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When relatives give bad advice

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Frequent Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice

Yes I've heard it all from MLM to do as I say but not as I do but just do it... For your better half's sake just nodd and grin Smiley Wink What you do for love...








"Give me liberty, or give me credit!" -PlasticDad


Message 11 of 21
Established Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice


@wasCB14 wrote:
My extended family is a bit weird with money.

The people who are broke love to give advice and promote themselves as experts in all areas of finance, particularly regarding investing. As they try to tell me how they are brilliant investors, either they don't know...or don't care...that I know they're nearly broke (based on what their far more credible parents/siblings/spouses have said).

The people who have money and invest prudently usually play dumb and try to avoid discussing details around others so as not to arouse jealousy.

One relative knows I'm a savvy CC user into perks and miles but still tries to convince me about a number of what might be called CC urban legends.

Another relative recently talked to me (not to a general group) for several minutes about how he recently made X% in 2 months on Z company, and didn't care in the least when I took my phone out then and there and, after looking at the company and clarifying his precise claim, expressed fake confusion and only vaguely hinted the claim was impossible. (To have made X% in Z, one would have had to own it for many years.)

On another occasion, he was talking about stocks and he pressed me for the value of my investment in some given company. The true value was $X, but I responded with about 1/20th of X.

Another broke relative talked about company XYZ and how a long history of not paying a dividend allowed it to pursue all kinds of growth. I knew XYZ had paid a regular dividend for decades, but took out my phone and said something to the effect of "according to such and such website" it was "now" paying a dividend.

Anyone in a similar situation? How do you respond to the propagation of bad advice (and general financial BS) by relatives who shouldn't be giving it?

For folks who do this, I politely change the subject. Its not worth it to me fighting them. I notice releatives who are flushed(with cash) dont brag or even talk about the latest stocks. I am starting to learn myself to take care of my credit and save as much as I can. 

Message 12 of 21
Valued Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice


@Blackswizz750 wrote:

@wasCB14 wrote:
My extended family is a bit weird with money.

The people who are broke love to give advice and promote themselves as experts in all areas of finance, particularly regarding investing. As they try to tell me how they are brilliant investors, either they don't know...or don't care...that I know they're nearly broke (based on what their far more credible parents/siblings/spouses have said).

The people who have money and invest prudently usually play dumb and try to avoid discussing details around others so as not to arouse jealousy.

One relative knows I'm a savvy CC user into perks and miles but still tries to convince me about a number of what might be called CC urban legends.

Another relative recently talked to me (not to a general group) for several minutes about how he recently made X% in 2 months on Z company, and didn't care in the least when I took my phone out then and there and, after looking at the company and clarifying his precise claim, expressed fake confusion and only vaguely hinted the claim was impossible. (To have made X% in Z, one would have had to own it for many years.)

On another occasion, he was talking about stocks and he pressed me for the value of my investment in some given company. The true value was $X, but I responded with about 1/20th of X.

Another broke relative talked about company XYZ and how a long history of not paying a dividend allowed it to pursue all kinds of growth. I knew XYZ had paid a regular dividend for decades, but took out my phone and said something to the effect of "according to such and such website" it was "now" paying a dividend.

Anyone in a similar situation? How do you respond to the propagation of bad advice (and general financial BS) by relatives who shouldn't be giving it?

For folks who do this, I politely change the subject. Its not worth it to me fighting them. I notices releatives who are flushed dont brag or even talk about the latest stocks. I am starting to learn myself to take care of my credit and save as much as I can. 


Fortunately for me, in this situation, I am the poor, broke relative. Our family has always had three rules at family gatherings. We do not speak about 1) religion; 2) politics; 3) finances. Currently, if someone comes to me with a financial proposition I just inform them that my money is tied up in investments with my financial advisor.



















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Message 13 of 21
Regular Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice

I had a coworker that was exactly like this!  He thought he was an expert on everything.  We all just ignored him.  I think some people just like to be the center of attention or have that 15 minutes of fame.  He would say something totally wrong and I would have to go back to that person and correct his misinformation to set things right.  This person I quit speaking to and eventually he quit and found a job elsewhere.

