Card offering priority deplaning

[too-much-time]

I'm looking for an airline credit card that offers not only priority boarding, but priority deplaning as well. Who, after a long and tiring journey, wants to watch the aisle's front person at any given time, squeezed by fellow passengers from all sides, at a painstakingly slow pace retrieve from the distant above his shifted over-sized carry-on suitcase and personal item from the crowded overhead bin at a time when all the rows ahead are fully empty, just to be repeated over and over again and ever steadily more annoying? There must be such a card yearning to slap yet another fee on us!

[yudeology101]

Airlines should offer priority deplaning members taser guns & free slapping privileges (restrictions may apply) during the actual deplaning process.

[juggalo9er]

i think greyhound buses offer priority deboarding, doubting they have a credit card though

[myjourney]

Too-much time 

You see were this thread is going Lol...sorry

[yudeology101]

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@myjourney wrote:

Too-much time 

You see were this thread is going Lol...sorry

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LOL

[Anonymous]

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@too-much-time wrote:

I'm looking for an airline credit card that offers not only priority boarding, but priority deplaning as well. Who, after a long and tiring journey, wants to watch the aisle's front person at any given time, squeezed by fellow passengers from all sides, at a painstakingly slow pace retrieve from the distant above his shifted over-sized carry-on suitcase and personal item from the crowded overhead bin at a time when all the rows ahead are fully empty, just to be repeated over and over again and ever steadily more annoying? There must be such a card yearning to slap yet another fee on us!

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Buy a suite / first / business class ticket. Problem solved.

Still can't tolerate having to wait for other first class passengers? Get a private jet. 

[CreditScholar]

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@too-much-time wrote:

I'm looking for an airline credit card that offers not only priority boarding, but priority deplaning as well. Who, after a long and tiring journey, wants to watch the aisle's front person at any given time, squeezed by fellow passengers from all sides, at a painstakingly slow pace retrieve from the distant above his shifted over-sized carry-on suitcase and personal item from the crowded overhead bin at a time when all the rows ahead are fully empty, just to be repeated over and over again and ever steadily more annoying? There must be such a card yearning to slap yet another fee on us!

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Buy a suite / first / business class ticket. Problem solved.

Still can't tolerate having to wait for other first class passengers? Get a private jet. 

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+1. The only real way to have priority deplaning is to fly in a premium cabin. In many cases you'll board and exit from a completely different door than those in cattle class.

The difference between flying F and private never really bothered me that much. There are certain reasons to fly private, but I don't think waiting for other F passangers to de-plane is one of them. If you can't even wait for that few number of people to get off, the issue isn't the cabin class you're flying.

[takeshi74]

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@too-much-time wrote:

I'm looking for an airline credit card that offers not only priority boarding, but priority deplaning as well.

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What airline offers this?  It's not just a decision for the card company to make.

[espnjunkie]

No airline offers this outside of flying business or first class. This has nothing to do with a credit card 

[too-much-time]

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@CreditScholar wrote:

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@Anonymous wrote:

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@too-much-time wrote:

I'm looking for an airline credit card that offers not only priority boarding, but priority deplaning as well. Who, after a long and tiring journey, wants to watch the aisle's front person at any given time, squeezed by fellow passengers from all sides, at a painstakingly slow pace retrieve from the distant above his shifted over-sized carry-on suitcase and personal item from the crowded overhead bin at a time when all the rows ahead are fully empty, just to be repeated over and over again and ever steadily more annoying? There must be such a card yearning to slap yet another fee on us!

---

Buy a suite / first / business class ticket. Problem solved.

Still can't tolerate having to wait for other first class passengers? Get a private jet. 

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+1. The only real way to have priority deplaning is to fly in a premium cabin. In many cases you'll board and exit from a completely different door than those in cattle class.

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But what if what's good for the passenger is good for the carrier? I would imagine that the carrier would applaud the plane being emptied as quickly as possible. Time is money after all. And if they could combine that with fees for priority deplaning, it's a double win! To deplane more efficiently, people need physical space to take down their luggage right when the bell rings. If say aisle seat passengers in even numbered rows were to start, they could run along without any delay, then the next seat closer to the window until the row is empty.

If that's the system and you happen to like a window seat halfway down the plane, you might be wiling to pay a $2 fee to sit in an even numbered row at the time you purchase your ticket and pick your seat. I don't think if it's so far-fetched. When I flew United the other day, I noticed you could pay extra to have your checked items transported to your local destination, so that you could skip waiting at the baggage carousel, a perk that may well be included on your airline card soon. The sky's the limit!

You could also say that it wouldn't be such a problem if people in the cattle class stopped acting as cattle. I remember a time when people lined up nicely to enter the various doors of your everyday local commute train. Now it's every man for himself. Maybe people just didn't mind standing up so much and now they do. Of course if they weren't so eager at the crowded grocery store sample stands, the urge might also be less pressing while boarding the train, lol.

None of this is helped by the upcoming holiday season. Drivers are already so flustered that the rate of cars moving in the opposite direction in parking lots has gone up, as has the number of shopping carts left in the middle of aisles. Maybe it really is hopeless, maybe after all first class is the only way to go. Unless the airline places regulators at strategic points down the aisle. But that wouldn't work, as they'd be in the way.