Need Help Advising Someone In Financial Trouble

[Trudy]

I've read plenty of threads regarding members in debt and their specific situation and have gathered some information from those.  He's absolutely not worried about his credit score at this time as I think it's already in trouble, not sure.  Just getting some relief to avoid adverse actions from the lenders.  

I have a family member who just informed me of how dire his situation is to date.  I've been offering to help where I can since he lost his job but he would not accept anything.  He's now so deep I can't provide enough help to make it okay.  I'd like to advise him regarding actions he should take to stem the tide.

Rent is not an issue as he lives in a family owned property.  He's obviously been living off his credit cards and exhausted his savings to pay bills but with nothing coming in.  He has multiple cards, car payment and child support.  I know I can generically advise him to contact each and let them know his situation to see if they can provide some sort of relief.  What I need to know is the specifics if there are any.  When contacting credit card companies, what needs to be shared and requested?  Is there a program that typically provided with credit cards.  Same question for car payment.  And if anyone knows anything about child support and what can be done there I'd appreciate the feedback.

I'm going to send him some money but I can't fix the problem or support him each month until he's employed again.  He's looking and I have no concerns about the money I'm sending him.  Just want to advise him the best I can while he's trying to get back on his feet.

Thanks in advance for any information you may be able to provide.

[Anonymous]

If they are SIGNIFICANTLY in debt, bankruptcy could be a very good option while in between jobs.

Start fresh with that new job and move forward from there.

[Anonymous]

I'd say first off, any income is better than none. He has a car - jump in with Lyft/Uber to start some money coming in. Apply for jobs - not careers, jobs. Get something so there is positive cash flow, and keep looking for better work in the meantime. 

Have him inquire about hardship programs with his lenders once money is coming in and he has an idea of what he can pay. My opinion is that contacting them now before there are finances to keep up with any offered hardship plans is not a good idea. He may lose those accounts once paid off but as you know, rebuilds can and do happen all the time. Right now it sounds like credit shouldn't be a concern, being able to afford to live is the main thing that should be on his mind. It sounds like a shaky house of cards as it sits and needs to be turned around. I don't know the child support laws in his state, but it wouldn't surprise me if garnishments could be made to pay arrears, and I know in NY that failure to pay court-ordered support can cost you your drivers license and sometimes park you in county jail.

[Anonymous]

TBH these types of situations are tough, and often have me 50/50 on he subject. First off, a Job is definitely in order. Obviously I don't know this person's background/profession, but when times are tough you take what you can get. Minimum wage is better than no wage. I also think not having to worry about rent is possibly part of the reason this person is in this situation? Sometimes when you have no obligations you spend all your Money on non essentialls. Perhaps was using CC for this purpose, as well as paying support via BT's or CA's. 

Another reason it gets to a serious point of no return, is being too proud to accept help earlier. Once the situation get out of hand, it's much more difficult to reign it back in or to keep things from going too far. Once your credit hits that range, you have no options to help dig out. 

Family can sometimes help out, but really only delays the inevitable. It sounds like a possible bury head in sand moment, why they did address it sooner. Ignoring the situation sadly doesn't make it go away. 

The ealier this person contacts their creditors the better, it shows they're trying. Rather than letting things escalate and go unpaid for months etc. Anything that keeps them from reporting to Collections or racking up lates and other fees. As for child support, not much can usually be done here. It costs Money to file a request to lower it based on new Income, and more bills is not what someone in fiancial troube needs. If they would even allow it, who knows? 

I wish this person all the best in trying to figure out how to resolve the situation.

[Anonymous]

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@Trudy wrote:

I've read plenty of threads regarding members in debt and their specific situation and have gathered some information from those.  He's absolutely not worried about his credit score at this time as I think it's already in trouble, not sure.  Just getting some relief to avoid adverse actions from the lenders.  

I have a family member who just informed me of how dire his situation is to date.  I've been offering to help where I can since he lost his job but he would not accept anything.  He's now so deep I can't provide enough help to make it okay.  I'd like to advise him regarding actions he should take to stem the tide.

