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When loaning money to family goes bad...

Valued Contributor

When loaning money to family goes bad...

I let a family member borrow $1250.00 for a bankruptcy attorney the end of last year (I know... that was a mistake). The plan was to get her out of debt. She'd save a few hundred dollars per month so she could just send me $100.00 per month until I was paid off. I sent the check to the BK attorney and then everything was filed about a month later. Gave it about 5 weeks then asked if she send the first month's payment to me. She said she hadn't been working full weeks because of the holidays and weather (school dept). She'd put a budget together after she started getting normal checks again then get back to me. That was over 3 months ago. I've called and sent a number of text messages. All but that one have been ignored. I also set up an account so she can easily do an electronic transfer into my account. She has ignored all payment requests that were sent through that.

 

I really don't feel like traveling over 1000 miles to goto court but I will if I have to file a claim in small claims court. I shouldn't have a problem getting judgement. After that, I can file to have her wages garnished (that can be up to 25%) and put a lien on any property/sell it. Only item of value is a 15 year old car. It's not worth much to me but it would be the end of the world to her if I take it.

 

Her BK should be discharged in a few weeks. I'm waiting until after that's over before I do anything else. I rather just get the money back without incurring any other expenses. Lesson learned! 

 

(February 28, 2016 update - I set her up on a payment plan so I'd be paid off in just under 1 year. I received my last payment yesterday. It was actually a double payment so she paid it off early. Persistance and the other person wanting to do the right thing pays off!)

 

Cap 1 - $23,000 / Lowe’s - $17,000 / Barclay Apple Rewards - $15,000 / Capital 1 - $15,000 / Walmart - $15,000
Cap 1 - $12,000 / PenFed - $10,000 / JC Penney - $10,000 / Discover IT - $9700 / Barclay Rewards - $5400
Merrick - $2400 - Total - $134,500

EQ - 753 / TU - 741 / EX - 742
Message 1 of 50
49 REPLIES
Regular Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

I'm so sorry you're going through this. The worst thing, to me, is that s/he won't respond to you! Did you have anything in writing that can clearly show an agreed-upon payment plan? I worry it won't be as easy as you think to recoup your money, otherwise. 

 

It won't be for quite a while, but my sister and I are considering helping my youngest by paying the lionshare of a BK attorney retainer (she will have to put up $250).My daughter, as yet, knows nothing of any of this. In all honesty, we don't expect to be repaid. With family members, 9 times outta 10, it's a "gift" lol  However, up until we're ready to proceed, we are watching very closely to see how she handles herself financially.  I mean, why do this if she will mess up again?

 

In the end, maybe that's the best you can hope for on your end. 

EQ FICO 08 677, EX FICO 08 702 (Amex) ,TU FICO 08 704 (Discover) (01/18/2017).
EQ FICO 09 676, EX FICO 09 696, TU FICO 09 702 (03/12/2016).

Gardening until June 2016
Message 2 of 50
Valued Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

Very sorry that happened to you, and what a rude, ungrateful little _____ she's being by ignoring your messages.

 

The general rule though if you're going to loan money to a family member or friend is to assume that you'll never get it back and just let it go if that happens. I completely understand your urge to take her to court, but even if you have a good case, by the time you've driven or flown all those miles, jumped through all the hoops, and done everything you need to do, you might end up even worse off than you are now. And that's if you win. What if you lose?

 

I wish you luck whatever you decide.

Message 3 of 50
Valued Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

I have text conversations from before she filed that stated she'd pay me $100.00 per month until it was paid off and then the one time that she replied when she acknowledged that she'd be paying me back but just needed to start getting full paychecks again.

 

I'd be really surprised if I'd lose the court case. I understate that there would be time and expense to proceed with it but it's the principal of it. I'd kind of group the trip to court into a vacation so it wouldn't feel as bad. And if anything, maybe me pointing out that I could garnish up to 25% of her wages ($145.00 per week) will give her an incentive to start paying. Would be more benefical for her to just send me $100.00 per week.

 

And on top of this, a family member passed away a few months ago so she's going to be getting that person's car. I just found out about this a few hours ago. I'm the one to let her know so my help would be needed to make it happen. I'll pass along the info but don't have any motivation to want to do that. She's on her own...

Cap 1 - $23,000 / Lowe’s - $17,000 / Barclay Apple Rewards - $15,000 / Capital 1 - $15,000 / Walmart - $15,000
Cap 1 - $12,000 / PenFed - $10,000 / JC Penney - $10,000 / Discover IT - $9700 / Barclay Rewards - $5400
Merrick - $2400 - Total - $134,500

EQ - 753 / TU - 741 / EX - 742
Message 4 of 50
Valued Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

does lending money to family ever go well?

 

pro-tip: if you lend money to family or close friend, consider it a loan, and a blessing if you ever see a dime of it again. Can't afford it to gift don't lend it. 

 

 

 

 

Cards: Chase Southwest 20k & CSR 10k & CSP 10k & Freedom 6.6k & Amtrak/Freedom 4.6k, FNBO DISC 25.1k Oregon Duck 5k, & AMEX BCP 32.5k & Hilton Surpass 7.5k & Delta Gold 6k & Zync NPSL, Fidelity AMEX 17k Commerce5.9k & Cash Forward 7.5k & Sams Club MC 12.5k, Paypal Extras MC 8.5k, CapOne Venture 15k, QS 2.5k, QS 750, Amazon 5.9k, Walmart 10k, Citi Simplicity 9k, Discover IT 16k and a nice stack of store cards.
Last APP/HP 5/15/2017 Marcus Loan. 30k
Message 5 of 50
Valued Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

I can't see how people can be like this. How can a person face someone that has lent them money and they have no intention to pay them back? Especially family.

Cap 1 - $23,000 / Lowe’s - $17,000 / Barclay Apple Rewards - $15,000 / Capital 1 - $15,000 / Walmart - $15,000
Cap 1 - $12,000 / PenFed - $10,000 / JC Penney - $10,000 / Discover IT - $9700 / Barclay Rewards - $5400
Merrick - $2400 - Total - $134,500

EQ - 753 / TU - 741 / EX - 742
Message 6 of 50
Established Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

I'd consider it a loss, in fact I'd give some of my relatives 1250 just to get rid of them.
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All credit reports frozen
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Message 7 of 50
Established Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...


blondy250 wrote:
I'd consider it a loss, in fact I'd give some of my relatives 1250 just to get rid of them.

I wouldn't. I'd do the small claims court route, personally. People need to take responsibility for things like this if personal integrity is not enough of a motivator. Since the OP has texts and also probably a copy of the cashed check, getting a judgment should be simple enough.


TU 760 EX 781 EQ 780
Message 8 of 50
New Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

Just for fun I would call or text her leaving a message that you will be flying down on a certain date to discuss this loan because you have not heard back from them. Might motivate them to contact you or start sending payments lol

Message 9 of 50
Valued Contributor

Re: When loaning money to family goes bad...

Yup, I have copies of the check along with the postal receipt from  I mailing it to her bankruptcy attorney.  I keep detailed records. Sometimes it pays off. I like the suggestion about saying that I'd go down there. I'd do it too. I can file the court case through the mail. Would just have to appear if it proceeds.  

Cap 1 - $23,000 / Lowe’s - $17,000 / Barclay Apple Rewards - $15,000 / Capital 1 - $15,000 / Walmart - $15,000
Cap 1 - $12,000 / PenFed - $10,000 / JC Penney - $10,000 / Discover IT - $9700 / Barclay Rewards - $5400
Merrick - $2400 - Total - $134,500

EQ - 753 / TU - 741 / EX - 742
Message 10 of 50