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Ok, I feel like I've already screwed up my oldest daughter's college future by I guess not understanding student loans. I guess if I can save 4 of my 5 kids, I guess that's OK? Lol.
So, I have my bachelors degree. I graduated from college in 2006. My oldest got out of high school. We live in Tennessee where they have the 2 year Tennessee promise. But, part of the deal for the 2 years of school is you need to hold a gpa. Well, first semester she messed that up. So, to continue, she had to get student loans. But, to get a student loan, they required us, her parents, to co-sign. My parents never co-signed on my student loans. I doubt they would've. We refused. So, she's now a college drop out one semester in working a minimum wage job. Probably stuck in this lifestyle for a long time.
I am not sure what to do with her and I'm not sure what to do with the rest of my kids. I can't co-sign on all of their student loans. I mean, I just paid off my student loans a year ago or so and that was only because we came across a little extra money. Otherwise, I was planning on making payments on my student loans into retirement. But they're paid off. But, I definitely can't afford to take on 5 student loans if all of my kids go to college. If I co-sign, I could basically be setting myself up to die broke paying student loans for forever.
My parents never got involved in my student loans. They never cosigned. So, what changed? How do kids go to school these days? Do all parents co-sign all of their kids student loans and forgo retirement? As it is, without social security, doubt I'll ever be able to retire anyways. I only have a fraction in a 401k that I'm probably supposed to have at my age for retirement.
Feel your pain. I was fortunate to work two and three jobs plus to get everything paid and in the early years it did affect the grade average.
My Dad refused to sign and informed me it would mean more to me if I earned my way through college which I did. So what is the best approach?
Get your concern about retiring with outstanding student loans. A tough question with what seems there are no simple answers. For the information I shopped student loans a few days ago and find there are some high interest rates so one may need to pay attention.
Best of luck! A tough issue to deal with!
nobody has to go to a four year university, a ton of people get by just fine with community college and living at home or with roommates
federal student loans are available where you don't have to co-sign, they would be in the student's name only, but the amounts are in the community college territory and not the 4 year university territory unless they are getting a bunch of merit-based or need based money to go along with that
merit/need based scholarships are available, especially if they have great grades/test scores
but I have a feeling you're at the income level where you have too much to qualify for the need based ones, but not enough to help contribute to costs
The short answer is that many federal student loans do not require any co-signer, so if your children qualify for those then you wouldn't have to provide any guarantee at all.
Private / other student loans in many cases will require a co-signer as they'd be underwritten based on income / creditworthiness. Some of these loans also offer the ability to release the co-signer but this again would likely depend on the "student" having the ability to demonstrate payments on their own.
So, I was told by my daughter and wife that we had to co-sign for her to go to school at all... wasn't a private vs government thing... but it makes sense to me that you're right. I can't imagine it's changed that much since I was in school. But, in the same token, I don't think my daughter wants to go to school... So probably looking into it further for her and trying to push her to go forward will just make her more resistant.... but good to know. I'm hoping she decides to do something to better her life instead of deciding college is too expensive and pursuing her career as a dollar general cashier like she is now...
(I've tried explaining to her in the past that yea, my 50k of student loans is a lot and the payments were a lot, but would I choose the $400/month student loans with my income now vs no student loans and what I assume I would've made if I didn't take the student loans... I tried... but the more you explain to her, the more she goes the other way...)
talked to my wife about it. ticks me off more. problem is we make too much. So, when she applied for a government loan where we didn't have to co-sign, she was forced to put in all of our tax information. we make too much so she didn't qualify for a government loan. so, she then applied for sallie mae as a private loan and the private loan required us to co-sign. so, because we make too much, we're required to pay for our kids to go to college out of our pockets. (We're not rich at all... I drive a rust bucket 2013 chevy silverado...)
I'm like mad at life now. I mean, you say you'll do anything for your kids. Do I want my kids to have a good life or a terrible life working minimum wage jobs. Me, as the parent, is supposed to jump in front of a bullet for them. So, I want them to have the good life. But, I have 5 kids. Probably estimate $50,000 per kid for college. That's $250k. If I commit to that, then I can forget ever retiring. Wasn't planning on it anyways since social security will probably be gone anyways. Probably will never get enough saved in my 401k to retire anyways. But whatever little chance, if I cosign on all of them and then take over all of their student loans, I'm screwed personally financially. So, do I want to reach older age a little eased with finances or reach old age absolutely stressed about finances and working multiple jobs til I die so my kids can go to school?
I see myself going through a lot of what my parents did. My oldest sister, my dad worked 7 days a week to put her through school. My other older sister, she got a full ride to school, but then messed up her full ride so they paid her college too. When they got to me, they said they were broke so, I took out student loans. They didn't pay a dime of my student loans. I'll admit... I was bitter. My older sisters had no college debt. I carried college debt for 15 years after college.
I don't want to go down the path of paying for the first kids through school. I will go broke and not be able to afford it and then older kids get it and younger kids bitter like I was.
So, the only way to make things fair is screw over all of my kids futures.
I already feel bad because when our oldest had the opportunity to go to France for a school trip, it costs thousands and we saved up for it. now our 2nd oldest we told her we can't afford that big trip for her...
And, just FYI, my wife and I were not completely irresponsible with procreating kids. Oldest is my wife's from a previous marriage. Two younger are my wife and my kids. The two youngest actually are my wife's sister's kids. We took them in like 8 years ago. We went overnight from a 5 person family to a 7 person family. The kids were in harms way and we took them in. The alternative was they were going to go to foster care. We didn't want that.
It was mentioned upthread, but if kids are serious about continuing their education then community college and living at home (assuming that's an option) are far cheaper than going away to a university. I agree that most young people are more likely to be serious about it if they have some skin in the game. Maybe you could agree to provide some level of assistance if they complete their two year degree with good grades and want to transfer to a university for two more years after.
Yeah, we live in tenessee and we have the Tennessee promise where you're entitled to 2 years of college. but our oldest messed that up in the first semester not keeping her gpa up. so, maybe lesson learned for me that next kid, I will demand to see their grades on the schools website like every other week...