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New to dating again is this normal?

Established Member

New to dating again is this normal?

Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules
Message 1 of 17
16 REPLIES
Regular Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


Sleep85 wrote:
Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules

So you wanted to hangout at 10pm, but she instead asked to have dinner at an earlier time?

Does that mean she'll be seeing somebody right after your dinner, on top of the two people before?

Sounds like a busy lady who is testing the waters.

 

Two dates in the same day isn't unheard of; typically a daytime coffee/lunch meetup with one person, then drinks and/or dinner with another.

However, I've never heard of someone trying to sneak in three or four dates in the same evening.

 

My advice: don't worry about it because she likes something about you enough to agree to have dinner with you. Keep it casual and normal.

Since you aren't the only guy she plans on meeting up with that evening, be sure to be on your best behavior and try to make it a better date for her.

She'll definitely be going home and rating each date and which ones she'd like to have a second date with.

Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there, so don't worry if things don't work out.

 

Oh, and there are no "rules" other than being a gentleman and respecting the lady, of course.


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Message 2 of 17
Established Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Dump him and move on.

Show him you have respect for yourself.
Message 3 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


Sleep85 wrote:
Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules

I can give this a good answer but first I need to know your age range and if you are M/F (my answer would vary quite a bit based on age range and M/F).  I mean, not exact but say 20's, 30's, etc.



Message 4 of 17
Community Leader
Super Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


Sleep85 wrote:
Met someone I like. I understand we are both single and this person has no obligation toward me unless a mutual decision is made later down the line, however....

I was asked to hangout later in the evening (10) this upcoming Friday and was told if available earlier could I meet for dinner? I originally said yes, but I've now learned that this person has two dates lined up earlier in the evening when I thought I was waiting around for them to spend time with friends.

Is this normal? Is it okay to ask if I we hangout another time?

I haven't been single in a long time so I didn't know the rules

Forget it and cancel it all together.  He/She already has 2 people lined up?  What are you? His or her 3rd choice?  You are nicer human being than me. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't even bother responding.

 

But if you insist on spending time then ask for another time.

Message 5 of 17
Established Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

They call this "date stacking." It has apparently come back into fashion with dating apps. My mother used to tell me to date around and that is was OK to date many people at once, but I'm just not wired that way. Who wants to be someone's second choice or worse, just not the last choice? Maybe I'm overly idealistic, but I like the idea of someone being so into you that the idea of dating another person, even in the beginning, is incomprehensible. That's what charmed me with my fella. 

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Message 6 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Agree with above. It's stacking. However, it is uncouth to admit to potiential dates that you are doing this.

Poor form new date! Poor poor. TSK I SAY. Take a pass. Move on. Find a new hobby and maybe there will be some deliciously gorgeous specimen participating as well for you to romance. Mm hm.
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Message 7 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Toss em.

 

I didn't like sharing my playthings as a child, and sure as hell don't like to as a middle aged male.

 

If you can't give someone 100% during dating, it's 100% guaranteed you'll never really get to know the real person.

Message 8 of 17
Frequent Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?

Oh, boy... Is this how dating happens these days? I'm lost...

Message 9 of 17
Valued Contributor

Re: New to dating again is this normal?


SmartCredit1 wrote:

Oh, boy... Is this how dating happens these days? I'm lost...


I'm still old school...

Booze, and bad decisions... Lol

Message 10 of 17