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Yep, I Messed Up Twice

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tcars1987
New Member

Yep, I Messed Up Twice

Hello everybody,

 

I've been apart of this forum for years, but I never post, I usually just lurk and research the information I need to be able to make progression in reaching my goals, but once I stopped reading, I started drifting back into old habits that put me in the situation I'm coming out of now.

 

Back story: I filed Ch. 7 and DC back in 2012 and started off building my credit with a lot of great information that I found just from fellow users and how to get back on track. Afterwards, I got into a relationship, and let's just say... me being a people pleaser and her being a person that felt like my income should suffice for all of our needs was my first mistake. I ended up maxing out my cap 1 (which was DC in BK) and other trashy predatory cards that I signed up for prior to me finding the forums, but managed to maintain until I went crazy having lost my job.  I found another job that didn't pay as much and couldn't keep up with payments so there that went. Ended up defaulting on a personal loan that was used to help pay the bills since of course she was on and off about working. Overall, everything was a mess. That relationship ended, ended up moving out of our apartment with a balance but no eviction and moved back in with family. I started to work on my credit again and after a couple years, decided to give cap 1 a go again and they approved me for Plat and QS unsecured, I also had cap 1 WM, and Discover IT secured. I was doing well until everything just came crashing down. I ended up injuring my back, had major back surgery, couldn't work for a 6 months until I was able to find a low paying sit down job and was able to just try to maintain to keep on track until I got better. Ended up eventually getting better, got my Class A CDL and landed a great paying job... well then... of course people pleaser me gets into another relationship.. but this one was LD. In so many words, I quit my job, moved to her, stuff didn't work out, had a great job but was all seniority based so my work wasn't consistent, therefore defaulting on the cards because it was either those or rent and utilities which I chose to have a roof over my head. I didn't seek out another job because things weren't working out and I was contemplating moving back to my city instead of staying there if the relationship was ending, in which it did.

 

I moved back home and because of the medical debt (gained more since having to have another surgery 10/22, but I'm setting up payment plans for those-not IIB since they occured after filing & 341), the cc debt, and the remaining account balance on the apartment, I decided to file Ch. 7 again because I just needed a new start. My DC was on 12/6/22 and as of today the only thing I've maintained is my Chime secured which I've had since it came out, I recently was approved for NFCU secured, Mission Lane approved me last night with a $2k SL, I have cred.AI just for reporting and Self for a 12 month term since I no longer have a car note or student loan payments.

 

I know this is a lot but I wanted to just vent because I really want to reach the 700s+ .. I've gotten close but never made it before things just turned for the worse. But I have hope. My goal is to buy a home mainly. Not looking for any sympathy, just encouragement that it can happen and any additional advice.

Message 1 of 9
8 REPLIES 8
EAT_SLEEP_JEEP
Valued Contributor

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice

@tcars1987 keep your head up. Many will have had similar situations, me being one of them. Got myself into a crack early after HS with cards/debt and not enough income to maintain and had to BK7.

 

Rose from those ashes so to speak and was riding high in the credit game again and let stupidity take over again and was living beyond normal means yet again and with my back against the wall and facing being sued I had to do the most dreaded thing again and that was file BK7 again in 2015 only this time dragging my wife which i didn't have the first time down with me.

 

After that and much introspection it all came down to me having to face the fact that "I" had a spending problem. Much like the first step for an alcoholic i suppose it was admitting the problem and facing it head on. Life has been great and much more stress free after addressing the underling condition.

 

I learned to stop wanting most importantly, I don't worry about the "Jonse's" so to speak or the status quo and in doing so have found a new level of financial abundance and peace.

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Message 2 of 9
Jnbmom
Credit Mentor

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice

we all have issues that why most are here . I honestly would just work with the 2 cards you have and the secured loan . I would really work on your spending habits and I would save for an emergency fund and just maintain those accounts for atleast 6 months maybe longer . I would put the home buying on the back burner until you can safely maintain what you have and also save up a high emergency fund .

