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Second rant for the day!!

Frequent Contributor

Second rant for the day!!

As stated in prior post DD moved in with fiancee and 1yr old in March ....

 

2 issues: 

 

1st  DD is so foolish where credit is involved and her SO is a great guy (very responsible) but its hard with all of us living under one roof and with HER it's a battle on the 1st of the month to pay what they agreed to before  they moved in, so a couple of months ago I sat both of them down and asked if we were "roommates" or "family" (please note her SO was grossly embarrassed every time DD pulled the "I don't think we should have to pay crap")  because if we are "roommates" I was giving them notice to move within 30 days. I was at my limit of goodwill, so going forward as family we could do this as long as no crap given...worked until 3 days ago..ughhh..DD under breath loaded statements again.. I bite my lip and move on to keep the peace

 

2nd DD and SO tell me last night that she is PREGNANT!!!!! due in feb.

 

I want to cry...I am so not happy about this at all, my house is not that big, It is costing me alot of money to have my stuff in storage (from the rooms they have) & pay for all the groceries (has almost tripled from when it was just DS & I) and I want them out of my house as soon as possible.

 

After DD went to bed I had a long talk with her SO, I asked him what their plans were to get own place and he agreed that they could not live here once baby came, my house is too small and I am an old broad who needs to get sleep at night (currently not happening with 1yr old in next room) we talked about their budget and plans and I thought all was good.....

 

This morning at 5am DD was slamming doors and mouthing crap under her breath and I was in no mood.. she then accused me of "not loving them"  and not happy about the baby.  So (calm way) I told her to grow up and stop being so childish and that I am not responsible for their life choices. Well DD started with the tears, baby started crying and her SO came downstairs and told her to stop and get ready for work.

 

I am so discouraged, my DS will be going to college in 2 yrs and I am working hard to get my own debt payed off and it's killing me to see almost 1.2k go out each month because of DD and her life choices. I love them but I feel so depressed about the thought of them being here for one more day ... 

 

Thanks for letting me rant (I am all alone and I just needed to vent)

"Your past is the doorway to your future"

Dad's words of wisdom

Message 1 of 6
5 REPLIES
Established Contributor

Re: Second rant for the day!!

Vent away!  We all need to sometimes...

 

At first I thought it was interesting that her SO is more appreciative and respectful of you than  your DD... but then I thought a little more and the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" popped into my mind.  DD seems to feel that because she's living at home the arrangement should be the same as when she was a child, while her SO feels more like a guest, and is acting accordingly.

 

Props to you for trying to make it work!  Not knowing the details, I feel like DD should be paying your storage costs since you had to make room for her.

 

Out of curiosity, do they just not have money at the end of the month to pay what they owe due to bad spending decisions, or do they HAVE money, but DD just feels she shouldn't have to pay?

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Message 2 of 6
Frequent Contributor

Re: Second rant for the day!!


@Dalmus wrote:

Vent away!  We all need to sometimes...

 

At first I thought it was interesting that her SO is more appreciative and respectful of you than  your DD... but then I thought a little more and the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" popped into my mind.  DD seems to feel that because she's living at home the arrangement should be the same as when she was a child, while her SO feels more like a guest, and is acting accordingly.

Right on the money!

 

Props to you for trying to make it work!  Not knowing the details, I feel like DD should be paying your storage costs since you had to make room for her.

Thank you!, she should but I really want them to be able to move .. so not going to ask lol

 

Out of curiosity, do they just not have money at the end of the month to pay what they owe due to bad spending decisions, or do they HAVE money, but DD just feels she shouldn't have to pay?

They have money going into savings acording to SO to move out, but they are both so wastful i.e. eating out, new clothes (all of them)

 

I sat them both down yesterday and told them they have to leave before the new baby, and by tomarrow I need a "hard date", again DD showed her butt but SO told her to cut it out and stop putting her frustrations out on me (I really like this young man .. lol) so I was able to sleep last night a little easier


 

**edited for highlighting .. lol

"Your past is the doorway to your future"

Dad's words of wisdom

Message 3 of 6
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: Second rant for the day!!

Curious...

 

Did DD & SO give a firm move out date?

 

Do you have faith that they will move out?

Message 4 of 6
Valued Contributor

Re: Second rant for the day!!

Be strong.  At our house the answer when asked for money is no no and  never. DW and I are over 60 and need to save everything we can. My DD earns over $200K her husband $40K but they live hand to mouth not in LA or NY. He just blows their income. DS 1 Earns about $40K but has no ideas about money DS 2 Has substance issues.  Nothing given to him can be something he can sell , or pawn.   Years ago DW and I relized we were just being played.   DS 1 and So  blow money going out every weekend.   You have been used and abused.  

Message 5 of 6
Regular Contributor

Re: Second rant for the day!!

Nothing wrong with venting. But remember this.....a problem without a solution is just whining.

Time show some them the door. Pregnancy or not. You have allowed their problems to become your problems when you let them move in. Show them the door.
Message 6 of 6