING and was already grandfathered in at AT&T, so I didn't even apply for new cell providers.

So, in June 2018, I decided to work on my credit, which had some defaulted student loans....remember when I told you my unemployment/savings took care of us for two years? I went to college during that time. My credit was in shambles due to those student loans.

So, I'm working on getting the student bloans out of default and obtained secured credit cards, credit builder loans and a Self Lender loan and my credit is blossoming.

My wife has no credit with two of the three credit bureaus and a five year old $765 T-Mobile bill on the other, HOWEVER, even though I expressed to her to not pay the collection agency and negoiate with T-Mobile directly, she refuses.

Her Experian FICO score, which is the only bureaus that's listing the T-Mobile bill, has her credit at a FICO 594. In June 2018, I had a FICO 440, today(February 15, 2019) my FICO score is 618 and that's with the defaulted student loans and a $2015.00 illegally charged medical bill.

Yet, after begging her in June 2018, and every day since, showing her what secured cards I have and the massive increase to my FICO score from 440 to 618, she refuses to put forward any effort to better her credit(which isn't bad).

She refuses to take out a credit builder loan from our local credit union, nor will she obtain a Self-Lender account and she yawns when I mention secured credit cards.

What can I do?

I ask, because we were blessed to find a landlord that allowed us to lease a house, even with an eviction and have been doing so for eight years, but are considering buying our very own home, but we need to improve our credit to do so and she seems to be content with a thin credit file one one credit bureau and no credit on the other two.

I feel she is at an advantage, because with two tradelines, her credit could easily reach the 700s and allow her to obtain Chase's trifecta, placing me as an authorize user, which would help my credit too.

Please help.

[Anonymous]

I sense your frustration.

What seems to be her underlying reason for not wanting to take action? On the surface, and somewhat simplified, she’s got to understand that no/bad credit = no mortgage, so it’s got to be something else. IMO, you’ve got to get to the bottom of that and find a way to overcome whatever this “fear” or disinterest is. I really doubt it’s laziness or ignorance.

Can you try some small steps like adding her as an AU on your card(s)?

My DW has great credit, but I’ve got to say she has zero interest in it. She doesn’t care what card she has; she just wants it to swipe and work. If I waited for her to be active in our credit plan, we wouldn’t have a plan.

[Brian_Earl_Spilner]

Tell her you're throwing money away by renting and if she doesn't want to build her credit, to give you permission to do so for her. Shell Sither give you the go ahead if she really doesn't care, or tell you not to. If she doesn't want to, that should open the conversation as to why.

[Remedios]

OP, sorry about the situation you're in. 

If you called me inept, lazy and ignorant, I'd be wondering what my (one) option is, too. 

Good luck, tho. 

[dragontears]

Does your wife currently work? If not her credit score doesn't matter for a mortgage, just have it in only your name.
If you truly want to help her build credit, stop the name calling, quit emphasing how her future good credit would help you and focus on reasons it would help her.

[FlaDude]

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@Anonymous wrote:

My Wife Is Financially Ignorant, Lazy and Inept.

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Have you told your wife that this is what you think of her, and that you told that to a bunch of strangers on the internet? If so, the problem might cure itself when you become single.

[Anonymous]

Yeah dude you should get a divorce I'd never be married to someone like that. A lot of these gold diggers are just trying to get paid. I hope there's no kids involved. Take care of sorry about the judgmental comments from the other users here.

[CreditCuriosity]

Letting this ride for now although will be watching.... Keep it FSR

http://ficoforums.myfico.com/t5/Credit-Cards/Forum-Etiquette/m-p/2797115

Side note relationships take work from both parties involved and sure you have made mistakes as well just as she has.  Can guarantee there are alot nastier things that can transpire such as a divorce, etc..  Best of luck to you and your wife.  To think Valentines day was just yesterday and this post today

[Anonymous]

You are reading too much into it.

My wife in general is ignorant, lazy, nor inept, just with finances.

Keep it mind I stated, "FINANCIALLY Ignorant, Inept and Lazy."

She simply want do anything to improve her credit, and when I bring it up, it's as if I'm talking to my son about politics, she is simply not interested.

Her ignorance(financially) comes from her openly wanting and stating that she wants to help me get our own home, but refusing to consistently work towards that goal, as I'm the only one who is actively working towards it. I guess she feels that a mortgage is going to simply fall out of the sky, into her lap.

I stated she is  lazy(financially)because when she's not working, she's reading paranomal romance books, instead of being on YouTube or MyFico.com researching building credit, and credit cards.

I stated, she was inept(financially), I have to stress financially, because so many of you focused on that instead of the issue at hand.

But, I digress, I stated inept(financially), because the little effort(research)she did conduct into obtaining secured credit cards, didn't lead her to Capital One, Discover, Citi, TD Bank, Bank of America, USAA, not even OpenSky or a Green Dot Secured Visa, it led her Credit One, First Premier, Horizon Gold, Total and Indigo cards, and she replied to me one night, "Baby, I'm thinking about getting these two cards." which were the Indigo and the Credit One fee-harvetsing credit cards. Which told me, she simply typed into Google's search bar, "Credit cards for bad credit," which would bring up those predatory lenders, i mentioned above.

Again, for those of you, who think I'm bashing my wife of twenty years, you couldn't be farther from the truth.

Most of this is frustration, frustration, and frustration!

[Anonymous]

Thanks,

I've tried everything from talking, showing her results to asking my family and her family to weigh in.

As far as the AU thing, honestly, I thought more doing so for my 17,18,19 year olds and didn't consider that for my wife, as she is in a better position than I am to improve her credit.

My bad credit went from 440 across three bureaus to 618 since June of 2018, seven months.

Could you imagine where her credit would be if she started when I started?

She could be in the low to mid-700's.