Should you ask someone their credit score on the first date?

[Anonymous]

I know this isn't romantic at all but at the end of the day if your like me a guy who is in his mid thirties, very frugal, always pays his bills on time (I prepay my credit cards actually), invests a good chunk of his income and does a side hustle(s) for extra money it seems to me like a good idea just to ask a date her credit score to get a feel if she is good with money or not.  Most people get divorced due to money issues and someone like myself who is naturally frugal is statistically not going to have a relationship workout with a woman who is a spendthrift.  So instead of wasting my time as well as hers is it not best just get the credit score and personal finance stuff out on the table right away to see if we are compatible instead of waiting later on?  

[kilroy8]

Funny approach.

That stuff comes way later for me.

Chemistry work comes first.

[thornback]

haha...  so, yes (I am a woman, btw).   I'll tell you ---  dealing with major financial management differences later in the relationship is certainly not romantic so you may as well get it out of the way asap.   Though the 1st date may be too soon (you may find you're incompatible for other reasons), maybe date #2.  

There's a way to do it though without coming off as a complete ***.   Like...  I've pretended to receive a credit monitoring notification while on a third date -- a notification that I most certainly had to comment on aloud (gained a few points after a card reported $0 - which did actually happen earlier in the day so it wasn't a complete fabrication...) and it opened the door to the credit discussion.   You can generally tell by how they respond to your commenting whether or not they even care about credit... then go from there.   

Straight up asking "what are your 28 FICO scores" may be a bit much -- some folks deem that to be a bit personal- others may have no idea what their FICOs are but that doesn't necessarily mean they're irresponsible - they're just not FICO-informed;  but you could get a sense of where they stand creditwise by just having a general credit discussion.  Also - if you're paying for the date...  sit there and contemplate which card you're going to use for the best rewards -- and if you get feedback, that's another door opened.

That said -- when labeling a woman a "spendthrift" you may want to consider her personal income and overall financial health.  She may not be particularly frugal, but she also may be able to afford to not be frugal.   What matters is whether she's responsible enough to prioritize her finances: have savings, pay her bills on-time/pay in full mostly, etc., not whether or not she's willing to throw $500 at a pretty pair of shoes -- she may have budgeted for items you may  consider luxury - so weigh those things too. 

[Anonymous]

Granted I would use tact bringing it up.  I wouldn't just go say to her "give me all your credit information, bank account information, investment portfolio information and if you own a business I need all that information now and if you don't give me that information now then don't let the door hit you on the way out".  No I wouldn't do that I would use tact but I would bring up the conversation.    

[GApeachy]

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cuz what if he/she asked, "What's a fico?"  

[Anonymous]

I think asking on the first date is a bit much. 

First dates are typically pretty casual. You know, making sure she isn't a raging alcoholic with 16 cats at home. If I was asked a question about my credit score or personal finances on the first date, they would have gotten a vague answer or an "I don't know". If I haven't even decided if a second date is in order yet, I don't think I need to share my FICO score either. 

[Save-n-Invest]

If the chemistry is good the money stuff can be worked out. There may be a few lengthy and louder than usual conversations but making up is fun. 

[Anonymous]

I would say " none of your **bleep** business".  I generally believe financial matters are personal and it is optional if you want to share the Fico infomation with your partner. If the couple plans to marry/serious relationship then that would be the "right time" to ask. It up to your partner wants to share or not.  

[Shooting-For-800]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I would say " none of your **bleep** business".  I generally believe financial matters are personal and it is optional if you want to share the Fico infomation with your partner. If the couple plans to marry/serious relationship then that would be the "right time" to ask. It up to your partner wants to share or not.  

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Yeah I would tell you there's the door get the hell out.  No offense but from prior dating experience everytime a woman has this type of reaction it's because her finances are beyond messed up.  The same goes from experiences my friends had as well.  People who won't talk about money when casually asked about something that is not invasive like what is your credit score or how much do you put away in savings a month tend to bury their head in the sand when they have money problems and hope they go away instead of trying to actually fix the problem.