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the worst part of helping friends with credit

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Valued Contributor

the worst part of helping friends with credit

is when they care less about the process than you do.  how in the world can somebody be so out of touch that they let 4 loans spin out of control and have ALL 4 results in a 30 day late?  I have known this man for 45 years.  he is special to me.  we were on our way to see alan parsons at the saban last night - great show btw - and thought I would look at his credit which I have not done for a while.  wow, what a surprise, 98 pts gone in a flash.  all the hard work I have invested into helping this man.  very disappointing.  as a side note will there be any luck in trying to get WF EFS late removals and if so what is the right way to go about it.  maybe I will post in the rebuild area.  sorry for venting but I guess I will just never understand people.  is is so flipping hard to just pay ones bills ontime?  have a nice weekend all

 

 

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Message 1 of 14
13 REPLIES 13
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Established Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves.

    EQ=841        TU=834         EX=834      INQ=0/0/0     UTIL=1%        AZEO


Message 2 of 14
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Valued Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit


@OmarR wrote:

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves.


I guess that about sums it up.  I cannot tell you how many times I have extended myself only to get to the same result.  I think I am nearing the end of the being helpful phase in my life

Message 3 of 14
Established Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit


@bourgogne wrote:

@OmarR wrote:

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves.


I guess that about sums it up.  I cannot tell you how many times I have extended myself only to get to the same result.  I think I am nearing the end of the being helpful phase in my life


Just pick and choose the people more carefully. You can hand them the ball, but they gotta run with it.

Garden Gnome
11 CC | 1 PLOC | 0 MTG | 0 AUTO
No inquiries since: 2019-11
No new accounts since: 2020-01
Message 4 of 14
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Valued Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit


@VanderSnoot wrote:

@bourgogne wrote:

@OmarR wrote:

You can't help people that don't want to help themselves.


I guess that about sums it up.  I cannot tell you how many times I have extended myself only to get to the same result.  I think I am nearing the end of the being helpful phase in my life


Just pick and choose the people more carefully. You can hand them the ball, but they gotta run with it.


I am not sure this can really be done.  if someone screws up to the point of needing help then I believe its only a matter of time before history repeats itself.  this is not my first rodeo,  I recently tried to help a friend and her son and I get no help from them, she cannot even go to a pob to check to see if a card has arrived.  sorry for venting but I am disgusted, I/we have better things to do with the limited time we have here on earth.  it simply boils down to is a person responsible to manage their money and has it together or care enough to pay a bill on time or not.  I am projecting when i think everyone operates or cares about stuff like I do.  I feel like I have been dipped in magic waters after i pay my bills.  I must be insane, I love not being in debt.  sleep like a baby.  again sorry for the vent

Message 5 of 14
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Valued Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

This is why I extend credit to nobody.





My Cards:






Profile Type: New, Thick, 100% Clean
INQ's: EQ: 0 TU: 1 EX: 3 (last 12 mo.)
Recent Accounts: 4 (last 24 mo.)
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myFICO Member since: July 21, 2018 | Joined Community: Aug. 17, 2018 | Starting Scores: EQ: 716 TU: 738 EX: 698
Message 6 of 14
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New Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

It sucks. I have helped a few of my friends and even gave them the starter cash to get an account like CreditOne. All of the people I have helped let their accounts slide right back into the 4's and 5's. Then they wonder why they cannot purchase a house. 

 

I just direct people here now and say if you want to clean it up, do the hard work your self. You get yourself in the mess, get yourself out.




Feb 2020:
Message 7 of 14
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Senior Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

I can totally understand it if someone has limited income and things are tight, it means one has to juggle meaning 1-2 bills might have to wait until the next pay day. It's an everyday struggle to make ends meet for some. There's no help for them unless they can increase their income somehow, or find a way to lower expenses. But that's not always an option for some. 

 

People who have sufficient income to cover their expenses, but are either too lazy or too busy to remember there's a bill due. I don't quite get. Even though I know it's possible to let one slip by now and then, it's happened to me. But not 30 days, I usually catch it within that week it's due.

 

Especially today where we have so many elctronic notifications and auto pay. There should be no reason to constantly be 30-60 days late, not for a responsible person. This isn't 10-15 years ago where if you missed mailing them a check, you had to take time out of your day and call in a payment. And considering people today spend so much time on their phone or tablet, you can't tell me they don't have access to their accounts at a moments notice. With the ease of electronic payments it takes all of 2 minutes to pay somebody.

 

The best thing you can do in not to worry about other people's problems, if they cannot be bothered to worry about it themselves. The only thing you can truly control in this World are your own actions.






Message 8 of 14
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Established Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

These are the people that Dave Ramsey are gearrd towards.

Message 9 of 14
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Established Contributor

Re: the worst part of helping friends with credit

Loyalty means nothing anymore, I had to learn that the hard way. Even if you knew them for years, the trust could go away in a second. It's very sad, this generation is really messed up. But, I would have thought he would be responsible enough but I guess age doesn't really say much.

Message 10 of 14
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