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New to dating again is this normal?

Regular Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


Sleep85 wrote:
Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules

Late to this thread but as someone that is in the final throes of wrapping up the legal process and almost free from a long term relationship, this type of thing is incomprehensible to me.  I will always believe that the rules are what you decide to make them for your life.  Even if it narrows my dating pool, I'd rather wait it out a little longer than be one in a line like a job interview instead of an organic process of two people meeting up for the evening or the afternoon.  That's what my personal worth was before and I don't plan on any less even with all the tech gadgets and online sites that have popped up since.  If this person really impressed you then your call.  But the people that impress me and have approached me still have the "human touch" and have asked me out because they have an explicit interest in getting to know me, not line up a roster to see who impresses the most.  Not worth my time and definitely not worth my personal worth...

Message 11 of 17
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Regular Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Everyone needs to stop being so sensitive. Who cares? I don't do this, but I wouldn't condemn someone that does. Unless you are in an exclusive relationship, why worry yourself about what he or she is doing? This excludes sex of course. Dating is a trial period. The point is to meet a bunch of people and find a good fit. When I first starting dating my ex, I told him to keep dating. Who was I to tell him not to? I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in a committed relationship. One day he came to me and said he didn't want to date anyone but me and I was happy with that decision because during that time I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to become exclusive and see if we could make a go at it. While it didn't work out, I'm glad it worked out the way it did. People have limited time off. Why not set up multiple dates? You may meet for 5 minutes and know you're not a good fit. If you are, then things will work out naturally. 

Message 12 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


myscorerocks wrote:

Everyone needs to stop being so sensitive. Who cares? I don't do this, but I wouldn't condemn someone that does. Unless you are in an exclusive relationship, why worry yourself about what he or she is doing? This excludes sex of course. Dating is a trial period. The point is to meet a bunch of people and find a good fit. When I first starting dating my ex, I told him to keep dating. Who was I to tell him not to? I wasn't sure if I wanted to be in a committed relationship. One day he came to me and said he didn't want to date anyone but me and I was happy with that decision because during that time I had come to the conclusion that I wanted to become exclusive and see if we could make a go at it. While it didn't work out, I'm glad it worked out the way it did. People have limited time off. Why not set up multiple dates? You may meet for 5 minutes and know you're not a good fit. If you are, then things will work out naturally. 


Who in their right mind excludes sex?!?!?! LOL...

 

In my dating world, there's:

 

Ms Right, or Ms Right now.

Message 13 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


Sleep85 wrote:
Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules

When I did date, I didn't date more than 1-2 people at once and didn't hang out with both of them on the same day. It was also mutually well known that we weren't in a relationship. However, with this person, it's just disrespectful the way they are doing things. 

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Message 14 of 17
Established Member

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

NEXT......... 

Message 15 of 17
New Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Two things women find attractive:  confidence, and confidence.

 

They can smell desperation.  Truly give yourself to the evening:  make your focus on getting to know her, and allowing her to get to know you.  Above all, don't talk about yourself unless she asks a question.  LIsten to her talk, and ask genuine questions about what she says.  This shows your paying attention.

 

Its an old saying but still true:  a man who chases women the hardest goes home alone most often.  Bit of a paraphrase but you get the idea.

 

Don't worry about the other dates or men she is seeing:  it matters not to your date.

 

 

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Message 16 of 17
Frequent Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Glad I'm married already.


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Message 17 of 17