@Lurker22 That info is so helpful! We only take one vacation a year with the children & we drive there (as we could never afford to fly with such a large family) & are only able to go because we have a relative who owns a house & lets us stay there for a week for free. We are able to do a huge Costco run and bring up our own food and then do only a few nights out to dinner in the town with the kids. We all cherish that one time a year and first thing my husband said when I mentioned BK was "There will be NO vacation & what will we tell the kids?" I know it hits him hard at a different level as he doesn't want to burden the kids with any money worries. This sheds some more light on what could be possible. 
I know more clarity will come after speaking to some attorneys. I'm not working at all right now & my husband just lost his second job so not sure what parameters we will fall under Ch 7 or 13 - but we will see. The only major concerns I have is our keeping our cars & what happens if our landlord decides to sell (which he hasnt in 13 years we have been here - but you never know) & then we can't qualify for another house lease because of BK on report. Our lease is up soon so my husband usually renogatiates this time of year as we do a year-to-year lease. I know more answers will come after my consults. Again - thank you for ALL your insights! They are extremely helpful.
Youve already got such great feedback thus far but I wanted to chime in with another data point, as someone who just did this. My BK will hit the 2 year post discharge date in July of this year. 2 years ago if you had asked me if I would have 5 credit cards and over 20k in available credit with a credit score just pushing 700 I would have laughed.
I will say what most people on this forum I have seen say - I absolutely WISH that I had filed sooner. 100000%.
I also firmly believe that you can qualify for a chapter 7, and if so , you should consider it. I filed for ch7 and was able to keep my truck loan. Basically you "reaffirm" your auto loan. You also can keep up to a certain dollar amount of other things. Your lawyer will explain all of this. Its not as bad as it seems. And with the help of this forum and the GREAT people here, you will have a tribe of people who can help you on your rebuild - just like they have all helped me and countless others.
@rosco75 Oh My Goodness! Each post brings tears to my eyes knowing that the future after BK is not so frightening. I will definitely have to share these posts with my husband after i speak to some attorneys and decide how we will move forward. Thank you so much for sharing your journey! It fills me with hope & reassurance that I am not crazy for thinking about filing. I know one of the things that scares us most is we are older so thinking of a BK sitting on our reports for 10 years without the ability to get ahead would have us in our 60's :{ & we still have children that are young/need to graduate/go to college, etc. All these stories just show me what is possible. Right now I'm looking at mounting debt & possible judgements and accrued interests and payments that seem like they will drown us & everyone sharing here makes me see some light at the end of a tunnel. I am filling out an online form now for a free consult with one firm. I will let you all know how it goes. Thank you again for sharing your story with me! <3
@heather06 wrote:@rosco75 Oh My Goodness! Each post brings tears to my eyes knowing that the future after BK is not so frightening. I will definitely have to share these posts with my husband after i speak to some attorneys and decide how we will move forward. Thank you so much for sharing your journey! It fills me with hope & reassurance that I am not crazy for thinking about filing. I know one of the things that scares us most is we are older so thinking of a BK sitting on our reports for 10 years without the ability to get ahead would have us in our 60's :{ & we still have children that are young/need to graduate/go to college, etc. All these stories just show me what is possible.
I filed for my Chapter 13 when I was a few months shy of 58 and got my discharge just shy of 63, now three years after discharge I have a fairly sizeable 401(k), a new car, and my wife and I are looking at buying a new home later this summer. Yes, there is life after bankruptcy.
@Horseshoez OMG! You are a RockStar! Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm sure my husband will be reassured by that too (once I let him in on these posts after my consults). 
I'm breathing a little deeper today - thanks to all of you. <3
@NoMoreE46 Thank you for your insight about the possibility of it not hitting my husband's CR. I will definitely ask the attorney about it. That would be a HUGE relief if that could be true!
Thank you for sharing your story, Filing isn't an easy decision by any means. For me it was more a shameful thing like I was admitting I was a failure and with that I put it off until the very last minute but in reality all that did was compound the pain. The best thing I could do for my situation is file because I knew it would take years to pay down the debt and then what? My credit would still be ruined and I would still be starting over so what's the point? Either way I knew I could either fold my hand and file or fight an uphill battle that I may or may not win. So for me it was an easy decision and I'm glad I did it. My debt was eliminated and I was able to start clean. Albeit it takes time to rebuild but at least you can do it without losing sleep worrying.
@heather06 wrote:@rosco75 Oh My Goodness! Each post brings tears to my eyes knowing that the future after BK is not so frightening. I will definitely have to share these posts with my husband after i speak to some attorneys and decide how we will move forward. Thank you so much for sharing your journey! It fills me with hope & reassurance that I am not crazy for thinking about filing. I know one of the things that scares us most is we are older so thinking of a BK sitting on our reports for 10 years without the ability to get ahead would have us in our 60's :{ & we still have children that are young/need to graduate/go to college, etc. All these stories just show me what is possible.
as an older (53) person myself....before doing anything drastic talk to attorneys, do NOT touch any retirement funds until you talk to them - retirement funds are protected in bankruptcy (in my 13 I was permitted by my budget/court approved plan to continue funding for my retirement)