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Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab

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Valued Member

Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab

My mother is 93, all things considered she is still pretty mentally sharp, she still lives alone and even drove until just a few months ago. Well back in June she had to have her gall bladder removed, due to her age and some complications (pneumonia) she ended up having to spend close to a month in the hospital and a recovery center. While she was incapacitated I took over her finances, she has a pretty good income, her retirement, my late father's survivors benefits and Social Security. She has always been extremely financially frugal. Her house is paid off, she drives an 18 year old car she refuses to trade in, keeps several savings accounts, and she only keeps a couple credit cards she rarely even uses.  So I was a bit suprised to find a $762 charge had been coming out of her account to some outfit named "E-loan" (for the last two years in fact).

 

Since I know my mother and that seemed extremely odd, I did a bit of research, seems E-Loan is some internet personal loan site based in Puerto Rico. Now I really knew something was fishy. If my mother had gotten a loan for some reason, she would have gone to the local bank she has dealt with for the last 70 years (she never goes anywhere else). Besides she wouldn't know how to even turn a computer on.

 

So when she got back home I asked her about it. At first she seemed a bit embarassed and tried to just pass it off as nothing. When I pressed her on it she admitted that it was something my nephew had gotten. So I asked her, "If it was something he had gotten, why have all the payments for the last two years come out of your account?" So at that point she told me the whole story....

 

My nephew, who has always been a financial trainwreck had been evicted from his apartment. Mother let him move in until he found something else. So, he had been staying with her a few weeks when he asked her to help him get a loan to get his finances in order. At first she said she refused, because she's always been very cautious with her money. But he convinced her it would in no way hurt her credit, she would not be responsible in any way, all he needed her to do is talk to the loan people over the phone and give them her personal information and bank account information for them to deposit the loan in because he didn't have one.  She said she talked to the loan company on the phone, gave them all the information required, but still believed they were just taking it to confirm her identity so he could have the loan money deposited in her account. (she is old fashioned and a bit naive in that regard).

 

So sure enough a few days later $35,000 hits her checking account. She withdrawals it and gives it to my nephew. Then a month later a $762 charge comes out of her account. She confronts my nephew about it and he claims that, "Oh the loan company must have made a mistake and charged her account instead of sending him a bill." He said he would call immediately and get it taken care of. Then the next day he tells her, "Yep took care of everything, I'll give you the $762 back when I get paid and no more will come out of your account" Then a week later he moves out without giving her a penny and she hasn't seen him since (going on two years this September). Of course the loan payments never stopped, either.

 

I went and talked to the local Sheriff's department and they basically said she would need to be the one to come in and file a fraud complaint. However, she refuses to do so, I think between being embarassed and not wanting to get my nephew in trouble. She just wants to forget about and keeps saying, well I'll just exclude him from my Will and call that $35k his inheritance. I suppose in the end it is her choice, but I'm still steaming mad over the whole thing.

 

I have talked her into paying the remaining balance off out of her savings, there is no reason somebody with her credit (815 cs) should be paying 10% interest to some fly-by-night personal loan outfit.  

Message 1 of 7
6 REPLIES 6
Frequent Contributor

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab


@Dervrak wrote:

My mother is 93, all things considered she is still pretty mentally sharp, she still lives alone and even drove until just a few months ago. Well back in June she had to have her gall bladder removed, due to her age and some complications (pneumonia) she ended up having to spend close to a month in the hospital and a recovery center. While she was incapacitated I took over her finances, she has a pretty good income, her retirement, my late father's survivors benefits and Social Security. She has always been extremely financially frugal. Her house is paid off, she drives an 18 year old car she refuses to trade in, keeps several savings accounts, and she only keeps a couple credit cards she rarely even uses.  So I was a bit suprised to find a $762 charge had been coming out of her account to some outfit named "E-loan" (for the last two years in fact).

 

Since I know my mother and that seemed extremely odd, I did a bit of research, seems E-Loan is some internet personal loan site based in Puerto Rico. Now I really knew something was fishy. If my mother had gotten a loan for some reason, she would have gone to the local bank she has dealt with for the last 70 years (she never goes anywhere else). Besides she wouldn't know how to even turn a computer on.

 

So when she got back home I asked her about it. At first she seemed a bit embarassed and tried to just pass it off as nothing. When I pressed her on it she admitted that it was something my nephew had gotten. So I asked her, "If it was something he had gotten, why have all the payments for the last two years come out of your account?" So at that point she told me the whole story....

