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If you have a mortgage person that you trust, I would discuss the scenarios with him/her.
Be glad that you don't live in a communtiy property state and have the option to just use your wife's credit
Good Luck!
The only way they wont pull a CR is if your wife does a streamline-refi for a lower rate and shorter term. If you attempt to be added on the loan that will trigger a full re-qualification and as a result your CR will be pulled. Trying to hide your BK is pointless since it will be on the CR.
Your score goes directly to your Credit rating. Your wifes score (assuming it is still as high as you say) will allow you to get the best rates available and at the end of the day, that is what matters. Keep in mind that underwriting criteria has changed radically in the last 12 months most lenders offering the best rates are only going to want to do 80/20 For example.... if your home were to appraise for 475,000 most lenders are only going to want to loan 380000 while it is true that you have 95,000 in equity, its not equity you can tap into short of selling the home.