 

Cut out or limit your time with this person is about the best advice I can give.

Message 14 of 21
Established Member

Re: When relatives give bad advice

Oh, boy. Learned this the hard way. Nowadays I'd rather be mum. Whatever they say goes in one ear and out the other.

Message 15 of 21
Highlighted
Senior Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice


@fezwhy wrote:

I had a coworker that was exactly like this!  He thought he was an expert on everything.  We all just ignored him.  I think some people just like to be the center of attention or have that 15 minutes of fame.  He would say something totally wrong and I would have to go back to that person and correct his misinformation to set things right.  This person I quit speaking to and eventually he quit and found a job elsewhere.

 

Cut out or limit your time with this person is about the best advice I can give.


With a coworker who was a jerk, it would be easy. With family, it's tricky.

 

And they are generally friendly and fun to be around...they just can't turn off the "salesman switch".

CSR, CFU, BBP, CF, Discover, Costco, ED, Arrival, Schwab Platinum, IHG49, Hyatt75, Brilliant, Delta Platinum, Savor, BCP, Double Cash
May add 100k Platinum for a year then PC to Gold. May add BofA Premium. May add Virgin Atlantic. Likely to downgrade Savor, CSR, BCP.
Message 16 of 21
Regular Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice

I have had this one refrigerator magnet that a close friend gave me over 15 years ago with words that I live by...

 

I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

 

I later learned it stems from a quote from Winston Churchill

"Never engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man."

 

Message 17 of 21
Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice

Oh, so common in my family, specially with cousins´husbands and wifes. Notably, one of them has a Capital One Platinum that he says is a ¨safe¨ card, almost like debit because he can put automated payments. Surprise, you can do that with almost any card. He prefers to pay in cash though. He has had that card for almost 5 years, so I would not be surprised that if he just asked for a PC they would give him the Quicksilver. 

Message 18 of 21
Regular Contributor

Re: When relatives give bad advice

"Notably, one of them has a Capital One Platinum that he says is a ¨safe¨ card"


Well, that is a SECURED card.
Sounds safe to me!



I'm trying to convince my oldest brother to open a dang BCP card. But he's in love with the Capital One Quicksilver. "1.5% back on everything, so easy!" He's good with his money & credit and all. It's more me saying to stop leaving money on the table for his daily spends. lol

Where I work...very few people I'll talk financially with. There's about 2 others my age, maybe 12x within 10 years...and the other 40+ 20+ years older. And all the older guys are afraid of credit cards. lmao "They tried increasing my one credit card's limit from 10k to 30k! I said Hell no! You put that back to 10k. You see, that's how they get you! Trying to raise your limits so you spend it all." Meanwhile probably half of our forum is actively trying to get limits raised. haha
Pretty sure I could cause a few heart attacks if I plucked out my Gold card...
Message 19 of 21
Valued Member

Re: When relatives give bad advice

My father's advice when I graduated high school and started getting credit - 

 

1. Never ever have any more than two credit cards because if you have "too much credit" you won't be able to get car loans or mortgages. Also employers and others will assume you are financially irresonsible and reckless if you have more than two.

 

2. If you do decide to get another credit card because you are offered better terms or lower interest. Immediately pay off and close one of your other credit card accounts.

 

3. Always keep a balance on your cards and never pay them below about 10% . If you don't keep a balance at all times the bank won't be making any money off you in interest and will close your account or decrease your credit limit. 

 

Now I realize my father couldn't have been any more 180 degrees wrong! To his credit he was born in 1928 and...maybe...there was some truth to his beliefs in the very early days of credit cards, but if so, it hasn't been true since at least the 1970's. But I actually tried to follow this for the first few years of my adult life, then couldn't figure why my credit never seemed to improve and I couldn't get a card with more than $1,000 limit when my friends were getting limits of $5K-10K. 



Message 20 of 21
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