Should you ask someone their credit score on the first date?

[BetterTomorrow]

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@KLEXH25 wrote:

I have a lot to say about this topic! Although I agree that fiscal responsibility is an important trait in a partner, a FICO score doesn’t give you the whole picture. For example, when my fiancé and I started dating 3 years ago, he was always talking about his 800 credit score, and I’m pretty sure he was trying to get that information out of me. The problem was, I didn’t even have a credit card (or a score for that matter). I had gone without one for about 12 years at that point, because I had made a mess of my credit when I was in college. So instead, I learned to make a budget and live within my means. I paid cash for everything, I saved money, and I had NO debt. Whenever someone discussed credit cards or credit scores, I would internally freak out because I was too scared to admit to anyone that I had neither. Typically, I would mention I was debt free and then move the conversation along. On the other hand, my fiancé with his 800 credit score, loves to shop and spend money and had $15,000 of debt and no savings. All that told me was that he is good at keeping up his payments, but NOT budgeting or living within his means.

Still, the fact that he spoke so openly about credit and his debt, made me more comfortable about it that I started doing more research, which is how I ended up here. Funnily enough, I learned a lot more about credit than my fiancé, and learned that the score he was always talking about was his Vantage score from Creditwise. When I asked him about his FICO, he didn’t know what that was, and I have come to realize that MOST people don’t even know the difference. They go on Credit Karma for their free scores and don’t realize that they have other, more important scores that they should be paying attention to.

What I have taken from all of this is that while credit scores are important, there are better ways to find out how financially stable someone is. Pay attention to their spending, learn about their debts, and be open about your finances. Let them warm up to you until they’re ready to talk about it, so when things start to get serious, you can have that conversation.

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I'd take being debt free vs having high Vantage score any day. Can't believe he was bragging about his Vantage score. LOL

[KLEXH25]

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@BetterTomorrow wrote:

I'd take being debt free vs having high Vantage score any day. Can't believe he was bragging about his Vantage score. LOL

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To be fair, his FICO also turned out to be high, and his history is long and clean (as far as I know). And he has since gotten a consolidation loan to pay off his debt and he saves now. But my point is that even the best scores don't show you the whole picture.

[Anonymous]

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@GApeachy wrote:

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Cuz what if he/she asked, "What's a fico?"  

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I know I'm a little late on this post, but this made me laugh, GApeachy! 

[Save-n-Invest]

Maybe a person just doesn't know their score. I didn't until a few years ago. I applied for BCE and was approved. When the card arrived with other documentation it gave the Experian score. It had the scold type message about no installment accounts etc. I did a search for that score to learn that 819 was not bad. 

One of the hits was this site. It was interesting so I visited frequently to read but was not registered. About a year later I registered because I was buying a car. I did a cash deal but still the auto loan forum had a lot of good info. The sales person really tried to persuade me to finance the car. It's luxury-ish. I don't finance luxury. If I ever finance a vehicle that would be basic transpo. Debt adverse person here. 

My credit history is long and clean. I never really gave a thought to the actual numerical score. I paid everything in full early or on time so I assumed the score was ok. If doing what I did was not a good score then who had one? That was my thougth process at the time. 

Could be that others just don't know their credit score. If Amex pc'd my Blue to BCE I probably still wouldn't know the score.

[Anonymous]

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@thornback wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@kilroy8 wrote:

Funny approach.

That stuff comes way later for me.

Chemistry work comes first.

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Totally agree. Chemistry first!

I don't think it hurts to ask later in a serious relationship especially if you're going to be sharing expenses at that point.

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Yeah but what if you catch feelings and then find out that person's finances are all jacked up and now you feel obligated to help sort things out (and possibly shell out your own $$ in the process) so you two can have the future you envision?? And then you do all that and the relationship goes south anyway.... NOT THAT IT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME.... IJS. 

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I've never been in that situation but I imagine as the relationship becomes more serious and you're spending money on dates that the topic of finance will come up. For me it was when I decided to look for a new car while currently dating someone and that's how we ended up talking about credit. This was during our first year dating and we are coming up 3 years now. I can imagine if someone is interested in talking about their credit score or anything related to money--the conversation will happen some how some way. As long as the person is open to discussion about it then I take it that as a good sign. I still wouldn't want to ask the person on a first date what their credit score is. If someone were to ask me I'd probably say I'll let you know on the 3rd date if it's going well.

[Brian_Earl_Spilner]

I make them fill out a credit app and background check form if we make it to a 3rd date. Then I skiptrace them and look at all their social media accounts to check for discrepancies.

[Anonymous]

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@Brian_Earl_Spilner wrote:

I make them fill out a credit app and background check form if we make it to a 3rd date. Then I skiptrace them and look at all their social media accounts to check for discrepancies.

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Lmao DEAD.

[CreditInspired]

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@Anonymous wrote:

I know this isn't romantic at all but at the end of the day if your like me a guy who is in his mid thirties, very frugal, always pays his bills on time (I prepay my credit cards actually), invests a good chunk of his income and does a side hustle(s) for extra money it seems to me like a good idea just to ask a date her credit score to get a feel if she is good with money or not.  Most people get divorced due to money issues and someone like myself who is naturally frugal is statistically not going to have a relationship workout with a woman who is a spendthrift.  So instead of wasting my time as well as hers is it not best just get the credit score and personal finance stuff out on the table right away to see if we are compatible instead of waiting later on?  

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WHOA Buddy, hold up a sec. You barely know the color of my eyes, whether I like cats or dogs or neither, if I'm a twin, if I prefer baths to showers and you're asking me about my FICO scores. So will you have a truth thermometer there. Will I have to pull up my scores to prove they're 800+. What if they're higher than yours?  Now that's a thought!  Nope, I'm burning rubber to get out of dodge from any man or woman who dares to ask me about my finances on a first date. 

Good luck with that. 😂😆🤣

[donkort]

It's really none of anybody's business what my FICO score is.  Especially if a person asks my that on a first date.

I don't mind sharing it----but I don't want to be interrogated about it.  I don't feel that a FICO score should be a basis for a relationship.

I would never ask a lady her FICO score.  

[rbentley]

Only ask if you don't want a second date.