That's a heck of a lot to unpack... I'm sorry for the degradation of your marriage.
Depending on where you are in the state, is the land worth much? That's likely to be worth more than the house. With the 50% split, your best bet may be to just take any pennies in your checking account(s) and leave him with all the leins on the house. Then at least you'll have a clean slate. Maybe you could get a social security check or two of his for the value still in the house.
All in all, best of luck with things.
Well, first off, " $3,200 monthly between s.s. and pensions combined" isn't bad for retirement income, but how of that is yours? If you divorce you will only get whatever is paid directly to you. With the low value of the property and their being back taxes and apparently other loans it doesn't sound like it's worth bothering trying for a home equity LOC or loan. But can the property be subdivided into 1 parcel with the main house and the other parcel with the two tiny houses? If so, then maybe you could take that parcel with the two tiny houses and sell it, someone may want it to install plumbing and rent them out, maybe rent them as an AirBnB vacation type rental.
Or, if enough of that "$3200 monthly combined" is enough for you to live on then maybe just leave? Does your son have enough space where he lives for you to stay with him? If so then you wouldn't need too much to get by.
The question to OP as to how much of the monthly ncome is hers is important in reference to Social Security. Many times the wife is receiving a spousal benefit based on a percentage of her husband's benefit. The reverse is true if the wife was the higher earner. Not gender specific.
In the event of the death of one spouse the surviving spouse continues to receive the larger of the two benefits, not both. Often the loss of the deceased spouses benefit is an unpelasant surprise to the surviving spouse.
In divorce Socai Security benefits remain with the beneficiary. Social Security benefits are not subject to any property settlement agreement. No divvying up of Social Security.
More info is available at ssa.gov
Best of luck to you. I was a divorced older woman so know there are issues to consider. First of all, you have to start thinking about your financial situation as a single woman, if you are actually still considering getting a divorce. Count your money only and see what you have. Make a list of your expenses and see what you have left. That planning has to begin right away. Best of luck to you...
My son has passed away ...
Wow, i was following the story with nothing to contribute. When I ran up on this, my heart sunk, I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your son, best of luck to you.