Sorry to hear that it was a difficult conversation but this may be the best outcome for now.
Maybe they'll take some time and rethink it but I wouldn't feel bad about walking away from it with a clear conscience. You tried to offer a reasonable solution / ideas and they're not having it. It's hard to have a parent lay out both the guilt trip and pity play in the same conversation.
No good deed...
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VERY glad to see that you and DW were on the same page... and that she used the emergency signal before YOU did.... lol.
Never underestimate the value of a good spouse!
Yeah, never stray away from her for any reason, your wife is definitely a keeper!
There are many forms of infidelity. Glad to see that you worked it out together
without it having to escalate beyond any further drama and pain. No one wants to
volunteer for that, I know for a fact that I would not unless I were beaten and driven
crazy and even then, I would not consider it.
Sadly people reveal the type of people they are in situations like this. And while you can't change your family, you definitely can limit how much they can affect your life negatively. You have to take care of yourself and your wife first. I'm glad both you and your wife are on the same page. These situations can get messy very quick.
While reading the beginning of this thread, I was thinking the in-laws were well into their late 70s, maybe early 80s, and felt sorry for them. Then it turns out they're barely in their mid-60s?!! My pity went out the window.
Unless they have health issues that make it impossible, they could BOTH easily get a job doing something, anything that generates a steady paycheck, and use that money to dig themselves out of the hole they've gotten themselves into. These days, it's very common for people to work into their 70s, 80s, and beyond--not because they NEED to, but because they WANT to. And here's a couple who, by choice, doesn't work and now they expect their kids to help pay their mortgage? What am I missing?!
MIL, has been a homemaker since she was 23 so she "can't"... and FIL was let go by the company he worked for and retired... he does Uber now but it hardly pays enough for their bills.. they have equity and a small savings (50k?).
funny they haven't called us or anything since we last spoke.. DW is going to reach out and attempt to convince them to move to a condo or something..
can we help? Yes.. but at the same time I don't want this burden of helping for 20 years... also they threw it in my face that we are financially well off and that he helped get my DW student loans when we paid them all!!
i feel as they did this intentionally thinking we would help bail them out..
I work 10 hours daily and DW works her office hours and is on call with the hospital 2-3 days a week... it upsets me they want to take advantage of us.
I don't know why, but your situation really made me mad.
So what if she was a homemaker? Many women (and men) who were homemakers have successfully gone on to join the workforce. It's not like "once a homemaker, always a homemaker!" She COULD get a job if she wanted to. Ditto for your FIL! So what if he retired? There's no law that says you can't un-retire. People retire from a career and then go on to do something else, so why not in his case?
They're still young by today's standards. It's ludicrous to me that they'd voluntarily NOT WORK and then have the audacity to ask you to finance their 'lifestyle' they're used to. I'd be *so* embarrassed if I NEEDED to ask my daughter and son-in-law for financial help--and I'm ill! I CAN'T work. But I'd still die of embarrassment if I had to ask them for financial help. I just don't get this.
And you've been much calmer and nicer than I think I would've been under similar circumstances. I'm afraid I'd blurt out something like "ARE YOU BLANKING KIDDING ME?!!! Go out and get jobs!" Or "get a reverse mortgage" or "sell your house" or...something....
Luckily, my in-laws had a very strong work ethic and took care of themselves; they were not wealthy, but they were certainly comfortable--and they never would've dreamed of asking any of us for financial help. They managed their finances very well and had a great retirement--until Parkinson's disease hit, but that's a whole other story....