Will men avoid dating someone with meh finances?

[Anonymous]

Let's be honest, guys.  If we liked her enough we would work with her.  

[vanillabean]

I’m sure that some (men) will (avoid dating someone with meh finances). But if you’re not right for them, it could be too they’re not right for you.

Some of those (men) not right for you may be credit snobs. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a bad thing; it may depend on what a snob is. Here’s more on the subject if you like to read.

Film Snob? Is That So Wrong?
What’s Really Hot on Dating Sites? Proper Grammar
Democrats crush Republicans in grammar
Credit Score and Dating….

[Anonymous]

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@Anonymous-own-fico wrote:

I’m sure that some (men) will (avoid dating someone with meh finances). But if you’re not right for them, it could be too they’re not right for you.

Some of those (men) not right for you may be credit snobs. I don’t know if that’s necessarily a bad thing; it may depend on what a snob is. Here’s more on the subject if you like to read.

Film Snob? Is That So Wrong?
What’s Really Hot on Dating Sites? Proper Grammar
Democrats crush Republicans in grammar
Credit Score and Dating….

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Going to add table manners. The proper holding of a fork! Look at some of the TV Commercials and see how the particpants do NOT properly hold their table utensils. This is a biggy for me (where were the parents in teaching them)? Proper grammar even in e-mails where we pretend that it is a typo or the Smart Phone keyboard is too small (even on this site). Review what you write and edit your errors. Sometimes it can change or clarify the meaning of what is written.

[Wovenyarn]

I'm less worried about the person's history and more concerned with their present.  As I am 40 I no longer want to deal with someone who is financially irresponsible. Having said that...stuff happens and we all make mistakes.  

I think there is someone for everyone.  

[vanillabean]

Is it a matter of trust?

"The issue at hand here might be one of trust. “Credit scores matter for committed relationships because they reveal information about general trustworthiness,” the research shows — and those with higher scores tend to be more trustworthy (and thus, possibly, better relationship material)."

This 3-digit number predicts whether your relationship will last

[vanillabean]

Here are some recent thoughts on relationship compatibility.

Will your relationship last? Credit scores may hold the answer
http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/2015/10/21/credit-score-relationship-marriage/74...

[Anonymous]

Speaking as a woman with $733/month income, who's visibly disabled, with 2 years of good credit history and been living out of a car the past year and a half...I have no difficulty obtaining dates. True, some people aren't okay with the extent of my disability, and some people aren't okay with my financial hardship. But I have a lot of positive qualities going for me that tend to draw them in like a bug to a light bulb, and the ones that aren't okay with those things realize it at some point and bounce off, while the rest of them find ways to work with it.

I guess what I'm saying is if guys in general like me enough to get past those unconventional hurdles, which include a really low budget and genuine inability to get a job that increases it, then I'm sure there are guys out there willing and able to be okay with your current financial situation.

Pretty much everyone in the dating pool has baggage of some sort, negative traits, things you'll need to work around. A big key to dating is letting your strengths shine, to the point of potentially outshining your weaknesses. Financial stuff generally doesn't come up within the first few dates anyway. And, even people like Angelina Jolie have people walking away for all sorts of reasons. So don't be discouraged if that happens a few times, just be the best you you can be and I'm sure you'll do just fine.

[GetAHouse]

Personally I would avoid any women that has serious financial issue, but thats just me. However it will depend on their situation. If someone has racked up a lot of debt trying to better themsleves through education, and dont have a lot of other debt, and have the potential to land a good paying job to help out and share in paying their student loans and bills we incur together, I would be open to that. EVeryone from time to time has financial difficulties for one reason or another.

Hoever I would not be interested in someone who is and has been irresponsible and hasnt seemed to have learned any lessons from their mismanagment of money. I'm at a point in my life where I can retire from my current job fairly young and receive a pensions right now, move onto another job for another 10 years or so to save even more money, and then permamnently retire hopefully. I dont want to be taking on somenone elses debt, that will just drag me down.

[ddemari]

For me I wouldn't date someone drowning in debt and it was obvious to me.

I also have a friend who has not had a checking account since 2011. I don't know how she lives! but every bill in her name is in collections and she can't get cable, insurance, anything. And of course it makes since, how are you going to pay for anything back?

I can tell if someone has good financial habits, they usually dont over spend, put money into savings and actually care about the future and their retirement. Of course its hard to spot all of these things off the bat, but they do come out. 

[Anonymous]

If the debt has a legitimate story, or was accrued because you are trying to provide a better future for yourself (such as a degree), it would not be a problem. Even if the debt was acquired due to negligence or disregard in the past... things happen.

What is more important (to me at least) is to evaluate the other person's attitude and respect for their finances. Do they have some sort of budget or is every penny spent with each paycheck? Do they have plans for investing/saving for the future or are they living on a "hope" strategy? Are they open to feedback/financial advice or are they resistant and think they already have all the answers? Are they passionate about creating a better life for themself or are they complacent?

Anything that has happened is already in the past. In my opinion, an individual's current values and their attitude toward the future are what truly matter.