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Your wife is on the mortgage note alone. Are you on the deed?
Here's how I understand things: If you are not on the mortgage note, then the short sale will not affect your credit, because you never assumed responsibility for the payment of the loan. However, if you are on the deed, you will have to agree to the sale of the house because you have been granted an ownership stake in the property. Similarly, if your wife wanted to refinance her loan and you are on the deed, you'd have to agree to the refinance since it could affect your interest in the home.