 

My nephew, who has always been a financial trainwreck had been evicted from his apartment. Mother let him move in until he found something else. So, he had been staying with her a few weeks when he asked her to help him get a loan to get his finances in order. At first she said she refused, because she's always been very cautious with her money. But he convinced her it would in no way hurt her credit, she would not be responsible in any way, all he needed her to do is talk to the loan people over the phone and give them her personal information and bank account information for them to deposit the loan in because he didn't have one.  She said she talked to the loan company on the phone, gave them all the information required, but still believed they were just taking it to confirm her identity so he could have the loan money deposited in her account. (she is old fashioned and a bit naive in that regard).

 

So sure enough a few days later $35,000 hits her checking account. She withdrawals it and gives it to my nephew. Then a month later a $762 charge comes out of her account. She confronts my nephew about it and he claims that, "Oh the loan company must have made a mistake and charged her account instead of sending him a bill, he said he would call immediately and get it taken care of." Then the next day he tells her, "Yep took care of everything, I'll give you the $762 back when I get paid and no more will come out of your account" Then a week later he moves out wihtout giving her a penny and she hasn't seen him since (going on two years this September). Of course the loan payments never stopped, either.

 

I went and talked to the local Sheriff's department and they basically said she would need to be the one to come and file a fraud complaint. However she refuses to do so, I think between being embarassed and not wanting to get my nephew in trouble. She just wants to forget about and keeps saying, well I'll just exclude him from my Will and call that $35k his inheritance. I suppose in the end it is her choice, but I'm still steaming mad over the whole thing.

 

I have talked her into paying the remaining balance off out of her savings, there is no reason somebody with her credit (815 cs) should be paying 10% interest to some fly-by-night personal loan outfit.  


I’m so very sorry about the situation. That’s just downright low and despicable. While it’s your mothers choice. I’d try to get other family members have her reconsider. I’d also suggest the family do an intervention. Give your nephew a shaming and one heck of a come to Jesus moment. JMO

Good luck.

Your chosen approach can dictate what will be your final outcome. Be proactive, not reactive-
Message 2 of 7
Valued Member

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab



I’m so very sorry about the situation. That’s just downright low and despicable. While it’s your mothers choice. I’d try to get other family members have her reconsider. I’d also suggest the family do an intervention. Give your nephew a shaming and one heck of a come to Jesus moment. JMO

Good luck.


Oh I think we are all well beyond that at this point. His own mother, my sister, hasn't even spoken to him in over a year because he cheated her so many times. He has essentially burned his bridges with the entire family long before this came to light, thankfully he only got me for about $600 before I learned my lesson. The only family member that still has any contact with him any more is his brother, my other nephew (who ironically is a very sucessful executive at GEICO, talk about night and day). Last his brother heard, he was working construction in Alabama (about five states away). I think the rest of the family would be content if he stays there. 

Message 3 of 7
Frequent Contributor

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab

Out of curiousity, were you or anyone else aware of your nephew moving in with your mom, even if it was for a limited amount of time?

 

That's when the red flags would have raised for me.

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Message 4 of 7
Valued Member

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab


@OmarR wrote:

Out of curiousity, were you or anyone else aware of your nephew moving in with your mom, even if it was for a limited amount of time?

 

That's when the red flags would have raised for me.


I can't speak for other family members. But I was aware of it at the time.  Though "moving in" might be a bit of a stretch for the actual situation. All his belongings were in storage and mom was essentially just letting him "crash" in one of the spare bedrooms and use her shower and laundry facilities when he wasn't working (he was driving a truck and would be gone for days at a time). I certainly didn't like the situation. I remember telling her at the time (only half joking) that she better check her jewelry box and silverware often and warning her that he already ripped off the rest of the family (which is why his own mom and dad wouldn't let him stay at their house).  However, the situation only lasted about eight weeks before he left for good and he was never there when I visted (about once a week) or I would have pulled him aside and strongly encouraged him to find somewhere else to "crash".  So when he finally left with seemly no issues for mom I was relieved and happy. 

 

I certainly realize now I should have been much more concerned (hindsight 20/20 and all that). I suppose even though he had never repaid me or other family members for money he borrowed or work we paid him to do that he never did, I still couldn't imagine he would outright defraud his own grandmother out of thousands.       

Message 5 of 7
Valued Contributor

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab

Disgusting.  

10% apr?  Could be a heck a lot worse.

Look at it this way...for $35k you never have to deal with him again.

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Message 6 of 7
Regular Contributor

Re: Nephew took out a $35k loan and stuck my elderly mother with the tab

Unfortunately financial abuse of the elderly is often at the hands of family members with caregivers next. Relatives are hesitant to take steps with authorities regarding the fraud often due to embarassment or a misplaced sense of family loyalty.

 

Sorry that happened to your mom. 

Message 7 of 7
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