EXP 780 EQ 791TU 795
Message 3 of 9
tcars1987
New Member

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice


@EAT_SLEEP_JEEP wrote:

@tcars1987keep your head up. Many will have had similar situations, me being one of them. Got myself into a crack early after HS with cards/debt and not enough income to maintain and had to BK7.

 

Rose from those ashes so to speak and was riding high in the credit game again and let stupidity take over again and was living beyond normal means yet again and with my back against the wall and facing being sued I had to do the most dreaded thing again and that was file BK7 again in 2015 only this time dragging my wife which i didn't have the first time down with me.

 

After that and much introspection it all came down to me having to face the fact that "I" had a spending problem. Much like the first step for an alcoholic i suppose it was admitting the problem and facing it head on. Life has been great and much more stress free after addressing the underling condition.

 

I learned to stop wanting most importantly, I don't worry about the "Jonse's" so to speak or the status quo and in doing so have found a new level of financial abundance and peace.


I really appreciate that. That's what I've adjusted to since I've filed is that I haven't been spending much at all. I stay focused on what I need and plan to get something that I want with budgeting and make sure I have extra to allow me to get it, if not, it goes back on the back burner. It's different getting used to that, but I am a lot less stressed out because I'm not spending money that I don't have anymore.

Message 4 of 9
tcars1987
New Member

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice


@Jnbmom wrote:

we all have issues that why most are here . I honestly would just work with the 2 cards you have and the secured loan . I would really work on your spending habits and I would save for an emergency fund and just maintain those accounts for atleast 6 months maybe longer . I would put the home buying on the back burner until you can safely maintain what you have and also save up a high emergency fund .


I appreciate the advice! I was contemplating on that as well with just working with the 2 cards. I know that I want change, so I don't want/need an abundance of cards with low limits like the previous go-around. Eventually I just want quality not necessarily quantity. Being that I've been in financial crisis in the past and I'm still dealing with it physically, I'm just trying to marathon the rebuild process.

As for the emergency fund, I've been trying to put back at least 10% to start off and increase from there. Its actually worked out so far because I don't feel stressed out about money and the urge to dive into it as the winter months are slow for my job at the moment so I'm not making as much due to lack of hours.

Message 5 of 9
FireMedic1
Community Leader
Mega Contributor

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice

Welcome @tcars1987 

Well at least you now know what can happen when you least expect it. Having that emergency fund and watching it grow takes the tempation away from using it. I did the pay myself first 10% before the bills after BK. 7 yrs later it looks nice. Since I dont carry balances. I want something or need. Use a crd that has the best bang for the spend. Then pay it from that savings. Let it grow again. Only thing for now is time. As my Grandpa used to say. The time it took to get in the mess your in. It takes twice as long to get out of it. Yes he was right. When it comes to home time. Hopefully rates will be lower then. As you did after the first BK. Just do it again. If you cant pay it. Dont charge it. Save for it. It can be done. There have been others with 2 BK's worse off than yourself and they rebounded. You can too. Time is your best friend. Baddies dont stay around forever. Good Luck!


Message 6 of 9
tcars1987
New Member

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice


@FireMedic1 wrote:

Welcome @tcars1987 

Well at least you now know what can happen when you least expect it. Having that emergency fund and watching it grow takes the tempation away from using it. I did the pay myself first 10% before the bills after BK. 7 yrs later it looks nice. Since I dont carry balances. I want something or need. Use a crd that has the best bang for the spend. Then pay it from that savings. Let it grow again. Only thing for now is time. As my Grandpa used to say. The time it took to get in the mess your in. It takes twice as long to get out of it. Yes he was right. When it comes to home time. Hopefully rates will be lower then. As you did after the first BK. Just do it again. If you cant pay it. Dont charge it. Save for it. It can be done. There have been others with 2 BK's worse off than yourself and they rebounded. You can too. Time is your best friend. Baddies dont stay around forever. Good Luck!


I greatly appreciate it! That was the one thing that I wasn't able to stay focused on as well was actually saving my money. And it's absolutely easier to get into the mess than it is to get out, so I'm definitely going to take it slow this time and just keep reading everyone's experience and advice because it helped me the last time. My goal for this year isn't to get anything that's tangible, but it's just to practice more discipline and consistency. 

