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When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

Caneaus2020
Regular Contributor

When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

Anybody of age will tell you that life is full of would'ves, could'ves and sometimes regrets.

 

I'm 49 years old and I remember when I was a punk kid, my parents, grandparents and others urged me to save money, collectively shouting, "Boy, that money is burning a hole in your pockets!"

 

And, like most teenagers, it went in one ear and out of the other.

 

Now, the roles have changed, it's me who's advising my children, neices and nephews on personal finance, credit and more.

 

But even with the best of efforts, it's seemingly becoming futile, as these kids are easily distratced today with smartphones and social media.

 

My parents told me, "Just let them live and learn, as we allowed you to live and learn."

 

But, I refuse to do so. We didn't have the resources they have today, when we were teenagers, so I demand that they take advantage of it, at least "my" children.

 

To make a long story short, I have three teenagers, who work and five nieces/nephews that work, but they blow money on nonsense and more.

 

My kids have all had student checking  accounts for years, and I convinced my five neices and nephews to do the same,.

 

So, one Saturday morning, I had accounts opened for my nieces and nephews and then we had everyone, my kids included apply for a BofA Student credit card, and they were all approved. 

 

To make a long story short, after talking to them for weeks or more about the importance of credit. Having each of them complete thorough research about credit, including the the credit building process, as well as read numerous message boards, including myFICO's message boards, they(my children, neices and nephews) continued to spend their hard-earned money on nonsense.

 

Even, worse, when they had the option to use their credit cards for said purchases, they use their BofA debit card instead? 

 

Unless, I'm literally in the store with them, and forcing them to use their credit cards, they use debit or cash.

 

They are all responsible, so I didn't micro-manage them, as none of their checking  accounts have been over-drawn or anything like that, nor have they went over their credit limits, not even close.

 

I'm speaking in retrospect to consistency, and because they all live either with me(my kids) or their parents, and have no responsibilities, like most teenagers they blow money, which is an oxymoron.

 

So, as of today, this is where we are: 

 

They have all given "ME" their credit cards, including my neices and nephews. So, I collectively have eight student credit cards(my three children/five neices and nephews) in a small wallet my a safe in my house.  

 

It's "I" who make eight separate small purchases per month, using each of their cards, to stave off inactivity, then I tell them to transfer ffunds from their checking accounts to cover the small monthly charges, before the due date of course. I usually purchase something small for my mom, their grandmother and they are good with it.

 

I know they trust thir father/uncle, but this is something "they" should be doing, but I was told, "I'd rather, you keep the cards and do it, since I'm occupied with school/work and I don't want temptation to get the best of me."

 

But, I see them with new clothes and shoes, and ask, how did you pay for that and collectively, I get, "My debit card."

 

I'm starting to pull out whatever hair, I have remaining!

 

You just spent $200 on an outfit, with your DEBIT CARD?

 

You should've used your credit card, then waited a day or two and simply transfered the money out of your checking and obtained those points!

 

I said, all that to ask this: What should I do?

 

I want them to continue to build credit, but they are not taking advantage of their credit, like they do debit and cash. Besides, out side of a couple of purchases, who still uses cash?

 

Any suggestions?

 

Message 1 of 23
22 REPLIES 22
VanderSnoot
Established Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

You need to stop and let them make their mistakes. Better they make those mistakes now as teenagers than in 30 years, when they're your age, because they never learned to take control of their finances because their dad/uncle drove himself crazy doing it for them.

Message 2 of 23
Jnbmom
Community Leader
Senior Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

How old are they??

 

I think they can do this on their own and learn how to do it. Yes credit cards have rewards but kudos for using their debit cards with money they actually have, but yes they should learn rewards as well. I think you need to let them grow up and stop doing it for them.

 

 

EXP 758 TU 783 EQ 729
Message 3 of 23
GApeachy
Super Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!


@Caneaus2020 wrote:

 

 

My parents told me, "Just let them live and learn, as we allowed you to live and learn."

 

But, I refuse to do so. 

 

 

 

What should I do?

 

 

 


Listen to your Parents! Smiley TongueSmiley Very Happy

"My Take Home Pay Don't Take Me Home"
Message 4 of 23
Neblinosa
Regular Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

I personally think they are doing the right thing at their ages by learning to only spend what they have.  I think you are better off to just reinforce that and add in the need to also budget and save.

 

I understand the benefits of using credit cards over debit cards, but I also know that people who only use debit cards don't end up in credit card debt.  Give them a good foundation of good money management and saving for the big ticket items.  Once they get out in the world and have credit offers thrown them, you can know that you laid a good foundation. 

 

We include our kids in some of our budget discussions.  They hear us talking about saving for vacation ahead of time and how we are going to put off getting our shed until next year so we can save the money.  Yes, we do use credit cards, but only as a tool to pay for things we have the money to cover. 

 

Your parents are right that they have to learn.  Set a good example.  

 

 

 

Message 5 of 23
Caneaus2020
Regular Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

I get your point, but that's the intent to stop them from making a mistake, especially when it comes to credit.

 

I tell them all the time, "I'd rather somebody steal your wallet/purse with $500 cash in it, than for you to mess up your credit, even a little bit."

 

They are extremely stute at purchasing items online, as my teenagers have higher staus Amazon accounts than my wife and I. 

 

Plus, there are so many Amazon boxes around the house, I feel as if we own stick in Amazon.

 

So, the ability to use their credit responsibly isn't the issue, it's taking advanatge of stacking deals, with coupon codes, credit card rewards and free shipping that they lack, because they are all impulse buyers, they see something they want, they buy it, regardless if it's $50 cheaper at Best Buy, compared to Amazon.

Message 6 of 23
Caneaus2020
Regular Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

How old are they??

 

I think they can do this on their own and learn how to do it. Yes credit cards have rewards but kudos for using their debit cards with money they actually have, but yes they should learn rewards as well. I think you need to let them grow up and stop doing it for them.

 

I did. They had there cards from July '19 until March '20.

Message 7 of 23
Caneaus2020
Regular Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

I forgot to mention that my parents hate credit cards more than Dave Ramsey.

 

They literally believe credit cards are evil.

Message 8 of 23
Caneaus2020
Regular Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

They are all now 18 to 22 years old ( my three are 18,19, 20, my neices and nephews are 18, 19, 19, 20, 22)

 

They are all college students and since we live in a college town with two major colleges and one of the national's top community colleges, they all stay at home, and since the pandemic, they've all become online students.

 

I must admit, i was like them, pre-occupied and didn't care about credit, as i was 23 before I purchased anything on credit and it was a $330 boom box, that I paid off on time. and then obtained a Sears card in '95, that I allowed to close due to inactivity a year or two later.

 

My angst now is that, with a little bit of effort, all eight of them, could have excellent credit in the high 700s in a few months and get a good four or five card foundation like the CSP, CSR AMEX Gold and so on and allow those great cards to age and cement their credit for a brighter future.

 

That's all I want.

 

I'm use to paying cash for everything,  I watched a video of a guy speak on the comparisons of a man with $500K in cash and a 540 FICO score and a man with $25K in cash and a 830 FICO score, ask, who was more valuable?

 

I want them to learn about LEVERAGE!

 

Message 9 of 23
VanderSnoot
Established Contributor

Re: When Youngsters Simply Don't Care!

Dude, just stop. If they're not asking you for help, then you're crossing boundaries. As everyone else said above, stop.

Message 10 of 23
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