How to decide?

[Anonymous]

It has been 2 months since we filed 1/2012. Actually our scores when up because the damage had already been done. I applied for a Credit One Card on 3/9/2012 and it said my EQ was at 619. I guess since all of my balances reported at $0 including my mortgage and auto, both I reaffirmed. So hopefully I can get those back to reporting correctly so my scores will go back up an we can continue to build from there.

[Math_Rocks]

Frugal, thank you so much for the encouragement. I think one thing that I feel pretty confident about is how much we have learned to live on a cash basis these last two years. If we file, that will really come in handy and that we are so used to making food at home while we watch everyone around us go out to eat all the time. It's Spring Break here and we had hoped to take the kids to the movies but decided we couldn't afford it. So, we got dollar candy, made home popped popcorn and watched a Redbox movie at home. This is the kind of stuff that we do most of the time. We have tried for so long to sacrifice and pay back what we owe but I think you are right, there is too much pride in it at this point and we need a healthy dose of realism.

DH is starting to find some peace about it which is ironic because I was the one who said we should talk to a BK attorney and started feeling some hope at the prospect while he was very reluctant and resistant to the idea. It's like we have swapped places. Maybe that is a normal part of the process and we will swap places a few more times before we come to a final decision. It's important to me that he doesn't feel like I forced us into this. If we do this, we do it together. I think such a big decision needs to be made soberly and with absolute agreement. 

[MarineVietVet]

I'll just toss in my 2 1/2 cents.

The final decision of course will have to be up to you and your husband. All you can do is make that decision based on the best information you have at the time. One advantage you will have over others (including myself all those years ago when we filed) if you do decide to file is the knowledge and advice you can tap into here to help you repair and rebuild.

Just like the vast majority of people who file for BK I went into the process blind and even after discharge did not have a clue how to go forward. This was in 1993 so of course nothing like myFICO even existed at the time.

I did however know that I was never going to repeat the mistakes that led to my BK and the only thing I knew about credit rebuilding at the time was to never be late on payments and to to my knowledge I've never been late on anything since that dark day in 1993. By the time I found myFICO all my negatives had long ago died of old age so I knew nothing of DV's, GW's, PFD's, etc. In my case ignorance was truly bliss. 

I am neither ashamed nor proud of my BK. It's just part of my life that is not so happy but we made it through just fine. There were times it seemed the 10 years would never pass and other times it flew by.

I'll just close with this. If you decide to file don't second guess yourself and don't look back. Move forward.

[Math_Rocks]

Thanks, Marine. That is excellent advice.

I am beginning to think that our decision is inevitable; it's just a matter of timing. We have to come up with $500 to file and we don't know what to do about DH's CC. He has a CC through his employer (for personal use). It's the only CC that we use but it has a $2000 balance and per the employee handbook, if the account is IIB, it is grounds for termination. The BK attorney assured us that Federal law supercedes it and we would have grounds to sue if they fired him for "exercising a legal right". But we are not sure that we want to take our chances, especially as DH may be able to get a promotion in a few months. But it would take months to pay off even if we don't pay our other creditors so it really is a pickle. 

I really don't want to second guess ourselves as we move forward but I want to be sure that this is the right path for us. I am so thankful for all of you here who are willing to be transparent about your own experiences and encouraging about ours.

[Math_Rocks]

Well, if I thought that things couldn't get more confusing...

There has been a big shake-up at DH's work. Three VP's let go in one day. This has opened up a bunch of positions above DH and we don't know if this makes it more likely that he will get a promotion. And, if he gets a promotion, we don't know if the accompanying raise will be enough to cover the deficit in our budget. In general, other than suddenly letting these people go, his company tends to move very slowly so it will be a matter of a couple months, probably, before we know anything. And, in the meantime, we can't pay our creditors. What does this all mean???

[steve23111]

And the plot thickens.  If I were in your shoes, my head would be exploding right now.  I don't know how you're keeping it together, so good job on that much!

Sure, the company policy is that including the company card in the BK is grounds for termination, but that's something I would ask a BK attorney about.  It probably wouldn't hurt (and in fact, I think it could do you a lot of good) to meet with a BK attorney sometime very soon about the situation.  Most offer a free initial consultation to review your situation and see what's best for you.  That would be a prime opportunity to raise the question of whether an employer can take action based on the IIB of a company credit card, and whether your BK attorney is able/willing to assist with any adverse action the employer tries to take.

One thing that isn't clear right now is how many incomes you are working with-- just his or are both of you working?  If you're both working and y'all file BK and the debts are discharged, would you then be able to manage-- at least for a few months-- on just your income, just in case his employer does try to pull something?

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, I wouldn't count on the "maybe".

Those positions could be filled up with DH being one, or they could never be filled up at all, or they might even do it externally.

You need to face the situation you are dealing with in the "now", because that's the only concrete information you have. If you wait and he doesn't get the promotion, then your summer income starts coming in... and then what.

I am not trying to push you into making a decision to file, I'm just trying to keep you realistic. Does he know the reasons why three VP's were let go?

[Math_Rocks]

Steve, we talked to a BK attorney on Monday and he said that DH can't get fired for "exercising a legal right" but I am not sure if that means that he would help us if that were the case. 

We both work. I am a Math professor (ironic, I know) at a small, private university and DH essentially works in mortgage collections. He used to work in the foreclosure department, is now in collections and one of the promotions that he is looking into is in the BK department (even more ironic!). We definitely need both incomes to make the budget even without paying our CC's anything. We really don't want to "test" his employer, especially as things may be on the verge of starting to do so much better for DH. Do you know if we would be allowed to reaffirm the debt? That may be the compromise in all of this. I also have a second job with an online tutoring company but I have been drastically cutting back my hours due to exhaustion and the demands of family and my primary job.

Frugal, I think you are right. We need to make the decision based on what we know now. But just as I was concerned about, DH and I have seemed to swap places again where I am feeling more confident that this is the right choice and he feels like the situation at work may be able to save us from this course of action. His employer did not explain why they let the VP's go but DH had worked under two of them and felt that they were inept. (This is one of the reasons why he left foreclosure and took his current position.) His employer met with everyone this morning to explain that the company is not in crisis and no one will be laid off and there are about 25 positions opening up for people to "move up". As you can imagine, foreclosure is a big business and DH's company has been doing really well since he was hired two and a half years ago. (In fact, I wish he had any interest in these boards because he could give a lot of helpful information to people about the bank side of things when it comes to mortgages and foreclosure and collections.)

[Math_Rocks]

Picked up our tax return today and we owe $2200. (We knew this but it's more "real" when all typed up.) We owed $2800 last year and made payment arrangements but it doesn't look like we can do that this year.  This may force our hand as we literally have nowhere we can get that money from.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that.

My advice would remain the same: Don't hope on a promotion. You might want to act before you start to regret non-action.

Good luck.