Message 7 of 9
Guyatthebeach
Valued Contributor

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice

tcars1987,

 

Welcome to the forum and I totally understand where you are coming from.  Things in life happen and overcoming will make us stronger.

 

You're actually in a good place right now.  You have already have 2 cards and a secured loan.  I know it will be a little while before that NavyFed secured card graduates, but it's going to in time.  I would take the time to read SoulMaster's guide to 700 in 24.  I would also utilize all the resources available to you at NFCU. I would start an emergency savings plan and take advantage of their great rates. Start saving money if it is only $5 a paycheck.  You might was well have one savngs account for savings and the other for your down payment.

During this point of your rebuild, I would make sure one card reports with a zero balance and the other with a 10% balance. Also make sure you always pay everything in full and on time.  

Hang in there, you will do this!

 

Guyatthebeach

Message 8 of 9
SweetCreditObsession
Valued Contributor

Re: Yep, I Messed Up Twice


@tcars1987 wrote:

Hello everybody,

 

I've been apart of this forum for years, but I never post, I usually just lurk and research the information I need to be able to make progression in reaching my goals, but once I stopped reading, I started drifting back into old habits that put me in the situation I'm coming out of now.

 

Back story: I filed Ch. 7 and DC back in 2012 and started off building my credit with a lot of great information that I found just from fellow users and how to get back on track. Afterwards, I got into a relationship, and let's just say... me being a people pleaser and her being a person that felt like my income should suffice for all of our needs was my first mistake. I ended up maxing out my cap 1 (which was DC in BK) and other trashy predatory cards that I signed up for prior to me finding the forums, but managed to maintain until I went crazy having lost my job.  I found another job that didn't pay as much and couldn't keep up with payments so there that went. Ended up defaulting on a personal loan that was used to help pay the bills since of course she was on and off about working. Overall, everything was a mess. That relationship ended, ended up moving out of our apartment with a balance but no eviction and moved back in with family. I started to work on my credit again and after a couple years, decided to give cap 1 a go again and they approved me for Plat and QS unsecured, I also had cap 1 WM, and Discover IT secured. I was doing well until everything just came crashing down. I ended up injuring my back, had major back surgery, couldn't work for a 6 months until I was able to find a low paying sit down job and was able to just try to maintain to keep on track until I got better. Ended up eventually getting better, got my Class A CDL and landed a great paying job... well then... of course people pleaser me gets into another relationship.. but this one was LD. In so many words, I quit my job, moved to her, stuff didn't work out, had a great job but was all seniority based so my work wasn't consistent, therefore defaulting on the cards because it was either those or rent and utilities which I chose to have a roof over my head. I didn't seek out another job because things weren't working out and I was contemplating moving back to my city instead of staying there if the relationship was ending, in which it did.

 

I moved back home and because of the medical debt (gained more since having to have another surgery 10/22, but I'm setting up payment plans for those-not IIB since they occured after filing & 341), the cc debt, and the remaining account balance on the apartment, I decided to file Ch. 7 again because I just needed a new start. My DC was on 12/6/22 and as of today the only thing I've maintained is my Chime secured which I've had since it came out, I recently was approved for NFCU secured, Mission Lane approved me last night with a $2k SL, I have cred.AI just for reporting and Self for a 12 month term since I no longer have a car note or student loan payments.

 

I know this is a lot but I wanted to just vent because I really want to reach the 700s+ .. I've gotten close but never made it before things just turned for the worse. But I have hope. My goal is to buy a home mainly. Not looking for any sympathy, just encouragement that it can happen and any additional advice.


The greatest threat is falling back into your old spending habits so getting educated on establishing and sticking to a budget will be a HUGE help. You're off to a great start.

 

In addition to that, keep the credit chase to a minimum. Really focus on maintaining what you've got well and not using it like it's an extension of your paycheck. From what you've shared, it sounds like that's something you did in the past. You sound like a generous person, so learn to curb the impulse to pay for everything for others all of the time. It will save you a lot of heartache.

 

Continue to budget and spend what's in there. You'll see your credit scores increase over time and your self-respect too.



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