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Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????

Senior Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????


LadyAng wrote:

Minor update, hardly worth mentioning but I'm still shaking my head. 

 

Crazy Horse definitely still lives there, still renting. About 2 weeks ago, I was out front raking leaves and putting out Christmas decorations. Then CH came rolling down the street and paused to wave and grin at me. Of course, I did not return the "favor". The look on my face was utter scorn and derision as I glared at him, then turned my back. I think I actually spied puzzlement on his on face as I did so. Then he drove on to my turned back.

 

"Don't pretend you're the kindly neighbor who WASN'T trying to con me, fella. Sheesh!


He's probably forgotten all about it...




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Message 111 of 118
New Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????

Random thought....but I wonder what kind of coffee he got at Starbucks.
Message 112 of 118
Valued Member

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????

A good friend of mine recently asked me for a loan. And, being a good friend, I have listened to him vent about his money troubles every week for the last decade or so. So when he gave me the amount, and it was nearly the cost of my mortgage, I was shocked. I have in depth knowledge of his inability to manage his finances, and now he wants me to lend him almost a half a month of his salary? I know he can't even keep up with his own mortgage, why would he pay me? So I talked it over with the wife, came to a number that we were willing to lose out on, and lent that. It was maybe half of what he originally asked for, but it was what we were comfortable walking away from if he couldn't repay, with little hard feelings. 

 

I thought long and hard about that decision. And it wasn't even a large amount of money, only a few hundred dollars. Easily what I spend on junk in a week. But I still couldn't bring myself to give the full amount to my closest friend, because people who are borrowing to stave off a debt caused by imporper money management do not scream trustworthy. 

 

I can't even imagine if a near stranger asked the same of me. I probably would have laughed in his face.

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Message 113 of 118
Regular Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????

Exactly! I've not had "friends" come right out and ask me for loans, but I have (in the past) had them coincidentally try to disappear to the restroom when the lunch check came. 

 

But Crazy Horse neighbor is something I've never, ever experienced before or since. 

 

I'm impressed that you and your wife decided to "donate" to your friend's cause. You do understand that he'll be back for more now that you've shown yourself to be amenable to that. I trust you have a plan of action.

 

And I'm totally with you in thinking, if a person has consistently been in dire straits through poor money skills or poor impulse control, there's very little chance of them repaying a personal loan. In fact, if they're coming to me, they've already burned every other bridge imaginable.

15 Months into gardening for 2 years until January 2019 when the last HP drops and BK7 is 5 yrs post.
Message 114 of 118
Regular Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????


@wrote:

LadyAng wrote:

Minor update, hardly worth mentioning but I'm still shaking my head. 

 

Crazy Horse definitely still lives there, still renting. About 2 weeks ago, I was out front raking leaves and putting out Christmas decorations. Then CH came rolling down the street and paused to wave and grin at me. Of course, I did not return the "favor". The look on my face was utter scorn and derision as I glared at him, then turned my back. I think I actually spied puzzlement on his on face as I did so. Then he drove on to my turned back.

 

"Don't pretend you're the kindly neighbor who WASN'T trying to con me, fella. Sheesh!


He's probably forgotten all about it...


Doubt it. My guess is that he'd hoped I was too dumb to "get it". At any rate, methinks he got reminded by my steely glare. Lol. Onward and upward. 

15 Months into gardening for 2 years until January 2019 when the last HP drops and BK7 is 5 yrs post.
Message 115 of 118
Established Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????

genmnpd.jpg


Message 116 of 118
Regular Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????


@wrote:

genmnpd.jpg


Bwahahahahaha! Thanks, I needed that.

15 Months into gardening for 2 years until January 2019 when the last HP drops and BK7 is 5 yrs post.
Message 117 of 118
Regular Contributor

Re: Neighbor I Barely Know Asked For $5k Loan! What?????


@wrote:

A good friend of mine recently asked me for a loan. And, being a good friend, I have listened to him vent about his money troubles every week for the last decade or so. So when he gave me the amount, and it was nearly the cost of my mortgage, I was shocked. I have in depth knowledge of his inability to manage his finances, and now he wants me to lend him almost a half a month of his salary? I know he can't even keep up with his own mortgage, why would he pay me? So I talked it over with the wife, came to a number that we were willing to lose out on, and lent that. It was maybe half of what he originally asked for, but it was what we were comfortable walking away from if he couldn't repay, with little hard feelings. 

 

I thought long and hard about that decision. And it wasn't even a large amount of money, only a few hundred dollars. Easily what I spend on junk in a week. But I still couldn't bring myself to give the full amount to my closest friend, because people who are borrowing to stave off a debt caused by imporper money management do not scream trustworthy. 

 

I can't even imagine if a near stranger asked the same of me. I probably would have laughed in his face.


I agree with everything but as for the bolded, it's all relative to our unique situations.  I received an $800.00 windfall this month and I can tell you that (to *me*) it was a HUGE windfall and a very useful one at that.  To a millionaire, $800.00 (or even $1000.00) is nothing but "crumbs", as is evidenced by our supposed "leaders" in congress a few days who said exactly that in response to some companies giving thousand-plus-dollar bonuses to their employees.  Not trying to be political here, it's just a fact of life that $8.00 is a VERY nice windfall at or near the same level as my $800.00 windfall was if they're homeless or on the verge of it.  

 

Kudos to you for helping your friend out.  I've done the same exact thing you did and wrote it off mentally as a gift but have been stunned when they've paid up (almost ALL of them)... even if it was months after the promised date of payment.  And yes, the OP of this thread is correct in predicting your friend will approach you again and again for loans since you gave in.  I break that cycle by saying "Hey brother, I'm living on my credit cards right now (true, but working HARD on rectifying that fact) and I'm at LEAST in the same boat as you are." 

Message 118 of 118