Rent is not an issue as he lives in a family owned property.  He's obviously been living off his credit cards and exhausted his savings to pay bills but with nothing coming in.  He has multiple cards, car payment and child support.  I know I can generically advise him to contact each and let them know his situation to see if they can provide some sort of relief.  What I need to know is the specifics if there are any.  When contacting credit card companies, what needs to be shared and requested?  Is there a program that typically provided with credit cards.  Same question for car payment.  And if anyone knows anything about child support and what can be done there I'd appreciate the feedback.

I'm going to send him some money but I can't fix the problem or support him each month until he's employed again.  He's looking and I have no concerns about the money I'm sending him.  Just want to advise him the best I can while he's trying to get back on his feet.

Thanks in advance for any information you may be able to provide.

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I'm kinda lost in the context of when you say 'someone' but it appears that this certain someone is obviosly of importance to you and of great value in your life. I totally understand. You are never alone always remember that. For each post on here there are a ton of others who share the same sentiment. In my book it looks like you're already doing everything possible in your power to lend a helping hand to this someone. But... ask yourself what's your end game what do you want out of this? It takes two...

[Trudy]

Okay. So he's been employed and finally sent his card info. No balances or derog info.

Do any of you have advice on:

Chase Slate and Freedom

Discover

Citigroup

Otherwise i will provide generic info regarding hardship programs, which I'm still not very familiar with.  Any additional feedback on action I'd appreciate.

Thanks.

[elixerin]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I'd say first off, any income is better than none. He has a car - jump in with Lyft/Uber to start some money coming in. Apply for jobs - not careers, jobs. Get something so there is positive cash flow, and keep looking for better work in the meantime. 

Have him inquire about hardship programs with his lenders once money is coming in and he has an idea of what he can pay. My opinion is that contacting them now before there are finances to keep up with any offered hardship plans is not a good idea. He may lose those accounts once paid off but as you know, rebuilds can and do happen all the time. Right now it sounds like credit shouldn't be a concern, being able to afford to live is the main thing that should be on his mind. It sounds like a shaky house of cards as it sits and needs to be turned around. I don't know the child support laws in his state, but it wouldn't surprise me if garnishments could be made to pay arrears, and I know in NY that failure to pay court-ordered support can cost you your drivers license and sometimes park you in county jail.

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+1 Florida too

[Anonymous]

Hope your relative is now on the path to good credit. Regarding the child support, one of my assistants doesn't receive anything for her child. Now and then she goes to court. He is ordered to pay. He doesn't. A bench warrant is issued. He gets picked up. Spends a few days in jail. Family member or GF bails him out. The process begins again. He works under the table. Now he has a record. Considered a deadbeat. Lack of responsibility. I know places that would never hire him.

[Save-n-Invest]

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@Anonymous wrote:

Hope your relative is now on the path to good credit. Regarding the child support, one of my assistants doesn't receive anything for her child. Now and then she goes to court. He is ordered to pay. He doesn't. A bench warrant is issued. He gets picked up. Spends a few days in jail. Family member or GF bails him out. The process begins again. He works under the table. Now he has a record. Considered a deadbeat. Lack of responsibility. I know places that would never hire him.

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I have a good support deadbeat story. Years ago a family friend was married to a jerk with one child from a previous marriage. He was self employed and evading support. Claimed he paid cash someitmes and didn't get a receipt. Ex was lying blah, blah, blah. She persuaded him to register with and pay the clerk. She convinced him it would keep accurate records for him. Dummy did. Failed to pay. Sherrif's office sent people to the residence. She answered the door and told them his exact wherabouts. He called for bail. She refused and he spent a weekend in jail. Dummy paid as long as they were married. Wife # 2 received a thank you note from wife #1 when dummy complained to her that wife #2 hustled him on the support issue. 

[Trudy]

Thank you.  Yes, he's on the mend now.  Child support was never a real issue because our family helps out a lot anyway.  Mentioned it because it is part of his financial obligation and welcomed any information that might be able to further assist there.

Since he waited to take action it will take some time as we know to repair but I believe he'll be fine.  Praying he will be.

Thank you all for your comments and assistance.